Sky news report
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Great report on sky news right now including an interview with CEO of Lucy Faithful
But it's a start!
Where has there been any recognition before and this is a massive undertaking, to change public perception.
I'm thinking of it like this. In any project we undertake, we have to start somewhere. We can't introduce everything at once and there are phases to projects. I'm thinking this is phase one.
Where has there been any recognition before and this is a massive undertaking, to change public perception.
I'm thinking of it like this. In any project we undertake, we have to start somewhere. We can't introduce everything at once and there are phases to projects. I'm thinking this is phase one.
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like you say - there's so little mention of the families of the offenders, nothing said to make people realise we are all victims caught up in the crime. We don't exist do we?
A certain TV personality has disowned his brother after his offending, certainly his choice. That's accepted by the media -No more said. But there are many people that support their loved one through this - just feel a bit demonised by this choice.
A certain TV personality has disowned his brother after his offending, certainly his choice. That's accepted by the media -No more said. But there are many people that support their loved one through this - just feel a bit demonised by this choice.
Well at least we got a mention and it didn't suggest we must have known what was going on all along.
At this precise moment my husband is hosting a unplanned visit from a friend's family, including a 10 year old boy. Although this is the first child to cross our threshold in several years, and the family knows nothing about my husband's offending, I am so anxious that I've had to plead a headache and taken refuge in my bedroom whilst he is gifting the child some Lego sets he no longer wants. He was never charged with any contact offences but I am terrified of any misunderstandings. We have both been working hard on recovery and rebuilding but it doesn't take much to throw me off balance. Funnily enough we have a cat who always panics when someone comes to the door (almost three years after the knock) and she hides in the wardrobe.
Happy Easter, Judith
At this precise moment my husband is hosting a unplanned visit from a friend's family, including a 10 year old boy. Although this is the first child to cross our threshold in several years, and the family knows nothing about my husband's offending, I am so anxious that I've had to plead a headache and taken refuge in my bedroom whilst he is gifting the child some Lego sets he no longer wants. He was never charged with any contact offences but I am terrified of any misunderstandings. We have both been working hard on recovery and rebuilding but it doesn't take much to throw me off balance. Funnily enough we have a cat who always panics when someone comes to the door (almost three years after the knock) and she hides in the wardrobe.
Happy Easter, Judith
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Evening lovlies x
I agree it is as start but still a long long way to go before the families and impact is understood x
As for the the celebrity who publicly disowned his brother I was not surprised but so disappointed, I thought if he released a statement to say he would still be there for him I think it would have made a difference But nope!
Unless this journey happens to you no one will ever understand what we go through as innocent people ourselves xx
I agree it is as start but still a long long way to go before the families and impact is understood x
As for the the celebrity who publicly disowned his brother I was not surprised but so disappointed, I thought if he released a statement to say he would still be there for him I think it would have made a difference But nope!
Unless this journey happens to you no one will ever understand what we go through as innocent people ourselves xx
I agree with the point of the report. Families/children should been seen as victims. Children of those who commit domestic abuse are now recognised as victims in their own right, even if they do not experience the DA themselves. I would argue that the stigna / damage surrounding sexual offences if far greater than the offence of DA.
As someone who has stood by my OH, I found the report very difficult to watch. It felt as though they found the "perfect victim" to speak on behalf of all of us. While the lady who spokes feelings are, of course valid, they do mirror mine. I feel as though it adds to the stigma and judgement of those of us who stay.
I also feel mentioning the massive increase in online offending without investigating the causes of the increase is lazy.
As someone who has stood by my OH, I found the report very difficult to watch. It felt as though they found the "perfect victim" to speak on behalf of all of us. While the lady who spokes feelings are, of course valid, they do mirror mine. I feel as though it adds to the stigma and judgement of those of us who stay.
I also feel mentioning the massive increase in online offending without investigating the causes of the increase is lazy.
Hello Forum Users
We just wanted to acknowledge your feelings of frustration and hurt regarding the Media’s coverage, or lack of, regarding partners, in particular those that choose to stay in their relationship. However, we are pleased to see some progress where some people's stories are being highlighted. Our CEO, Deborah Denis, featured on Sky News yesterday (05.04.23) and spoke about the significant impact these crimes have on loved ones such as yourselves, and the current lack of support available. You can view this here:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xq3zV2gHD0w&ab_channel=SkyNews
Off the back of this we have had calls to the Stop It Now! Helpline already from those who had seen the coverage, which is really positive as it means that more people have become aware of the support that is available. Together, we are highlighting the importance of this topic.
In addition to this, we are working with the Centre of Expertise on Child Sexual Abuse (CSA centre) to develop an official resource for front line Social Workers who have families where a parent has engaged in accessing Indecent Images of Children. Once complete, this will hopefully also aid the way families are treated in this journey.
