Family and Friends Forum

Jayne G

Member since
March 2019

125 posts

Posted Wed May 29, 2019 2:59pmReport post

Hi all,

I don't know what I expect to gain from writing on here, but I'm just feeling so hurt and betrayed today, and not even by my partner.

I've been (reasonably) open and honest with my workplace since "the knock" 11 weeks ago and they've been very supportive with allowing me time to go to counselling, to do the school run etc, until... Last week my boss became quite forceful, saying he feels I've not told enough people to have a support network, even threatening to go to certain members of my family if I didn't. (Needless to say, this put me into a high state of anxiety). I can't deny that this situation has affected my performance - how can it not?? But stupidly, I thought it was best to keep coming in rather than to take some time off. Today he's told me that he doesn't think he's going to be able to keep me while I'm in this situation, as I'm not productive enough and I'm letting my personal situation affect my workload.

I'm effectively being forced to hand my notice in without another job to go to, and I don't know how I'm going to be able to find a new position right now, when I know I won't be interviewing very well.

Has anyone else found themselves in a similar situation?

Jayne G

Member since
March 2019

125 posts

Posted Wed May 29, 2019 8:03pmReport post

Thanks poster. I’ve been with my company for 5 years and at times when my boss has had tough times I’ve kept the business afloat, so I just feel hurt right now. I tried to be honest so that I could deal with the situation, but I feel like it’s been thrown back in my face. I know I haven’t been performing at my best, I do, but today’s conversation felt like a kick to the stomach.

I’ll call up the helpline and try to get some advice. Today has been one of the tougher days of the last 11 weeks!

Edited by moderator Wed July 8, 2020 4:12pm

Tracey

Member since
December 2018

450 posts

Posted Wed May 29, 2019 8:42pmReport post

Hi Jayne G

I think that's incredibly unfair of your manager! How dare he threaten your like this!! He had no right to determine who you do and don't tell about this situation!!

I hope you got through to the helpline and they could offer your done advice, I don't know what to suggest except maybe seeing your GP, maybe you do need some time away from work?? If course you're not going to be working at 100% but the fact you're getting up and going in tells me your doing really well!

What a horrible experience, I wish I could give you a hug but it'll have to be a virtual one. Please take care of yourself xx

Mumof2

Member since
December 2018

21 posts

Posted Wed May 29, 2019 9:43pmReport post

Jayne, it's so sad to hear you have been put in that position. We don't know whether to tell too many people or not enough!

I was in a similar situation last year after our 'knock'. I had asked to work flexibly with my employer at the time, however I was told by colleagues that this wouldn't be possible and not to even bother asking HR (although in hindsight I shouldn't have listened to them and just gone straight to HR!). I then took around 2 months off sick then found another job which would give me the flexibility to work around my children, since I'd become a full time single parent overnight!

This wasn't a job I loved, just a means to an end as I still have a mortgage to pay etc..

I have recently been for an interview and succesful in getting a position within a childrens home, something I have always wanted to do! Also, this still gives me the flexibility and I will have 2 days on my own while my children at school, I am longing for days to myself to be selfish and pop to the gym or do some hinching...basically having 'me time'.

I do hope your employer comes to their senses, in the meantime as others have said I would contact the helpline, speak to HR and definitely your GP. My GP has been amazing throughout this whole period to my children and I.

You will get through this, we are all strong and have proven this by sharing our experiences and getting the most out of this forum!

xx

Jayne G

Member since
March 2019

125 posts

Posted Thu May 30, 2019 7:05amReport post

Hi everyone, thanks so much for your replies. One of the problems I’ve got is that we don’t have an HR team - we’re a small business so there is no HR. I’ll definitely try to speak to the helpline today. I’m worried about being signed off as I can’t afford to be. This is a whole new level of stress I didn’t see coming.