Feeling lonely
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We aren't very far into this yet so my emotions are still all over the place.
Husband was arrested for sexual communications with a child which he 100% denies. Im still not sure if I believe him or not but have said I'll decide our future when all the evidence comes out. His bail conditions prevent him coming home as he can't have unsupervised contact with anyone under 18. Social have said I can supervise in public but of an evening, especially after my daughter is in bed I just feel so alone. Although even when I'm surrounded by people at work the world can still feel like a lonely place
I have a friend that knows everything and she has been incredible but she can't be here all of the time and I wouldn't expect her to put her life on hold, she already comes round a few times a week for a couple of hours.
I don't really know where I'm going with this post but I just needed to say how I feel to someone who might understand.
Husband was arrested for sexual communications with a child which he 100% denies. Im still not sure if I believe him or not but have said I'll decide our future when all the evidence comes out. His bail conditions prevent him coming home as he can't have unsupervised contact with anyone under 18. Social have said I can supervise in public but of an evening, especially after my daughter is in bed I just feel so alone. Although even when I'm surrounded by people at work the world can still feel like a lonely place
I have a friend that knows everything and she has been incredible but she can't be here all of the time and I wouldn't expect her to put her life on hold, she already comes round a few times a week for a couple of hours.
I don't really know where I'm going with this post but I just needed to say how I feel to someone who might understand.
This is indeed an extremely lonely journey - you can be surrounded by people but still be lonely. I'm sure most of us have had these feelings.
I think unless you've been struck by the sadness of this crime, you don't 'really' understand. Yes I have support from some family members whom I know are there for me, but I don't want to burden them, so once again you slip into your lonely world.... it's a struggle at times for sure..
I think unless you've been struck by the sadness of this crime, you don't 'really' understand. Yes I have support from some family members whom I know are there for me, but I don't want to burden them, so once again you slip into your lonely world.... it's a struggle at times for sure..
Hi Stressed wife,
Smile through tears sums it up - surrounded by people but still so lonely :(
one month today we had the knock. So sorry you are here too. I know how you feel. I haven't seen my parter since knock day and arrest. We haven't been allowed contact. Bail prevents him coming home or contacting me. It feels like a bereavement. I have some great support to chat it thorough, but when you are then home, it feels so lonely. Coming on here and seeing we are not alone, has really helped me x stay strong x
Smile through tears sums it up - surrounded by people but still so lonely :(
one month today we had the knock. So sorry you are here too. I know how you feel. I haven't seen my parter since knock day and arrest. We haven't been allowed contact. Bail prevents him coming home or contacting me. It feels like a bereavement. I have some great support to chat it thorough, but when you are then home, it feels so lonely. Coming on here and seeing we are not alone, has really helped me x stay strong x
It's so lonely, especially living this half life where OH is still part of our family but can't be unsupervised with kids so I can't have my own life. Also it is too complicated to explain to people who don't know why I can't just go out and leave the kids with him. I didn't have a crazy social life before, but it is hard spending so much time on my own.
I completely empathise.
xx
I completely empathise.
xx
It is unfortunately a lonely place. I too feel you can be in a room full of people, but really I'm alone. I have a few people in my life who let me ramble on, but I can now tell their not really interested. So I keep smiling and chat rubbish.
Today a few members of my family have deleted me , I dont have any social media , but I do have insta which I kept open . These are some of my siblings. It does hurt lots, I will have a good cry. Pull myself together and think of the positives I have.
Hopefully the warmer weather will arrive and can start getting out in the garden, keeping me busy.
Thankfully I know were not alone as there alot of beautiful people on here.
Today a few members of my family have deleted me , I dont have any social media , but I do have insta which I kept open . These are some of my siblings. It does hurt lots, I will have a good cry. Pull myself together and think of the positives I have.
Hopefully the warmer weather will arrive and can start getting out in the garden, keeping me busy.
Thankfully I know were not alone as there alot of beautiful people on here.
Hi StressedWife sorry you have come to join us here. I am just short of 4 years into this journey and only recently out the other side of sentancing.
My person was also arrested for sexual communication it was one conversation which he continues to deny. He was found guilty at trial. For there to be charges made there must be enough evidence the CPS feel would get a conviction if went to trial. So what I'm saying is there will be evidence even if your person doesn't remember or denies it. The police don't just come to your house or led to him without something.
Has he explained to you what he thinks has happened or just ignoring the fact? What information has he given you that the police have told him, what response did he give the police? My person had the convo on KIK and he shouldn't have even been on there full stop and if he wasn't he wouldn't have this issue!
If you are trusted to safeguard your children in public why are you unable to do this in the home I would look at doing some safeguarding courses to try and help show social worker you are a protective parent.
My person was allowed to live at home but although I still felt lonely it was also suffocating either I had to take the kids with me or he had to come either upstairs or to the toilet with me. 3.5 years of it is exausting.
sending huge hugs x
My person was also arrested for sexual communication it was one conversation which he continues to deny. He was found guilty at trial. For there to be charges made there must be enough evidence the CPS feel would get a conviction if went to trial. So what I'm saying is there will be evidence even if your person doesn't remember or denies it. The police don't just come to your house or led to him without something.