Last week, we released a Faithfull Paper which discussed the impact of the Family and Friends Forum. This further acknowledges the lack of support available for loved ones going through this incredible difficult time. For further information, please see: https://www.lucyfaithfull.org.uk/featured-news/impact-on-families.htm
Professor Rachael Armitage’s academic paper “We’re Not Allowed to Have Experienced Trauma. We’re Not Allowed to Go through the Grieving Process” - Exploring the Indirect Harms Associated with Child Sexual Abuse Material (CSAM) Offending and Its Impacts on non-offending Family Members” is what helped inform the Faithfull Paper and some very generous forum member helped contribute. Please see this here:
https://www.tandfonline.com/doi/pdf/10.1080/15564886.2023.2172504
We hope you have a lovely easter weekend,
Lucy
We just wanted to acknowledge your feelings of frustration and hurt regarding the Media’s coverage, or lack of, regarding partners, in particular those that choose to stay in their relationship. However, we are pleased to see some progress where some people's stories are being highlighted. Our CEO, Deborah Denis, featured on Sky News yesterday (05.04.23) and spoke about the significant impact these crimes have on loved ones such as yourselves, and the current lack of support available. You can view this here:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xq3zV2gHD0w&ab_channel=SkyNews
Off the back of this we have had calls to the Stop It Now! Helpline already from those who had seen the coverage, which is really positive as it means that more people have become aware of the support that is available. Together, we are highlighting the importance of this topic.
In addition to this, we are working with the Centre of Expertise on Child Sexual Abuse (CSA centre) to develop an official resource for front line Social Workers who have families where a parent has engaged in accessing Indecent Images of Children. Once complete, this will hopefully also aid the way families are treated in this journey.
Last week, we released a Faithfull Paper which discussed the impact of the Family and Friends Forum. This further acknowledges the lack of support available for loved ones going through this incredible difficult time. For further information, please see: https://www.lucyfaithfull.org.uk/featured-news/impact-on-families.htm
Professor Rachael Armitage’s academic paper “We’re Not Allowed to Have Experienced Trauma. We’re Not Allowed to Go through the Grieving Process” - Exploring the Indirect Harms Associated with Child Sexual Abuse Material (CSAM) Offending and Its Impacts on non-offending Family Members” is what helped inform the Faithfull Paper and some very generous forum member helped contribute. Please see this here:
https://www.tandfonline.com/doi/pdf/10.1080/15564886.2023.2172504
We hope you have a lovely easter weekend,
Lucy
Lucy - Thankyou so much for all the hard work you guys put into the fight for us as we face our struggles.
you are pure gold in our eyes x
you are pure gold in our eyes x
I agree what you say about PS and disowning his brother. How brave he would have been to say he was horrified what his brother had done but would support his effort with rehabilitation.
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And this is why I think "advocates" or as someone else worded it, "mentors" would be good practice. But also I think there should be a national strategy for offender management based around the offence and the individual. Not one size fits all but proportionate to the offence and the risk an offender poses. And not only that, that policy should be in the public domain. Not families searching the internet for information or why they have the additional restrictions.
In my case, I'm a mother of a teenage son. This is one of the areas that's increasingly dramatically. Where is the recognition of the authorities failing to protect my child from what he has seen? I realise he is an offender, but he should never have had access to it in the first place
In my case, I'm a mother of a teenage son. This is one of the areas that's increasingly dramatically. Where is the recognition of the authorities failing to protect my child from what he has seen? I realise he is an offender, but he should never have had access to it in the first place
There are conferences being held. One on 18th May in Newcastle, and one on 23rd and 24th May called PIER23
https://pier2023.co.uk/home
Do any of you have twitter?
https://twitter.com/profrarmitage?s=21&t=FQn5qyOEDBCRzTriPsjamA
For me, it helps me to know that she's fighting our corner x
https://pier2023.co.uk/home
Do any of you have twitter?
https://twitter.com/profrarmitage?s=21&t=FQn5qyOEDBCRzTriPsjamA
For me, it helps me to know that she's fighting our corner x
Evening ladies x
For society to even begin to understand us who do want to support our loved ones , and to understand how this impacts our lives, something has to change, I never heard of the LFF until a leaflet was left by the OIC why would I know this even existed, not one of us would expect our lives to be here, but yet we are ,
The amount of offenders of online is only increasing, the amount of families impacted and of course I do not want to take away the victims in anyway, but we are also secondary victims,
For me it is my son who offended, but what about those with children, where is the support, the understanding, and the anonymity
How can we change things, to prevent this, to give an insight to how we survive each day? Xx
For society to even begin to understand us who do want to support our loved ones , and to understand how this impacts our lives, something has to change, I never heard of the LFF until a leaflet was left by the OIC why would I know this even existed, not one of us would expect our lives to be here, but yet we are ,
The amount of offenders of online is only increasing, the amount of families impacted and of course I do not want to take away the victims in anyway, but we are also secondary victims,
For me it is my son who offended, but what about those with children, where is the support, the understanding, and the anonymity
How can we change things, to prevent this, to give an insight to how we survive each day? Xx
Lucy, just read your above post! THANK YOU! Please can I make a request, please can links to these be pinned? No problem if not.
That paper- 'we're not allowed to have experienced trauma.....' Makes me feel less alone. It describes so accurately what this feels like. It should be essential reading for anyone involved in the field. Thankyou for posting it.