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How is everyone?

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Dragonmama

Member since
November 2022

251 posts

Posted Wed May 3, 2023 9:31amReport post

Just wanted to ask how everyone is today? I'm in a blah mood which means I'm neither happy nor sad just blah seems to be the best expression for how I am feeling.

River

Member since
April 2023

68 posts

Posted Wed May 3, 2023 9:43amReport post

Hey Dragonmama,

Bless you, thanks for asking everyone. I've been wondering similar as hearing how people are makes me feel a bit less alone.

Truthfully I'm struggling this week and feeling very sad since deciding to end my relationship with my partner. The heartache is so painful and intense, and I miss him desperately, so it's making me doubt if I've made the right decision. I'm lucky to have some time off work, so I'm taking it easy and I'm trying to move through it and keep reminding myself why I've made the decision but it's not easy.

How are you post-sentencing? Feeling blah is understandable, especially if you've had a run of really high intense emotions recently. Hope you're taking care x

Life feels over

Member since
September 2022

412 posts

Posted Wed May 3, 2023 10:50amReport post

@dragonmama I get blah completely. It seems to come hand in hand with exhausted. My husband is incredibly focussed on pushing forwards, making use of his time for self improvement, planning the future and has started building his physical health since his heart attack. He's also trying to make a positive difference to those he's in contact with and it seems to be working. His padmate went out for yard rather than lying in his bed constantly. This is the man I fell in love with and the one I married, the one I still love despite this. He calls every day to speak to me and our daughter and everyday I'm reminded how much I miss him. On the outside I'm blah and I'm exhausted. I'm tired of trying to balance everything we shared responsibility for at home, trying to remember to do things. I swear I wandered round the supermarket for far too long trying to remember a particular thing I needed and still walked out without it. I have no motivation for self care and brushing my teeth is an effort. I'm tired of forcing myself to eat as I have no appetite and I'm disappearing beneath my clothes. Most nights I struggle to 'settle' and watch anything on TV as my brain is frazzled. I try podcasts and fall asleep.

I've been back on medication since our journey began and have lived with depression in waves for many years. I suspected that 'the knock' had left me with PTSD and was reminded of this when I collected all of our seized property. I've always battled on like a warrior much to my detriment at times. I was proud of myself for putting everything in a box out of sight and telling my husband he would have to deal with it upon release as it was too much for me. I'm trying to appreciate the beauty of each day and focus of something positive from the day; the sun shining, the blue sky, the birth of spring and the bird song. But I'm lonely and I'm exhausted and it's tough, the toll on those left on the outside of the prison walls is underestimated.

I'm visiting next week just before our 17th wedding anniversary. His release date is currently just after our 18th. I stopped drinking when he was sentenced as I didn't want it to become a crutch. The number of times that little 'have a glass of wine' voice has been battled is too many to count.

I hope you are adjusting to your temporary normal post sentencing and finding a positive in each day. Thank you for taking the time to ask after others during your day. After my ramble it's evidently something I needed today.



X

Cherry

Member since
January 2023

107 posts

Posted Wed May 3, 2023 11:40amReport post

Dragonmama

Same as you to be honest kind of in a zombie state not quite living just existing. I hope your children are doing better ? especially your oldest. I'm just hoping for the better weather for days out with my daughter xx

Dragonmama

Member since
November 2022

251 posts

Posted Wed May 3, 2023 12:53pmReport post

@river

im sorry that you are feeling so low you are bound to have mixed emotions after making such a big decision, there feels like there are never any right or wrong answers when we face this sort of situation, and my heart truely feels for you, but I just know that you are a strong lady who has chosen wisely for your health and well-being. Keep strong xx

Dragonmama

Member since
November 2022

251 posts

Posted Wed May 3, 2023 1:02pmReport post

@life feels over

im glad you managed to get all of that off your chest and you should be proud of yourself for doing so. When they are in jail I'm pretty sure it's an odd combination of thankful they are safe and oh god they are in jail feelings.



now to address your eating, I didn't eat for 8 days because of the knock and am still not hungry to this day, but I set an alarm on my phone to tell me to eat something even if it's something small, it doesn't have to be healthy even a small chocolate will do, if you drink tea up your sugar intake to half a teaspoon more just for the energy, just whilst you're still not eating properly. Maybe this will help you, eventually you will be able to stomach a full meal but probably still won't feel hungry.



