Its that Friday check in Ladies x
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Afternoon lovely ladies x
My weekly post just to see that you are all ok?x
A long bank holiday weekend, my day started at 9am I am usually up for work at 4.30 am so no alarm set, today I hung my washing outside then decided the front garden needed weeding and the grass cut,
My week has been just the normal, work was ok, my evenings consisted of Netflix, and watched a new drama on BBC catch up
Had a video call with my son, he is doing well x
I was meant to be going to a 60th birthday party this evening and as much as I want to go the thought of going out as a single person after 2 years of been on my own I have decided not to go, I have become to accustomed to my own company lol xx
If you haven't already read InTatters post deffinatly do it sums up our journey so well x
My weekly post just to see that you are all ok?x
A long bank holiday weekend, my day started at 9am I am usually up for work at 4.30 am so no alarm set, today I hung my washing outside then decided the front garden needed weeding and the grass cut,
My week has been just the normal, work was ok, my evenings consisted of Netflix, and watched a new drama on BBC catch up
Had a video call with my son, he is doing well x
I was meant to be going to a 60th birthday party this evening and as much as I want to go the thought of going out as a single person after 2 years of been on my own I have decided not to go, I have become to accustomed to my own company lol xx
If you haven't already read InTatters post deffinatly do it sums up our journey so well x
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Blue
I remember having awful days real snot crying a right mess but they do get better, just now and again the tears fall x
I think we are all guilty of letting ourselves go but its great that you have had your hair done x
What sort of clothes are you going for? Xx
Dreams can play havoc with your mind , you wake up in a state of panic then realise it's a dream, but also reality hits like a ton of bricks x
I remember having awful days real snot crying a right mess but they do get better, just now and again the tears fall x
I think we are all guilty of letting ourselves go but its great that you have had your hair done x
What sort of clothes are you going for? Xx
Dreams can play havoc with your mind , you wake up in a state of panic then realise it's a dream, but also reality hits like a ton of bricks x
We finally received a call from my husband following his prison transfer after an incredibly stressful 12 days. Much relief all round. I have a visit booked next week. It's going to be a travel challenge but one I wouldn't miss for the world.
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Life
Oh my god 12 days that's awful x
Do you drive? How far away is he from you, it takes us over 2 hrs to visit my son x
At least you will get to see and hug him x
Is he ok where he has been moved to? Are you ok?xx
Oh my god 12 days that's awful x
Do you drive? How far away is he from you, it takes us over 2 hrs to visit my son x
At least you will get to see and hug him x
Is he ok where he has been moved to? Are you ok?xx
Week has been okay, I'm alone with my kids until Sunday as husband had to travel abroad for a few days (thank God he's still able to travel right now, not sure what will be after he's charged).
Took the kids to the playground today and both my son and daughter were on the swing and absolutely loved it. It was so wonderful to see them both giggling and having fun.
Yesterday I had a "parents evening" in their nursery and the manager and staff said how pleased they are with them both and how well they settled in. They got a lot of praise and it just feels good when people say positive stuff about your kids.
The weather has been lovely, too, so much sunshine and I was able to walk around in a blouse today. We're based in the West Midlands, hope the weather has been equally pleasant in your part of the country.
Both kids are asleep now and I'm going to enjoy a hot cup of tea now.
Have a lovely Easter xx
Took the kids to the playground today and both my son and daughter were on the swing and absolutely loved it. It was so wonderful to see them both giggling and having fun.
Yesterday I had a "parents evening" in their nursery and the manager and staff said how pleased they are with them both and how well they settled in. They got a lot of praise and it just feels good when people say positive stuff about your kids.
The weather has been lovely, too, so much sunshine and I was able to walk around in a blouse today. We're based in the West Midlands, hope the weather has been equally pleasant in your part of the country.
Both kids are asleep now and I'm going to enjoy a hot cup of tea now.
