Stepson returning to our home
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Hi just wanting some support.3 weeks ago my 16 year old stepson was arrested for downloading indecent images of 10-15 year olds which has shocked all of the 2 families.
My husband initially helped take & pick up his son from school & spent time with him at his Mums home
Tomorrow my stepson will return to our house & myself & 23 year old daughter have mixed feelings.No idea how to talk to him & we never spend much time with him because he's always in his room.Husband wants normality back but nothing will ever be the same
There is a social worker & my stepson will be doing a course with Stop it now.
What can I do to keep positive & realistic?
Thanks
My husband initially helped take & pick up his son from school & spent time with him at his Mums home
Tomorrow my stepson will return to our house & myself & 23 year old daughter have mixed feelings.No idea how to talk to him & we never spend much time with him because he's always in his room.Husband wants normality back but nothing will ever be the same
There is a social worker & my stepson will be doing a course with Stop it now.
What can I do to keep positive & realistic?
Thanks
It might take a bit of time, but things will return to normal. He's still the person you knew before. He's just done a bad thing.
I can understand how unsettling this is for you. Its good to hear he is taking steps to address his issues. He is only 16 this shouldnt define the rest of his life. Hes done a bad thing this doesnt make him a bad person. The reoffending rate for this type of crime is very low, I would imagine those who do best have supportive friends and family and are willing to address their actions through therapy. I wish you all well.
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Thank you both for replying.I am lucky to have a lovely supportive husband,2 grown up children & a friend.Just struggling with my thoughts early in the morning & waves of depression.I have had depression & anxiety so not surprisingly this has set me down that road.I have had cbt & counselling in the past.I am on anti depresssants & I'm considering going back to counselling because I want to continue coping with work & home
My stepson is very concerned that he will be stigmatised so as far as I know hasn't talked to friends & there's only his Mum,stepdad & grandparents that know aswell as this side of the family.
My stepson is very concerned that he will be stigmatised so as far as I know hasn't talked to friends & there's only his Mum,stepdad & grandparents that know aswell as this side of the family.
I am sorry that you find yourself in this position.
Have you thought about ringing the helpline to talk over how you are feeling ? The helpline have spoken to many families in the same situation you find yourself in. It is really positive that your stepson is working with the charity, it sounds like he will be doing the Young Person inform course which will help him understand why this has happened and help him move forward.
Take care and look after yourself .
Have you thought about ringing the helpline to talk over how you are feeling ? The helpline have spoken to many families in the same situation you find yourself in. It is really positive that your stepson is working with the charity, it sounds like he will be doing the Young Person inform course which will help him understand why this has happened and help him move forward.
Take care and look after yourself .
It's really hard. Some days the crime is bigger than my person. But it's not every day.
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Nothing will ever be the same it will be different but that doesn't mean unhappy. As others have said they are the same person they made a bad choice. The fact that he is working on himself should be applauded and his offence should never define him. Knowing he is loved and supported is vital for him. You rebalancing as a family is vital for all of you.
I strongly believe that risks associated with online content need to be addressed through education in schools and colleges, much the same as consent is now being discussed.
xx
I strongly believe that risks associated with online content need to be addressed through education in schools and colleges, much the same as consent is now being discussed.
xx
Please reassure your stepson that this does not define him in anyway, and that there is help and support and he can move forwards and have a happy productive life. the shame and stigma is horrendous to witness. I wish things had come to light for my son years earlier when he was still a child. maybe this can be the *thing* that opens up your relationship with him . Also, knowledge is essential, inform and educate - because I sadly now have so much knowledge and understanding around the subject. He needs secure support and protection, the rest 8f the world won't care about circumstances,nuances, a S.O is a S.O. xx
Thanks everyone.There has been no further update from the police & I am still not wanting my stepson here.I spoke to him the first night he was back but was full of anxiety after & just want to avoid him.Every time myself & my daughter talk to his Dad about how we feel he gets very upset & wants everything back to normal
I have spoken to the helpline & it went ok.I just feel stuck & sometimes when busy or having fun I forget.As they say time is a healer & I need to be patient
I have spoken to the helpline & it went ok.I just feel stuck & sometimes when busy or having fun I forget.As they say time is a healer & I need to be patient