Nearly a year since the knock
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It's been nearly a year since I had the knock about my partner of 13 years whom I have two daughters wirh 10 and 7. It turned my world upside down I left my partner as I was disgusted in what he had been up to. Evidence has gone to cps only in the last few days I'm just wondering how long this usually takes could a court date be very soon if they do decide to charge. I'm so worried people may think I knew he was up to no good and think less of me with being with him for so long, if it does come out in media if he is charged. He has told me he has viewed 2 category a and distributed the two category a and viewed about a hundred in cat b and c so I think he will get charged. I think I have just prepared myself for the worst scenario. I'm also worrying about finances if he gets charged he currently pays the mortgage as I can't afford to on my own if he gets charged could his work sack him they have kept him on up to now although he hasn't had to tell them he is under investigation for iioc just that he is helping the police with enquires as they had to take his work phone and laptop away for examination. Could he even go to jail it is his first offence.
It can take several months for CPS to make a decision, there's quite a backlog.
Yes he could go to jail for first offence. (Have a read through this forum while bearing in mind it depends so much on the day and who the judge is).
He could lose his job. Has he checked his contract and employee handbook? It'll state whether he needs to tell them of a conviction but also businesses can dismiss for bringing the business into disrepute/gross misconduct if they find out.
It's only likely to be in media at sentencing which gives you a bit of time to prepare yourself.
My ex had the most awful write up in the media after his sentencing. I've not had anyone blame me. Everyone has been very supportive. Several have said it's all on him, that I have nothing to be ashamed of.
Sorry that's not very positive, but it's best to prepare for the worst. Have you checked whether you'll be able to claim for benefits? If he does lose his job, speak to your mortgage provider about a payment holiday or switching to interest only until you can sort things out.
Yes he could go to jail for first offence. (Have a read through this forum while bearing in mind it depends so much on the day and who the judge is).
He could lose his job. Has he checked his contract and employee handbook? It'll state whether he needs to tell them of a conviction but also businesses can dismiss for bringing the business into disrepute/gross misconduct if they find out.
It's only likely to be in media at sentencing which gives you a bit of time to prepare yourself.
My ex had the most awful write up in the media after his sentencing. I've not had anyone blame me. Everyone has been very supportive. Several have said it's all on him, that I have nothing to be ashamed of.
Sorry that's not very positive, but it's best to prepare for the worst. Have you checked whether you'll be able to claim for benefits? If he does lose his job, speak to your mortgage provider about a payment holiday or switching to interest only until you can sort things out.
Thanks for your reply, I'm a born worrier and have worried myself sick over this past year I just want closure now for it to all be done and dealt with but can't help worry about the aftermath if he looses job and how I will manage financially to support my two kids as I only work part time due to having to fit work around the kids. I do get some help with universal credit but they won't cover interest only payments at present they have said they will review it at some point not sure how it works. I worry for my kids that they may get bullied at school if the dad is charged it's just horrible. Think the unknown is the worst of it all not knowing and preparing for the worst. Does it get easier over more time and once it's been dealt with in court etc.
It does get easier. And I think the fear of the unknown is the hardest part. We are past sentencing and things have started to settle down. My kids are teens, so I was worried about how it would impact them and if there would be any issues at school, but as far as I'm aware, they've not had any problems. Their school were really good, the safeguarding team and form tutors were aware, so they could keep an eye out for any issues or bullying. My ex did lose his job and hasn't found another yet, but it's only been a couple of months. Fortunately, I can just about cover our bills.
Thanks for your reply just be nice to finally get to the end of it all I know it's something I'm never going to forget but hopefully I can move on from it all soon and draw a line under it so to speak. If he does get charged and loses his job I will just have to cross that bridge when I come to it. X
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I'm not sure if he has admitted to distributing but he told me that had told him he had distributed two photos. The amount of photos he has viewed around 100 in cat a-c two being in cat a Im hoping if charged the judge will go light on him with there not being so many as I have seen quite a few have hundreds and her suspended sentences. I still really care about my ex partner even though we are not together now he is still the father of my children and I was with him a very long time so I worry for his sake what his life will be like after a charge such as his job loosing that would be a massive blow as that is one of thing that has got him through knowing he is still providing for us as he has let us down massively with all this. Thanks for everyone's advice. I will try to keep remaining strong hopefully the worst of the storm will be over soon.
Hi there,
my partner had 112 images in total but did distribute a handful, we waited 4 years for him to be sentenced, it was his first offence and he did a lot of rehab work with LFF and therapists in the years after his short period of offending back in 2019 but he still received a prison sentence. it really is down to the judge on the day some of them just like to throw people away and set an example, ours took nothing into account. So I always say prepare for the worst because no 2 cases are the same as I've seen on here. Im hoping for you it's a some what a positive outcome though when you get there xx
my partner had 112 images in total but did distribute a handful, we waited 4 years for him to be sentenced, it was his first offence and he did a lot of rehab work with LFF and therapists in the years after his short period of offending back in 2019 but he still received a prison sentence. it really is down to the judge on the day some of them just like to throw people away and set an example, ours took nothing into account. So I always say prepare for the worst because no 2 cases are the same as I've seen on here. Im hoping for you it's a some what a positive outcome though when you get there xx
Thanks hoping for the best and preparing for the worst really. I'm just still in shock nearly a year later about what he has done.