Have a lovely Easter xx
@upset my mindworms started to burrow and the paranoia set in. I started to think they were doing it deliberately. I felt so helpless. I don't drive so rely on public transport. It will be a train and taxi as the bus service to the more remote location runs haphazardly and the times aren't compatible with visiting times ( again feels almost deliberate to make things harder). He initially sounded great as he was in a single cell but yesterday was moved to a block to a shared cell. He's back to not working again but there are more opportunities for work and training so hopefully once he's settled and his sentencing plan is finally written he will feel better about the forthcoming year. x
hpl111
Glad you are doing ok, the weather has been glorious today, I am in the south east x
I bet your children loved having fun, to hear them laugh is priceless, good to hear they are doing well in school, proud mummy moment xx
Glad you are doing ok, the weather has been glorious today, I am in the south east x
I bet your children loved having fun, to hear them laugh is priceless, good to hear they are doing well in school, proud mummy moment xx
Life
Its awful when they share, hopefully he will be moved to his own cell, my son has his own cell it took about 2 months, I worried him been on his own would be worse to be honest but I get he needs his own space and he is so much better x
I hope the journey isn't to bad for you, will you travel the day before and stay overnight? Xx
Its awful when they share, hopefully he will be moved to his own cell, my son has his own cell it took about 2 months, I worried him been on his own would be worse to be honest but I get he needs his own space and he is so much better x
I hope the journey isn't to bad for you, will you travel the day before and stay overnight? Xx
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@upset he's just called and I've never heard him sound so low. Not in this whole journey or our 20 years together. He asked to speak to someone from mental health today and is seeing someone tomorrow. Told him I'm so proud that he has done so. Now worried sick about him.
I'll travel and return home as I can't leave our daughter over night and we have 2 dogs. xx
I'll travel and return home as I can't leave our daughter over night and we have 2 dogs. xx
@smile I'm sorry to hear about your health and that you are feeling scared x We are here for you x
Well this week i picked up my puppy. An 8 week old, she has well and truly made me forget about my worries. I have other dogs so my week has been focued on them. It has been great to not think about the situation I am in. My kids all grown up but still live at home. House is full of noise which is great. No family to spend the easter with and now have much fewer friends. Feel less lonely when looking after my dogs.
i love this weekly check in.
i love this weekly check in.
Life feels over, im so glad you heard from him. 12 days is shocking and of course your mind will start wondering. I'm sorry to hear he was sounding low. My partner is fairly resilient but he's also reached point where he's had to reach out for mental health support - Like you I'm so proud of him that he did it, thankfully it did help and a few things happened as a result. It's horrible hearing them low, I can tell sometimes he tries to hide it, but I encourage him to talk, although because he's always been in a shared cell, he can't always really talk opening my. I tell him often how proud I am of him, how much I believe in him. There are so many ups and downs on this journey.
I hope you have a lovely visit x
I hope you have a lovely visit x
Smile just seen your post xx
I hope whatever it is you are ok , sending hugs x
We are all here for you as always xx
I hope whatever it is you are ok , sending hugs x
We are all here for you as always xx
Life
Ahh bless it is such a worry, but it is good he is seeking help , they will monitor him, please try to look after yourself to ,xx
My son was in an awful place mentally as I was so worried, it's the worst feeling as we cant do anything, but thankfully things have settled and he is ok xx
Ahh bless it is such a worry, but it is good he is seeking help , they will monitor him, please try to look after yourself to ,xx
My son was in an awful place mentally as I was so worried, it's the worst feeling as we cant do anything, but thankfully things have settled and he is ok xx
Smile hope you're ok sending you lots of love and hugs.
Its been a very up and down week-son had second interview on Monday and was offered the job but after making his disclosure prior to them doing a DBS check they subsequently withdrew the offer.
Hes now started working nights at Asda so does have employment and I'm trying to encourage him to focus on that it's another step along the way.
I'm going to see a very dear friend this weekend who has been incredibly supportive through this whole nightmare and then to see my other son which will be lovely.
Take care each and every one of you xx
Its been a very up and down week-son had second interview on Monday and was offered the job but after making his disclosure prior to them doing a DBS check they subsequently withdrew the offer.
Hes now started working nights at Asda so does have employment and I'm trying to encourage him to focus on that it's another step along the way.
