Porn Addiction
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Hi everyone.
My husband has accepted that he has a porn addiction and a proviso of us staying together and working through this is that he gets help. I was wondering whether the courses available through Stop It Now would be suitable for him, given that he says he has no interest (sexually) in children. The addiction led to a stupid mistake.
I'd appreciate any thoughts or suggestions please.
It's a lovely sunny Good Friday where I am and the world looks so much better with blue skies. Hope the sun is shining on you too today.
My husband has accepted that he has a porn addiction and a proviso of us staying together and working through this is that he gets help. I was wondering whether the courses available through Stop It Now would be suitable for him, given that he says he has no interest (sexually) in children. The addiction led to a stupid mistake.
I'd appreciate any thoughts or suggestions please.
It's a lovely sunny Good Friday where I am and the world looks so much better with blue skies. Hope the sun is shining on you too today.
My husband has a counsellor through the StopSO charity. He has to pay but it has been great. There is also SA Anonymous, it's groups like AA or NA and they are free.
My husband is a recovering drug addiction who got clean through NA, he uses the same 12 step program to work on his porn addiction.
My husband is a recovering drug addiction who got clean through NA, he uses the same 12 step program to work on his porn addiction.
I am in a similar situation from what my persons advised me about no attraction to children and I was feeling really lost on steps forwards as a lot of support is for this, spoke with stop it now and they suggested maybe the course wasn't right but to sit and work through the self help modules online and get my person to reflect on what's happened, and me to oversee and get answers. I think from this I will deffo push for a stopso therapist for him to then understand it further.
I would suggest reading the modules online as they are helpful as a partner as they hit the nail on the head for all questions you may have.
I would suggest reading the modules online as they are helpful as a partner as they hit the nail on the head for all questions you may have.
My case is exactly the same. The Councillor told my OH that porn addition isn't yet recognised fully or understood by the public. The Lucy Faithful foundation explained it very clearly and that unless caught then people would carry on getting further and further addicted. In some ways I'm glad my OH got caught as the cycle is now broken. I wish I'd spotted it earlier and prevented all the worry and upset that we've endured this last 12 months and for the foreseeable future. Good luck
Reading everyone else's comments it's nice to know my OH isn't the only one who ended up where he was because of a porn addiction. No matter how many times you tell SS is not about sexual attraction, his stop so therapist believes it to be "opportunity induced habit" you get a spam email for porn you click on it and an hours gone by etc.
She doesn't believe him to have a sexual interest in children or that he would be a harm to our baby when they are born and we are currently in limbo with SS.
There are some really good books out there that we were recommended,
- your brain on porn (Gary Wilson)
- the porn trap (Wendy & Larry Maltz)
- understanding and treating sex and pornography addiction (Paula Hall)
I also attended stopso therpay sessions and my OH gave permission for her to share details from his sessions, it really did help in understanding how legal porn use can escalate.
She doesn't believe him to have a sexual interest in children or that he would be a harm to our baby when they are born and we are currently in limbo with SS.
There are some really good books out there that we were recommended,
- your brain on porn (Gary Wilson)
- the porn trap (Wendy & Larry Maltz)
- understanding and treating sex and pornography addiction (Paula Hall)
I also attended stopso therpay sessions and my OH gave permission for her to share details from his sessions, it really did help in understanding how legal porn use can escalate.
Hi Lee 2.0 - so many good websites out there as well.
SS for us have been a nightmare, everything you say gets twisted and they only seem to record what them seem appropriate.
I had a discussion with them during my initial pre birth assessment where they asked if I believed him to be a paedophile and what I believed the term to mean, I said I do not believe him to be, I know he has been addicted to porn for years but that does not condone his actions, I understand the risks there could be to a baby but if I also believe he has done alot of work over the last 5 years. All that came from that was that he must be good at grooming - it's extremely frustrating. So 5 years later, no worries from mappa, no longer on the SOR etc but feels like we're back at the beginning.
we are currently in limbo land after being transferred to a safeguarding social worker with a CiN plan but no contact from them for 3 weeks, we haven't met or heard from the new SW and have a review meeting due in a few weeks but we have no idea what we should be doing. It's all confusing.
SS for us have been a nightmare, everything you say gets twisted and they only seem to record what them seem appropriate.
I had a discussion with them during my initial pre birth assessment where they asked if I believed him to be a paedophile and what I believed the term to mean, I said I do not believe him to be, I know he has been addicted to porn for years but that does not condone his actions, I understand the risks there could be to a baby but if I also believe he has done alot of work over the last 5 years. All that came from that was that he must be good at grooming - it's extremely frustrating. So 5 years later, no worries from mappa, no longer on the SOR etc but feels like we're back at the beginning.
we are currently in limbo land after being transferred to a safeguarding social worker with a CiN plan but no contact from them for 3 weeks, we haven't met or heard from the new SW and have a review meeting due in a few weeks but we have no idea what we should be doing. It's all confusing.
It's strange because in my meeting they told me how shocked they were on my knowledge surrounding my OH's convictions, the support out there, I have a history of safeguarding training and did discuss a safety plan idea, none of this was included in our report and when I questioned why I was told that it was irrelevant as it doesn't help with the root of their concern. They highlighted one risk my partner poses and it's something he never even did.
We are willing to work with SS, unfortunately the SW we did have had no knowledge surrounding internet offences and openly admitted that, we are hopeful our new one might have more experience.
Thankyou so much, it's great to speak with someone who has experience and is coming out the other side
We are willing to work with SS, unfortunately the SW we did have had no knowledge surrounding internet offences and openly admitted that, we are hopeful our new one might have more experience.
Thankyou so much, it's great to speak with someone who has experience and is coming out the other side
He was signed off last month, no longer under mappa, doesn't have to sign on every year, no SHPO - SS we're involved the week before as my midwife asked if anyone had any criminal records and I thought being honest was best. We didn't plan to get pregnant so soon, it was a conversation and happened quick.
We have made it clear we want to stay as a family in our home and we are scared they will say he has to move out. They wouldn't say either or.
We have made it clear we want to stay as a family in our home and we are scared they will say he has to move out. They wouldn't say either or.