How to navigate SS and get partner back home
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Hello All
In after some advice as im completely having a meltdown today feeling like there is no way forward. M partner is coming to the end of his sentence this October and has a shpo. I have two small children with my partner but he hasn't been allowed to return home since his arrest 3 years ago .
Im reaching out as i dont know what to do and i dont want to give up. My partner is classed as medium risk via probation but on the low scale of medium risk. SS informed me yesterday that they wouldn't consider allowing him home unless his risk is lowered. However probation have stated in all there years that they have never lowered someone's risk after there conviction. Which to me only means he will never be allowed home for us to be a family. Weve done everything SS have asked of us, therapy inform program and ive done an assessment to try snd supervise him with our children. Still waiting for ab answer on that as children sre on child protection plan.
Everyone keeps saying it cant go on forever, I've said i want him home but social gave me the impression that cant happen and theyd end up taking us to PLO to move things forward. Please does anyone have any experience of partner being allowed home or any advice on how to deal with Ss.
Im really scared
In after some advice as im completely having a meltdown today feeling like there is no way forward. M partner is coming to the end of his sentence this October and has a shpo. I have two small children with my partner but he hasn't been allowed to return home since his arrest 3 years ago .
Im reaching out as i dont know what to do and i dont want to give up. My partner is classed as medium risk via probation but on the low scale of medium risk. SS informed me yesterday that they wouldn't consider allowing him home unless his risk is lowered. However probation have stated in all there years that they have never lowered someone's risk after there conviction. Which to me only means he will never be allowed home for us to be a family. Weve done everything SS have asked of us, therapy inform program and ive done an assessment to try snd supervise him with our children. Still waiting for ab answer on that as children sre on child protection plan.
Everyone keeps saying it cant go on forever, I've said i want him home but social gave me the impression that cant happen and theyd end up taking us to PLO to move things forward. Please does anyone have any experience of partner being allowed home or any advice on how to deal with Ss.
Im really scared
Hey
Sorry nobody has replied to you.
It is possible to get your other half home. Have you both done any courses or anything. You need to be able to show you know how to spot the signs if anything were to happen again. There's loads on here that's managed to get their person back home and some have said it's been better with a assessment done. I told SS from day one the end result would be for him to come home. We've managed it 4 months after sentencing through a phased return it would of started quicker but our SW messed about then up and left so we've had to wait for some to take over we're now on the verge of having case closed. So it can definitely happen x
Sorry nobody has replied to you.
It is possible to get your other half home. Have you both done any courses or anything. You need to be able to show you know how to spot the signs if anything were to happen again. There's loads on here that's managed to get their person back home and some have said it's been better with a assessment done. I told SS from day one the end result would be for him to come home. We've managed it 4 months after sentencing through a phased return it would of started quicker but our SW messed about then up and left so we've had to wait for some to take over we're now on the verge of having case closed. So it can definitely happen x
Ive done the inform program, partner is finishing off work eith probation and also doing the inform plus in june. Hes on the waiting list for the aurora project but hes waiting quite a long time for that. Hes been assessed as medium risk but within that band he is low across the board. He's already been told his risk will never change from medium with probation so not sure what else we can do really. Feel like we should be so much further along than we are. He's coming to the end of his sentence in October and yet theres been no conversation about ending things or even downgrading our plan. Feel like it will never end
Have you done pants for the children. My children are toddlers. I've done pants with the oldest they know about appropriate places to touch and who to talk to if they are concerned about anything. The aurora project is a long wait but worth it my oh waited 16 months for a place. I'd ask them what they would like you to do to get the ball rolling. I just wondered do you have girls? We were basically told if we had female children a return home probably wouldn't of happened.
I have read into pants but my daughter isn't of the age to understand this yet as shes not even 3. I have a boy and a girl(eldest). We have both asked SS what wecan do and all they say is oh continue work with probation and that's it. They haven't given clear answers as to how move forward. Nearly 3 years down the line and its still just keep doing what your doing which isn't getting us anywhere. I have done inform for education and understanding which has helped.
My son wasn't even convicted, went NFA and I'm finding it difficult to bring him home. Social Services are a horrid and corrupt.