I'm going to see a very dear friend this weekend who has been incredibly supportive through this whole nightmare and then to see my other son which will be lovely.
Take care each and every one of you xx
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To be honest it's not been a good week for me. Feel so low, tired and anxious that I've started having chest pains. 3 week till my son is sentenced, my mum is expected to die in the next few days and I'm missing my 4 grandchildren so much since their mum abruptly stopped access. Struggling to see a light at the end of the tunnel. Xxx
@mandymoo this sounds like a time filled with stress for you, please take care of yourself however challenging that may be. I'm so sorry to hear that your Mum is receiving end of life care. I hope that you are receiving help and support to guide you through. Perhaps your chest pains are born from the levels of anxiety you are experiencing. Have you sought advice from your GP? I don't know how you feel about alternative health but we started to take Ashwagandha gummies for anxiety as we approached sentencing. I still do and find they help. I hasten to add I've also taken antidepressant medication since the knock. We are here for you as much as we can be x
Morning Webb89
Aww another new addition to the doggy family and she will deffinatly keep you busy x
I have one dog she is 13 so slowing down a bit but she is in good health xx
My other 2 are grown up young adults and still home with me but my daughter and her boyfriend are moving out in Aug as much as I am pleased for them I will miss her terribly bit they need their own space etc,
A quiet one for me also xx
Aww another new addition to the doggy family and she will deffinatly keep you busy x
I have one dog she is 13 so slowing down a bit but she is in good health xx
My other 2 are grown up young adults and still home with me but my daughter and her boyfriend are moving out in Aug as much as I am pleased for them I will miss her terribly bit they need their own space etc,
A quiet one for me also xx
Seaside
I know it's been a tough week for you and your son , him working is just another positive step x
Have a lovely time with your friend a much needed catch up ,xx
I know it's been a tough week for you and your son , him working is just another positive step x
Have a lovely time with your friend a much needed catch up ,xx
Smile pls dont wait get it checked as soon as possible, hopefully it isn't anything sinister but better to get it checked and it will ease the worrying xx
Daff
You and SoTired should set up your own business, I am useless and DIY :-)
Congratulations to your Daughter xx
What course is it you and your son doing?xx
You and SoTired should set up your own business, I am useless and DIY :-)
Congratulations to your Daughter xx
What course is it you and your son doing?xx
Oh Mandymoo
I am sorry to hear what you are having to deal with please try to look after yourself, easier said than done I know xx
Do you have a support network around you?xx
I cant even begin to understand how much pressure you must be under and I am sorry your mum is so poorly xx
Sending strength and hugs xx
I am sorry to hear what you are having to deal with please try to look after yourself, easier said than done I know xx
Do you have a support network around you?xx
I cant even begin to understand how much pressure you must be under and I am sorry your mum is so poorly xx
Sending strength and hugs xx
Thank you ladies. Sorry for off loading it's just hard keeping it altogether sometimes. Everyone expects me to be strong and deal with all their stuff as well when all I want to do at the minute is go to sleep and wake up in a month. I've told very few people about my son so keeping up the pretence and lying to people is having an affect on me too. I just want this journey over with xx
@life feels over I'm taking antidepressants but I'll look into Ashwagandha. At this moment in time I think I'd take anything if I thought it would help :-) xx
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Mandymoo
Never apologise for sharing how you are this is the one place where everyone can understand how you are , you also have your poorly mum on top of this horrendous journey xx
You are incredibly strong so dont ever forget that xx
Never apologise for sharing how you are this is the one place where everyone can understand how you are , you also have your poorly mum on top of this horrendous journey xx
You are incredibly strong so dont ever forget that xx
This week I've had an initial meeting and now I'm waiting to start counselling. It's through the NHS so may not be specific enough. But it's a start.
Had a meeting at work and they are referring me to Occupational Health so see if there's any support they can give me.
That's the positive news. On the downside I've been "asked" to return to working in the office as my husband is now seen as a risk. Feeling down about that. Given the few people who know about our situation I really think the risk is minimal but obviously I shall have to comply.
Had a meeting at work and they are referring me to Occupational Health so see if there's any support they can give me.
