SS lies
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Hi guys
I'm having such an awful time with social services. They have stopped my daughter seeing her step dad for over a year. He has been her dad since she was 4. He got 6 months suspended for two years for possession of iioc and extreme images. Presentecing report recommended community service only but judge wanted to make an example of him.
Her mental health and behaviour plummeted and she has been on a CIN plan for over a year. I am able to see him, but she is not and it breaks her heart. Ss dont care about the pychological damage the situation is having on her. She is 15 now due to be 16 in a month, we are trying to get through her GCSE year and had to have her family broken to bits. First risk assessment case closed with me supervising. Second was no contact. They then did a risk assessment on him alone and said she could see him at contact centres and that's it.
The last two risk assessments contained nothing but pure lies. They cherry picked all the bad stuff and none of the good stuff. They also said he specifically searched for children with the same ethnicity as my daughter which was a total lie. There is no evidence of this at all and they critique him for not remembering the title every image he downloaded 4 years ago over a two week period.
I am doing the circles course which has demonstrated my knowledge of minimising risk of abuse, safety plan etc but they still seem to be intent on keeping my dsughter away from him. Mostly based on some sort of lie that he was attracted to my kid in which there is absolutely no evidence for at all. I have seen all court docs, prosecution case...no search terms were used. Their thoughts come purely from their prejudice, ignoramce anout iioc offenders and they have put 4 together to make 6. Assumptions and lies and no evidence for claims anywhere.
I need to make a complaint. Can anyone let me know what guidelines or regulations ss should be looking at in their judgement of risk what evidence should be used etc? Or any resources or templates anywhere i can use for my complaint? I really don't want to get it wrong. They are behaving unreasonably and my daughter has paid the price for it all. I can't let her down again.
I'm having such an awful time with social services. They have stopped my daughter seeing her step dad for over a year. He has been her dad since she was 4. He got 6 months suspended for two years for possession of iioc and extreme images. Presentecing report recommended community service only but judge wanted to make an example of him.
Her mental health and behaviour plummeted and she has been on a CIN plan for over a year. I am able to see him, but she is not and it breaks her heart. Ss dont care about the pychological damage the situation is having on her. She is 15 now due to be 16 in a month, we are trying to get through her GCSE year and had to have her family broken to bits. First risk assessment case closed with me supervising. Second was no contact. They then did a risk assessment on him alone and said she could see him at contact centres and that's it.
The last two risk assessments contained nothing but pure lies. They cherry picked all the bad stuff and none of the good stuff. They also said he specifically searched for children with the same ethnicity as my daughter which was a total lie. There is no evidence of this at all and they critique him for not remembering the title every image he downloaded 4 years ago over a two week period.
I am doing the circles course which has demonstrated my knowledge of minimising risk of abuse, safety plan etc but they still seem to be intent on keeping my dsughter away from him. Mostly based on some sort of lie that he was attracted to my kid in which there is absolutely no evidence for at all. I have seen all court docs, prosecution case...no search terms were used. Their thoughts come purely from their prejudice, ignoramce anout iioc offenders and they have put 4 together to make 6. Assumptions and lies and no evidence for claims anywhere.
I need to make a complaint. Can anyone let me know what guidelines or regulations ss should be looking at in their judgement of risk what evidence should be used etc? Or any resources or templates anywhere i can use for my complaint? I really don't want to get it wrong. They are behaving unreasonably and my daughter has paid the price for it all. I can't let her down again.
Mary Kate
I unfortunately don't have any experience with SS and am sorry you are having a hard time as is your child x
There are many ladies on here that have been through and are going through the same situation with SS so hopefully they can advise you xx
I unfortunately don't have any experience with SS and am sorry you are having a hard time as is your child x
There are many ladies on here that have been through and are going through the same situation with SS so hopefully they can advise you xx
Thanks for your support, yes I hope so...its all such a nightmare xx
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Thanks for the advice I will do that!
The police and probation have been respectful and reasonable, SS are just vindictive, manipulative, patrinising and passive aggressive
Xx
The police and probation have been respectful and reasonable, SS are just vindictive, manipulative, patrinising and passive aggressive
Xx
What's the age on his sopo that he cant have unsupervised contact ? My persons is 16 , my daughter is now 16 so I'm hoping he can come stay at mine soon but I've meeting with his po and visor to make sure it's all ok .po said since he's not breaking his sopo it should be ok with me as supervisor.