My oldest is now 4 I showed him from around 2.5/3 onwards just every now and again. At least if she's shown you can say you've started doing pants work with her.is she at nursery? Get them to help aswell. Our nursery have been very judgemental I think they would be happy if we was on a cin plan until he leaves. Maybe write on the made discussion page there's some still on here that have managed to get other half home and maybe more help than me as I've just winged it and pushed for everything as best as I can others may have better ways
Hi
I don't think it is right that your partner will always stay medium risk in probation report. You should ask them what you could do to lower the risk. My partner was medium risk before but once we got married, he had a stable job and a friend circle etc the risk level went to low as They consider all these factors while accessing the risk.
Have you tried asking SS for a specialist assessment. Ss are not trained enough to do assessment in sexual offenses and a physiological assessment done by specialist is always good.
I don't think it is right that your partner will always stay medium risk in probation report. You should ask them what you could do to lower the risk. My partner was medium risk before but once we got married, he had a stable job and a friend circle etc the risk level went to low as They consider all these factors while accessing the risk.
Have you tried asking SS for a specialist assessment. Ss are not trained enough to do assessment in sexual offenses and a physiological assessment done by specialist is always good.
I was thinking have you spoken to probation and visor about what they think to him coming home. Ours have encouraged it. It might be worth speaking to them and see if they can work with you to get the ball rolling
I'm still trying to understand the risk assessments done by probation.
If it is the OASys report they are using then there are static and dynamic risk factors. They dynamic risk factors allow for the risk rating to be highered or lowered. Re assessment is part of this. If they never lower the risk level I'd question the effectiveness of their plan.
This document is helpful.
https://www.justiceinspectorates.gov.uk/hmiprobation/research/the-evidence-base-probation/supervision-of-service-users/assessment/
I don't know about any other other risk assessments used unfortunately.
If it is the OASys report they are using then there are static and dynamic risk factors. They dynamic risk factors allow for the risk rating to be highered or lowered. Re assessment is part of this. If they never lower the risk level I'd question the effectiveness of their plan.
This document is helpful.
https://www.justiceinspectorates.gov.uk/hmiprobation/research/the-evidence-base-probation/supervision-of-service-users/assessment/
I don't know about any other other risk assessments used unfortunately.
Someone mentioned a specialist risk assessment. Done names I've heard on this forum for recommendations are Steve Lowe and Victoria Appleyard.
Hes had a psychological assessment done a year ago by a Dr Parsons which was challenged and got no response from. It came back as medium risk but when he got a second opinion from a psychologist from the aurora project they said the guy used completely the wrong tools abd software to the point he made unfound claims with no evidence to back it up with. But SS jumped on that and have used it since without updating any reports with new evidence. He will have an assessment done at the end of probation i believe but i thought it odd when she said you dont change risk level just go up and down in that band. He is low across the medium band apparently the only chance it can change is when mosovo (police) take over and assess him. But hes been told you dont change risk when your convicted.
As part of his work with probation they ask him what he wants the outcome to be but unfortunately hes just had to change probation officer which has messed things up for him . All probation seem to imply is that they wont challenge ss so it puts us in a crap position. Being in limbo for such along time isn't helpful to anyone especially not my children. Long term it will effect there mental health so it needs to change. But it goes back to them keep saying it can't go on forever and its unusual for a case to go on aslong as ours has. But that doesn't get us anywhere.
As part of his work with probation they ask him what he wants the outcome to be but unfortunately hes just had to change probation officer which has messed things up for him . All probation seem to imply is that they wont challenge ss so it puts us in a crap position. Being in limbo for such along time isn't helpful to anyone especially not my children. Long term it will effect there mental health so it needs to change. But it goes back to them keep saying it can't go on forever and its unusual for a case to go on aslong as ours has. But that doesn't get us anywhere.
It might be best to get the email address for your sw manager and email them saying you want to start a phased return home that you have been working alongside ss for said amount of years and that any help they can give you would be appreciated that you have spoken to your sw several times about this but nothing as been done to start the process
Hi scaredandconfused
Ive had to launch an official complaint and so has our chair. As I've emailed the sw's manager several times with no response what so ever. The chair has had to go to her boss for advise as shes flabbergasted with there behaviour. So im hoping that might change things
Ive had to launch an official complaint and so has our chair. As I've emailed the sw's manager several times with no response what so ever. The chair has had to go to her boss for advise as shes flabbergasted with there behaviour. So im hoping that might change things