Family and Friends Forum

April 11, 2023 3:06pmReport post

Hi there haven't posted in a while so I'll give a bit of background. Fiancee arrested for communication from my house march 2021 , left in limbo , world crashed down around me and lost my sister a month B4 , having no idea what I was to do. 3 days later quick phone call from ss as I have a then 14 year old . (Not his )Had difficult conversations with her but all was well there .found this forum myself through Googlevspoje to gp ... We met and talked everything through , living separate of course, he got help through various agencies including Lucy faithful. Tried to sucide twice ,second time nearly successfully. In Nov he received charges , then had to leave his job . 3 counts of sexual communication with minors , 3 very short different chats with decoys . He was in a bad place mentally then , not that I'd ever ever condone what he did , but I got a better understanding. Took a whole year for evidence to get to solicitor and only got it because it was ordered by the judge along with psr as the whole case was an utter *hit show .I read evidence and this was honestly the worst part for me . 3 court dates later sentenced to 3 years probation and 5 years sor and sopo . No media as requested to judge as to protect me and children and she's agreed . We were lucky . We decided then to split and go out own ways for a while to get our heads straight.hes living 100 miles in a hostel .he received more help as court effected him badly .his po is very supportive and he's only seen visor once after sentencing . After a few months we met up and talked lots , realised how much we love eachother and are having a fresh start .our relationship is stronger than ever . He's only a o see po fortnightly now already and she's supportive of our relationship. He can no have a few over nights at mine as my daughter is 16 and she's delighted we are back together. He went and had a long talk with my mum eo is being supportive too and noone else knows .he's about to get a flat and is volunteering with people with mental health issues and ppounting them in right direction firvhelp . Nhebhad help from noone and had to go seching fir it himself . The helpline here and life line where amazing and made a real difference. We are both more open and honest now and feel like different people starting a new adventure putting all of this behind us .don't get me wrong . I still have bad days but more good now and we talk it through. Just letting people who think nothings ever gonna be better again know there is light at the end of the tunnel. I'm way more settled now then B4 and have learnt a lot about life through this horrific journey. Xx

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Thank you all , just wanted to tell my story so you guys at the start of middle of this are feeling hopeless .no matter what anyone decides life does go on . Lee you helped us so much !!!! I'll still be here to help others in any small way I can , onwards and upwards xx

Scared I'm so happy that things are working out for you too it's a long journey, hope you're feeling more settled. I'm glad it's giving people hope because that's why I wrote it . In case of media I didnt wrote to the judge , only for a character reference and she actually said that was one of the reasons why she wasn't harsher on him plus all the mess ups from the cops and barristers and what it did to his mental health. I asked first barrister we had (who was useless ) can we request no media and she , plus his useless solicitor said we can't . Then new barrister said yes , absolutely, but my ex husband (not my person now ) was very violent and I suffered years of abused even after our divorce.if he found out my life would be hell and lord only know what he'd do so we put this forward and also to protect the kids from getting bullied at school etc .judge was very fair I have to say , but don't know sten to anyone if they say you can't request no media because you can . It's all really up the the judge on the day . luckily he got the same judge for all 4 court appearances .x

Another thing you could ro if your child is suffering from anxiety etc is get your GP to write a letter for you to judge stating the impact it will have on your child /children if the case gets out xx