Mary Kate, sorry to hear you're struggling with SS. I struggle with them too. They are very very judegmental and see it as black and white that because I've chosen to stay with my person I am lacking insight and not taking the risk seriously, which is not the case!
Is your husband doing any courses or done any courses since sentencing? I feel that if he's working on rehabilitation then surely the risk reduces over time? The fact they have given you supervised contact then no contact is confusing. Surely they have to look at the bigger picture and the impact it is having on your daughter?
I think, as someone else has mentioned, get copies of everything from SS and build a constructive and logical complaint.
I really wish you all the very best. Let us know how you get on x
Is your husband doing any courses or done any courses since sentencing? I feel that if he's working on rehabilitation then surely the risk reduces over time? The fact they have given you supervised contact then no contact is confusing. Surely they have to look at the bigger picture and the impact it is having on your daughter?
I think, as someone else has mentioned, get copies of everything from SS and build a constructive and logical complaint.
I really wish you all the very best. Let us know how you get on x
@newlady He doesn't have any restrictions on his SHPO around contact with her. All his SHPO restrictions are based around his Internet use being monitored etc.
@lois34 thank you so much for your support. It means alot . They keep saying that I don't recognise risk when all of my actions demonstrate the opposite. They minimise evidence.
My dsughter has suffered so much and they just don't seem to care. They told my daughter at one point when I wasn't in the room thst she will only see him when she is 18. At another point I was told that he wasn't her real dad anyway so stop pretending it's about her having contact its just cause you want a relationship.
I got PTSD from the first risk assessment as it was a roller coaster and my daughter began to self harm. Thankfully i got help for her and she is getting better.they didn't help me get her mental health help at all. Her education was severely affected n she went from a 100%- attendance to 40%. It is her GCSE year and I think she will be retaking as there has been so much disruption.
There should be targeted help and support for the children it's just not fair that they should go through a bereavement like this.
He is doing Maps for change, has counselling and goes to sexaholics anonymous group for the porn addiction. He has also done safer lives intensive course. None of this is enough for them.
I will update this thread and let you know what happens xx
My dsughter has suffered so much and they just don't seem to care. They told my daughter at one point when I wasn't in the room thst she will only see him when she is 18. At another point I was told that he wasn't her real dad anyway so stop pretending it's about her having contact its just cause you want a relationship.
I got PTSD from the first risk assessment as it was a roller coaster and my daughter began to self harm. Thankfully i got help for her and she is getting better.they didn't help me get her mental health help at all. Her education was severely affected n she went from a 100%- attendance to 40%. It is her GCSE year and I think she will be retaking as there has been so much disruption.
There should be targeted help and support for the children it's just not fair that they should go through a bereavement like this.
He is doing Maps for change, has counselling and goes to sexaholics anonymous group for the porn addiction. He has also done safer lives intensive course. None of this is enough for them.
I will update this thread and let you know what happens xx
That sounds awful MK. It is incredibly frustrating. If the SHPO state no restrictions in contact then surely SS have to take this into consideration?
I would strongly advise a formal complaint to SS. I've done one online before and it was quite straight forward. Just type into Google the name of local authority that you're under children's services complaints. Push for them to get an independent risk assessment by LFF. That way independent people can assess him and make their decision.
I really do feel at times SS are just covering their own arses. I understand they are keeping our children safe and are doing their job, but they don't always see the bigger picture. All they are doing now is causing your daughter so much distress which is affecting her education which in turn is affecting you. Surely supervised contact could be allowed?
I really do feel that they make up the rules as they go along because there is no policy/guidance for them when couples stay together. My GP has a friend who is a GP and safeguarding lead. She spoke to them for advice on my situation and she said they don't know what to with our family because myself and my person have stayed together.
Hugs to you lovely x
I would strongly advise a formal complaint to SS. I've done one online before and it was quite straight forward. Just type into Google the name of local authority that you're under children's services complaints. Push for them to get an independent risk assessment by LFF. That way independent people can assess him and make their decision.
I really do feel at times SS are just covering their own arses. I understand they are keeping our children safe and are doing their job, but they don't always see the bigger picture. All they are doing now is causing your daughter so much distress which is affecting her education which in turn is affecting you. Surely supervised contact could be allowed?
I really do feel that they make up the rules as they go along because there is no policy/guidance for them when couples stay together. My GP has a friend who is a GP and safeguarding lead. She spoke to them for advice on my situation and she said they don't know what to with our family because myself and my person have stayed together.
Hugs to you lovely x