Men in recovery from addiction
Notifications OFF
My husband was (unknown to me) addicted to cocaine at the time of his offending and The Knock. He went to his first NA meeting on the evening of his arrest.
Today, he has been clean for 300 days. I am proud of him, its amazing that he has managed to stay sober throughout the worst of years, as well as all of this, he also had a cancer scare.
All of that said, I really resent the fact that he gets so much credit for being in recovery. We have been open about his addiction because it helps to explain why he is not at home. He gets the keyrings from NA, gets told how brilliant and inspiring he is. No-one know what I have been through, no-one tells me how great I am for surviving what he has put me through.
300 days clean = 300 days since my world fell apart.
Today, he has been clean for 300 days. I am proud of him, its amazing that he has managed to stay sober throughout the worst of years, as well as all of this, he also had a cancer scare.
All of that said, I really resent the fact that he gets so much credit for being in recovery. We have been open about his addiction because it helps to explain why he is not at home. He gets the keyrings from NA, gets told how brilliant and inspiring he is. No-one know what I have been through, no-one tells me how great I am for surviving what he has put me through.
300 days clean = 300 days since my world fell apart.
Hi Confused. Firstly well done to you for having the grit to support him.
In the rooms of recovery its the only place in the world where you get appaluded for tearing lives apart...and this does cause resentment especially to the family members who have suffered greatly.
It really is amazing that he has 300 days and is working hard on his recovery and to clear the wreckage of the past. Long may it continue. Im not sure if NA do a branch of recovery for family members like AA do, you could look into it.
As time goes on these feelings will lessen as the work he is doing will continue to strengthen your relationship, long term recovery focus is about family and helping others hopefully you will be the beneficiary of those actions.
Keep on keeping on....its good to voice how you feel, it's not all about him.
Xx
In the rooms of recovery its the only place in the world where you get appaluded for tearing lives apart...and this does cause resentment especially to the family members who have suffered greatly.
It really is amazing that he has 300 days and is working hard on his recovery and to clear the wreckage of the past. Long may it continue. Im not sure if NA do a branch of recovery for family members like AA do, you could look into it.
As time goes on these feelings will lessen as the work he is doing will continue to strengthen your relationship, long term recovery focus is about family and helping others hopefully you will be the beneficiary of those actions.
Keep on keeping on....its good to voice how you feel, it's not all about him.
Xx
Hi,
I completely hear you and recognise the amazing job you're doing of keeping everything together. Whilst my person has a porn addiction so not necessarily as easy to share or be recognised as an addiction I find myself praising him probably more than I should.
I do think it's a society wide thing to praise men more than women. I often get people say things like it's good that he sees and financially contributes to our daughter. Like, absolutely no, these are basic things he should be doing. Why is this the standard for men but women are constantly bombarded by videos of super clean houses or extravagant packed lunches made by women who seemingly have every area of their life in order?
Sending love and recognition that you're awesome xx
I completely hear you and recognise the amazing job you're doing of keeping everything together. Whilst my person has a porn addiction so not necessarily as easy to share or be recognised as an addiction I find myself praising him probably more than I should.
I do think it's a society wide thing to praise men more than women. I often get people say things like it's good that he sees and financially contributes to our daughter. Like, absolutely no, these are basic things he should be doing. Why is this the standard for men but women are constantly bombarded by videos of super clean houses or extravagant packed lunches made by women who seemingly have every area of their life in order?
Sending love and recognition that you're awesome xx