That's the positive news. On the downside I've been "asked" to return to working in the office as my husband is now seen as a risk. Feeling down about that. Given the few people who know about our situation I really think the risk is minimal but obviously I shall have to comply.
Hi Runawaygirl
What does work mean by saying that to you? x
What does work mean by saying that to you? x
Hi Upset Mum
Work see him as being at risk of blackmail to find out company secrets. I haven't a clue who they think will blackmail him given the limited amount of people who know what's going on but I have to follow their decision. No company assets at home.
I did wonder whether they needed to be seen doing something however miniscule that risk was. It seems like an over the top decision to me in the circumstances.
So on top of everything else, I've lost my working from home privileges thanks to his actions.
Work see him as being at risk of blackmail to find out company secrets. I haven't a clue who they think will blackmail him given the limited amount of people who know what's going on but I have to follow their decision. No company assets at home.
I did wonder whether they needed to be seen doing something however miniscule that risk was. It seems like an over the top decision to me in the circumstances.
So on top of everything else, I've lost my working from home privileges thanks to his actions.
I know that feeling runaway Girl I wasn't allowed to work from either!
I'd suggest speaking to unlock and possibly asking for a copy of your risk assessment they have completed to give you an idea of their thinking
I'd suggest speaking to unlock and possibly asking for a copy of your risk assessment they have completed to give you an idea of their thinking
Thank you Upset mum. My other dogs do keep me going. And my son will be moving out soon as well. And he is the one that is the easiest to talk to. I am finding life besides quite hard at the moment, especially during this Easter. We used to have a big family meal out, lots of laughter and food, now nothing.
i am sorry your in a dark place Mandymoo. This is such a difficult journey that i am only just navigating and we are 10 months post sentencing. I feel more confused than ever.
seaside, I am glad your son has got a job, but i am sorry it is not the one he wanted. The system is just so unfair.
Runaway girl that seems so unfair. It gets me everytime that we are the innocents in all of this. What does the company do to minimise the risk then. I have to log in with a key to access the system and have no one overlooking my screen. The security is my responisbility. So if anything happens it is on me. Do they not have a secure system?
i am sorry your in a dark place Mandymoo. This is such a difficult journey that i am only just navigating and we are 10 months post sentencing. I feel more confused than ever.
seaside, I am glad your son has got a job, but i am sorry it is not the one he wanted. The system is just so unfair.
Runaway girl that seems so unfair. It gets me everytime that we are the innocents in all of this. What does the company do to minimise the risk then. I have to log in with a key to access the system and have no one overlooking my screen. The security is my responisbility. So if anything happens it is on me. Do they not have a secure system?
Runawaygirl
I am so sorry, surely working from home the company has there own security software installed, have you been in for a meeting with your manager to talk about the impact and how you feel about going back in to the workplace?xx
I am so sorry, surely working from home the company has there own security software installed, have you been in for a meeting with your manager to talk about the impact and how you feel about going back in to the workplace?xx
Webb89
I know what you mean, I can talk to my daughter about anything so will miss her, my eldest son will still be with me,
I spend most of the time in my own company
My second marriage broke down, not because of my offending son directly but after the knock it changed me so much, I was on suicide watch, with my son ,didn't sleep, didn't want to talk, I couldn't I was to engulfed in the uncertainty, the pain, and then he upped and left, I then lost the sight in my right eye, thankfully the operation went well and I have about 90%vision back but was off work for 6 months, but now I am doing ok, work keeps me busy, and I am now used to a new normal, xx
I know what you mean, I can talk to my daughter about anything so will miss her, my eldest son will still be with me,
I spend most of the time in my own company
My second marriage broke down, not because of my offending son directly but after the knock it changed me so much, I was on suicide watch, with my son ,didn't sleep, didn't want to talk, I couldn't I was to engulfed in the uncertainty, the pain, and then he upped and left, I then lost the sight in my right eye, thankfully the operation went well and I have about 90%vision back but was off work for 6 months, but now I am doing ok, work keeps me busy, and I am now used to a new normal, xx
Mandymoo
I can't think of what to say so sending virtual hug. And do get yourself checked, chest pains should be taken seriously.