unfortunately PTSD seems to come with the territory when it comes to the knock, have you seen your GP and requested CBT? It does work wonders for most people.



is your OH doing ok in prison and getting used to it? I think you can send books etc but of course that all does depend on the prison itself as they all seem to have conflicting rules. My OH prison won't allow telephone calls for more than 20minutes for example.



keep well and remember you're important too, this includes mental and physical health xx

Dragonmama

Member since
November 2022

251 posts

Posted Wed May 3, 2023 1:06pmReport post

@cherry

The blah days are the worst I'm sure of it, there is nothing to look forward to or stress about, it's like our bodies and minds become accustomed to dealing with high stress situations and when there is nothing we just can't focus.

will you be going for picnics in the park or stargazing? What plans do you have for you and your daughter come better weather?

my eldest is doing much better thank you for asking, my youngest has finally gotten over whatever was making him unwell (so back to sleeping a full night for him thankfully) xx

Cherry

Member since
January 2023

107 posts

Posted Wed May 3, 2023 2:34pmReport post

We definitely will be going on more picnics, beach days and long walks. obviously me walking and her being pushed round like a queen lol it's a lovely day where I am today I've just had my therapy and feeling better so plan on taking my daughter to the pub for tea after school, do you have any plans for the nicer weather? I'm glad your children are doing better and that your son is sleeping better because it means you getting a good night's sleep too. Xx

Dragonmama

Member since
November 2022

251 posts

Posted Wed May 3, 2023 2:47pmReport post

@cherry

sounds like you will be having lots of fun. Some envy but you know I won't be going out just yet it's something I'm working on.



lol me getting a full nights sleep is not something I bank on any time soon, my mind works a bit too fast atm, 4-5 hours is my average x

Cherry

Member since
January 2023

107 posts

Posted Wed May 3, 2023 2:55pmReport post

Post deleted by user


Edited Thu January 11, 2024 10:32pm

Dragonmama

Member since
November 2022

251 posts

Posted Wed May 3, 2023 3:30pmReport post

@cherry

i don't sleep much normally so not worried about the lack of sleep to be honest. It's only gone down by about an hour. Besides hate sleeping pills as they can be addictive and I can't really afford to be a walking zombie the rest of the time. I'm ok really.

SoTired

Member since
March 2021

387 posts

Posted Wed May 3, 2023 8:38pmReport post

Well, I've poured a glass of lager on a work Wednesday, eaten half a lemon drizzle cake, and am having issues with the fact that my rolls appear to want to sag over my bra... I may have to resort to windeze... attractive much?

Havent heard anything from SS and a bit worried they will want to do direct work when my son's GCSEs start on the 15th but also sort of enjoying the fact that I'm just allowed to settle back into work (which I think they will be doing deliberately knowing these workers.)

So, whilst it's all up in the air, it's good to be productive again. But, Im absolutely shattered.



Dragonmama, go with the blah! Blah is totally normal I think! You've had a whirlwind and it needs to all settle. Just don't start eating random snails and frog's legs out of the garden... that's a bit weird! You've got this my lovely. Have you tried venturing out anywhere recently? Have you been back to play group?


oh, and the Repose is still working! Best money I've spent. And I'm in the process of embroidering new bedding/pillowcases so that I can create pretty bottom pillows and feel fancy.

Sending you all love. Xxx

Edited Wed May 3, 2023 8:39pm

Dragonmama

Member since
November 2022

251 posts

Posted Thu May 4, 2023 9:40amReport post

@so tired

that does sound very attractive indeed, should have added crumbs around your mouth and you would be on to a winner lmao.

what are ss doing now? I've not heard from my lot in a couple weeks now. You can clearly tell they are so caring and do their jobs well.....not

yeah I've returned to baby group DS made a crown for the coronation (and yeah I'm sad going to be watching it) he looks super cute. Not been anywhere other than that really and certainly not on my own save the local shop, which is still within my 5 minute comfort zone.



still no luck with a good outlet for frustrations save a 5ft punch bag in the garden but might have to give that a miss for another few weeks as I may have over done it a couple of weeks back....oops. Done a few meals no snails or froglegs I promise lol

glad your back at work and it's wearing you out, to be fair I think you needed that, sometimes the structure and tiredness are what you need to process better, I personally like having arguments with my therapist to put my mind into processing better.

embroidered bedding now arnt we being fancy, it will be doilies next watch out xx

Edited Thu May 4, 2023 9:43am