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Confused and scared

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Deedee86

Member since
April 2023

54 posts

Posted Fri April 7, 2023 6:24pmReport post

Three weeks since the knock here.
my partner was arrested on suspicion of facilitating/arranging/commissioning a child sex offence.



horrrifed. Distraught. Disgusted. My life's been ripped separated. All the things everyone else has gone or is going through. I have two children (not his).



this is my second experience. He was investigated when we didn't live together in 2018 and it was dropped with NFA. I wanted to believe him and took him back. I don't think I ever trusted him fully after that ????.



we only got engaged 7 months ago.



I have managed to tell lots of people, and have great support around me.



he was bailed for 3 months initially. Not to contact me or my kids or come to our home.



it is very likely that I will be a witness for the prosecution. At the moment, I just want to talk to him. It's like I'm grieving. No one else understands this need to just be able to talk to him.



Does anyone have experience of whether we will be allowed to communicate if I am a witness for the prosecution? He thinks not, but the police indicated early on that this condition could possibly be dropped but not immediately.. any advice gratefully received.

also everyone is telling me not to have any contact with him, but I know if is different for every partner.


love and strength to you all xx

Edited Tue April 11, 2023 9:11am

loulou74

Member since
September 2022

255 posts

Posted Tue April 11, 2023 2:21pmReport post

I'm sorry you're going through this. I have no idea about whether you can talk to him but didn't want to not reply. Does he have a solicitor that you could ask? Was it the police who said you may be called as a witness? My husband was told by his solicitor not to discuss the case with me as I may be called as a witness if it went to trial, but we were allowed to talk about other things. Are you allowed to write or email? I was so angry initially that I couldn't have a conversation so I wrote to him instead.

I think it's difficult for anyone who hasn't been in this situation to understand why we do not immediately walk away. But these men were a big part of our lives and we need answers, but also we see the good side of them, not just the offender. I'm not with my husband now but I still care about him.

Deedee86

Member since
April 2023

54 posts

Posted Tue April 11, 2023 3:39pmReport post

Thank you for replying.

On the evening I gave a witness statement which I am aware could well be used in the prosecutiton.



in the first week they said they were in changer of bail conditions and could review them if I was sure thats what I wanted..

they said even being a witness he would still be subjected to things like witness intimidation orders/harassment and so on.



he is not accepting help from immediate family. Is on his own, quit his job, drinking heavily. X

Daffodil

Member since
March 2022

965 posts

Posted Wed April 12, 2023 10:38amReport post

Post deleted


Edited Tue October 24, 2023 9:12am

Deedee86

Member since
April 2023

54 posts

Posted Wed April 12, 2023 10:43amReport post

Thank you Daffodil x