I think the situation has taken iits toll on my physical health too, I have had worsening of a number if inflammatory and pre existing conditions. I suppose it's not surprising given the stress we are all under.
Daff and SoTired, you have inspired me to get some decorating done. I keep thinking, what's the point, we might have to move anyway, but at least it means the place will be easier to sell.
I can't think of what to say so sending virtual hug. And do get yourself checked, chest pains should be taken seriously.
I think the situation has taken iits toll on my physical health too, I have had worsening of a number if inflammatory and pre existing conditions. I suppose it's not surprising given the stress we are all under.
Daff and SoTired, you have inspired me to get some decorating done. I keep thinking, what's the point, we might have to move anyway, but at least it means the place will be easier to sell.
Love these weekly posts and seeing how everyone is getting on!
Daff, let me know how the wallpapering goes, although after months of stripping it off the walls, I hate the stuff! I'll probably change my mind nd get some though
We've had a gardening day; cut the grass, sawed tree stumps, shifted and cut back overgrown bushes, dig out plants and now feel like we can actually see this new garden of ours. It feels like we're heading towards a blank canvas! Both lads have been in the garden with me and my eldest has not stopped all day - think he felt it was empowering. Wouldn't have managed it without him! And it was just nice to see them have a kickabout in between work - just being kids x
Daff, let me know how the wallpapering goes, although after months of stripping it off the walls, I hate the stuff! I'll probably change my mind nd get some though
We've had a gardening day; cut the grass, sawed tree stumps, shifted and cut back overgrown bushes, dig out plants and now feel like we can actually see this new garden of ours. It feels like we're heading towards a blank canvas! Both lads have been in the garden with me and my eldest has not stopped all day - think he felt it was empowering. Wouldn't have managed it without him! And it was just nice to see them have a kickabout in between work - just being kids x
Week started off bad with the neighbours harassing my DD again, police called, still not shown up to get her statement etc. so much for a pin on your address. But ended on quite a high note, got to see my step daughters (because their lovely mum brought them to see us), had a very cathartic session with therapist (I think she loves that she doesn't have to spell stuff out to me as I already know it she just wants to see if I'll admit it), I actually left the house to go egg shopping with my DS and DD, it was only about 30 minutes with a minor panic attack but thats progress. Week one of potty training has gone brilliantly (boys are harder to train than girls lol).
currently sat having a lovely cup of tea with DD on the sofa whilst wearing moisturising foot boots as a bit of a pamper time, did nails yesterday. Now making it a weekly thing to pamper ourselves.
I wish you all love xx
currently sat having a lovely cup of tea with DD on the sofa whilst wearing moisturising foot boots as a bit of a pamper time, did nails yesterday. Now making it a weekly thing to pamper ourselves.
I wish you all love xx
Mandy moo I'm so sorry to hear that you're having to cope with your Mum's illness on top of everything else-I know from experience how hard that is.
Please take care of yourself sending lots of love to youxx
Please take care of yourself sending lots of love to youxx
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@Summer - Thanks for the suggestion about the risk assessment. I've not looked at the Unlock website. I'll check that out too.
@Web89 - Our systems are very secure. Two factor authentication. Role-based permissions. Given what job I do, I really don't think that even with a gun to my head, I could find anything worth passing on!
@Upset Mum - My manager was in the same meeting and I must admit that at the time, I just went along. It was thinking about it later that I thought how unfair it all was because of something I haven't done. I have to suffer.
@Web89 - Our systems are very secure. Two factor authentication. Role-based permissions. Given what job I do, I really don't think that even with a gun to my head, I could find anything worth passing on!
@Upset Mum - My manager was in the same meeting and I must admit that at the time, I just went along. It was thinking about it later that I thought how unfair it all was because of something I haven't done. I have to suffer.
Morning Daff
I wasnt sure what MMA was sounds like a good activity to be involved in plenty of tension release and keeping fit at the same time, xx
I wasnt sure what MMA was sounds like a good activity to be involved in plenty of tension release and keeping fit at the same time, xx