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Confused&worried

Member since
June 2022

328 posts

We've recently had a PLO meeting and it was agreed that we would get a forensic risk assessment. We fought for it to be done by LFF and that has been agreed. I know its likely to be a while before it happens because of the waiting times.

I keep thinking, what if they assess him as high risk?? I want him home and our lives to get back to some kind of "normal".

He is like the best version of the man I fell in love with since this happened. He had hidden a drug addiction from me for our entire relationship and has now been clean for nearly 300 days. He knows what he did was wrong, he does not have an attraction to children and he wants to stay clean. Unfortunately, some times when he talks, he sounds like a selfish prat!!! I think years of addiction made him selfish and its still a work in progress. What if that idiot is who the people doing the risk assessment see???

Can SS say that he can never come home. I don't know how much more fight I have in me.

Posted Wed April 12, 2023 8:25amReport post

Confused&worried

Member since
June 2022

328 posts

Yes, he's offending only happened while he was under the influence. He has been using since his teens, now in his mid 40's so it has been a huge part of his life.

He has been going to NA since his arrest and I have educated myself. I'm aware that relaps is a part of addiction so wanted to make sure I am equipped to deal with that.

SS think he uses the drugs as an excuse and is him not taking responsibility, however we both see it goes very much hand in hand.

Posted Wed April 12, 2023 1:06pmReport post

Bettyboo65

Member since
June 2022

354 posts

Hi,

Do drugs and alcohol class as mitigating factors?

My person has done these things under the influence ????

Posted Wed April 12, 2023 1:51pmReport post

HelpMe

Member since
June 2022

140 posts

Post deleted


Posted Wed April 12, 2023 2:58pm
Edited Thu August 10, 2023 1:45pmReport post

Confused&worried

Member since
June 2022

328 posts

He has been sentenced to 6 months suspended & 150 hrs unpaid work. I would have liked him to be referred to something like Horizon but he wasn't.

He is regularly drug tested by probation at his request and is waiting a hair test (when his hair grows long enough). We believe he has a porn addiction and he is managing that using the principles of NA. The images were sent on one date following conversation in adult chat rooms for men seaking male company. I believe him to be bisexual but is closeted because his parents are very bigoted. This is definitely the trigger / path to the images being on his phone.

It was mentioned ro me once by a police officer that he had written some erotica but it has never been mentioned again.

He is very much determined to stay clean.

Posted Wed April 12, 2023 5:49pmReport post

HelpMe

Member since
June 2022

140 posts

Post deleted


Posted Wed April 12, 2023 6:56pm
Edited Thu August 10, 2023 1:45pmReport post

Confused&worried

Member since
June 2022

328 posts

I refused to allow unannounced visits, the duty SW to see my children and disclosure to my children.

2 of my 3 children are autistic so I was protecting them from too much disruption as they become very easily overwhelmed.

SS threatened me with care proceedings if I didn't "volunteer" to their terms. Once I agreed; they decided to go with a PLO which actually worked in my favour as I now have legal representation.

Posted Wed April 12, 2023 7:33pmReport post

Quick exit