Has he explained to you what he thinks has happened or just ignoring the fact? What information has he given you that the police have told him, what response did he give the police? My person had the convo on KIK and he shouldn't have even been on there full stop and if he wasn't he wouldn't have this issue!
If you are trusted to safeguard your children in public why are you unable to do this in the home I would look at doing some safeguarding courses to try and help show social worker you are a protective parent.
My person was allowed to live at home but although I still felt lonely it was also suffocating either I had to take the kids with me or he had to come either upstairs or to the toilet with me. 3.5 years of it is exausting.
sending huge hugs x
I'm sorry everyone else is in this boat too but it's helpful to have others feeling the same way!
Summer, the whole interview was no comment other than giving passwords to all his devices. He didn't remember a lot of what was asked at interview, I think this was a combination of shock and fear and the police not allowing him to take his usual medication, he was just trying to get through it but he's spoken to his solicitor since. it was apparently 1 conversation over 3 days over Snapchat. He does have sexual conversations online including snapchat which has always been ok in our relationship but he's always told me about it. The details that have been given he says he definitely hasn't had that conversation at all. We are still awaiting charges, police have referred to CPS and it's been sent back at least twice, we are only 3 months in and his solicitor says they have only done the basic checks which surprised him as he's never had a case like this not have full forensics.
Based on my limited knowledge there wouldn't be any evidence on his phone of a Snapchat conversation anyway as messages automatically delete after 24 hours so I don't know what they might have found? His bail was meant to be 6th April but was extended, although only to 27th April.
My social worker is a complete waste of space to be honest, we went from a single assessment to a cin plan, that was escalated to a s47 before the cin plan was written because she gave me some wrong information. Now we are back to cin, still no plan written and 1st cin meeting is due to be Thursday but it's already been cancelled twice so I'm not holding my breath. They completely ignored that I had done a family safety plan and said I'm not protective at all until I kicked up a bit of a fuss. They think I'm being manipulated because I haven't ended the relationship and say I can't supervise at home because I don't have all the case details that the police have given them and they've been told they can't share it. She's upset my daughter with the way she is with her when she visits school and doesn't communicate with me properly at all.
Summer, the whole interview was no comment other than giving passwords to all his devices. He didn't remember a lot of what was asked at interview, I think this was a combination of shock and fear and the police not allowing him to take his usual medication, he was just trying to get through it but he's spoken to his solicitor since. it was apparently 1 conversation over 3 days over Snapchat. He does have sexual conversations online including snapchat which has always been ok in our relationship but he's always told me about it. The details that have been given he says he definitely hasn't had that conversation at all. We are still awaiting charges, police have referred to CPS and it's been sent back at least twice, we are only 3 months in and his solicitor says they have only done the basic checks which surprised him as he's never had a case like this not have full forensics.
Based on my limited knowledge there wouldn't be any evidence on his phone of a Snapchat conversation anyway as messages automatically delete after 24 hours so I don't know what they might have found? His bail was meant to be 6th April but was extended, although only to 27th April.
My social worker is a complete waste of space to be honest, we went from a single assessment to a cin plan, that was escalated to a s47 before the cin plan was written because she gave me some wrong information. Now we are back to cin, still no plan written and 1st cin meeting is due to be Thursday but it's already been cancelled twice so I'm not holding my breath. They completely ignored that I had done a family safety plan and said I'm not protective at all until I kicked up a bit of a fuss. They think I'm being manipulated because I haven't ended the relationship and say I can't supervise at home because I don't have all the case details that the police have given them and they've been told they can't share it. She's upset my daughter with the way she is with her when she visits school and doesn't communicate with me properly at all.
I totally understand the loneliness. Its such an isolating situation, with essentially losing a husband and the life you once had. It feels like grief for me. Two months on since the knock and I feel aching loneliness. I do connect with trusted friends which really helps but they will never really understand. Sending love x
Anxious mummy
i am in the same boat. One month in. I'm grieving for the man I thought I knew and the life I thought I had and was going to have with him xx
i am in the same boat. One month in. I'm grieving for the man I thought I knew and the life I thought I had and was going to have with him xx
I'm so incredibly sorry that you are here too, I'm also here because my husband was communicating with a decoy ( thankfully not a real child) but was arrested via vigilantes, I have ss in our life but they escalated it to Cpp (not that much different from CiN just more formal).
I haven't seen my husband since October so know how you feel about the incredible loneliness. If you would like to chat, I'm always here as are everyone else on this forum, we are all here for each other and it makes you feel less alone xx
I haven't seen my husband since October so know how you feel about the incredible loneliness. If you would like to chat, I'm always here as are everyone else on this forum, we are all here for each other and it makes you feel less alone xx
I guess I'm lucky in a sense that I can still see my husband when I want to. He's not the man he used to be and my feelings towards him have changed but I can still see him.