Family and Friends Forum

Hi all,

I'm currently not with my person. He was my true love and I have been completely blindsided and the pain, devastation and betrayal I feel has broken me. So I'm trying to tape myself back together on my own.

He has his 3 month bail review thing at the custody suite on Wednesday. I'm not going, I think his dad is going with him. Obviously I knew this was coming up, it's not a surprise however I am finding it so stressful and scary and just an awful reminder about how my life well apart.

Realistically I know not much will happen, I'm expecting his bail conditions to be extended but I just can't help but be a complete wreak.

Blue Sky, I would love to be able to support him. Unfortunately my person has been in denial and hasn't acknowledged me before nor after the knock. I think this has made the feelings of devastation worse so I've told him until he works on himself and can be honest with me, I'm going to look after myself.

How long can bail conditions be extended for?

Lee, he's been offending for years and lied to me. I understand that's how it happens. I had no idea he was even watching porn, let alone anything more.

Since the knock, he lost his job through this and has gone to live with his dad. He seems to think that he was taken by police and they left the house. I've told him they searched for over 3 hours and what happened to me but he refuses to acknowledge that. I know he doesn't have a job but I have no financial support from him either so I'm struggling to pay for everything myself. When I say he doesn't acknowledge me, he seems to think his world has fallen apart and I'm completely fine and carried on as though nothing has happened and he takes no responsibility for what's happened. I'm very angry.

My mum is amazing! I'm so surprised as we weren't close before this. It's my extended family, aunts and uncles and all that. They were contacted by the safeguarding unit as they have young children with no warning so they've made their own judgements unfortunately.

I phone the helpline and am half way through inform which has been amazing. I would have survived without Lucy Faithfull.

Work have been great, and I've spoken to the gp. I have medication now. I'm waiting to get mental health support for potential ptsd but that takes a while. I can't afford anything private at the moment but I've been recommended getselfhelp.co.uk and the topics for ptsd, flashbacks, panic and self help for distress so I've got things to read.

I do have support but it's just a long process and I'm so confused in my feelings. I don't feel like I've been dropped by the tornado yet.

Thanks so much for your help and advice. I forgot to mention talking forward, I've done one session with them already but I will absolutely look at the other one.

Thanks again xx