Sentencing tomorrow....
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Hi all
So 2 years and 28 days after the knock and my person is at magistrates Court tomorrow. He attended in March and it got adjourned for a pre sentencing report by probation.
I'm working from home today. I can't concentrate on anything. Anxiety has been increasing over the last 2 days and today its just awful.
Pre sentencing report suggested community order of unpaid work and rehabilitation courses. The PSR was very detailed and well written and solicitor was pleased with it and doesn't think my person will get a custodial sentence. He did however suggest he took a bag with him because you never know.
It's just in the back of my mind, what if he doesn't come home. The way I'm feeling today is that I feel I'm going to be hit with another 'knock' trauma. All those feelings I experienced 2 years ago, am I going to be hit with them again tomorrow? I'm feeling so scared.
I'm not attending court. I don't think my mental health can take it. There have been so many traumatic bumps along this horrible road, I just can't deal with another one. My person totally understands. My dad and a close family friend are attending with him so he isn't on his own.
Not really sure what the point of this post is. I just needed to tell someone how I'm feeling.
So 2 years and 28 days after the knock and my person is at magistrates Court tomorrow. He attended in March and it got adjourned for a pre sentencing report by probation.
I'm working from home today. I can't concentrate on anything. Anxiety has been increasing over the last 2 days and today its just awful.
Pre sentencing report suggested community order of unpaid work and rehabilitation courses. The PSR was very detailed and well written and solicitor was pleased with it and doesn't think my person will get a custodial sentence. He did however suggest he took a bag with him because you never know.
It's just in the back of my mind, what if he doesn't come home. The way I'm feeling today is that I feel I'm going to be hit with another 'knock' trauma. All those feelings I experienced 2 years ago, am I going to be hit with them again tomorrow? I'm feeling so scared.
I'm not attending court. I don't think my mental health can take it. There have been so many traumatic bumps along this horrible road, I just can't deal with another one. My person totally understands. My dad and a close family friend are attending with him so he isn't on his own.
Not really sure what the point of this post is. I just needed to tell someone how I'm feeling.
Sorry to hear about your anxiety. Good to hear that the PSR seems positive.
Hope the next 48 hours or so is as painless as possible for you.
I will be thinking of you
x
Hope the next 48 hours or so is as painless as possible for you.
I will be thinking of you
x
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Thank you ladies. I just feel that luck is not on my side. So much s**t has been thrown my way over the last few years on top of this situation. I know I'm feeling negative but I can't help it. I'm just fed up living this disjointed, restricted life. I just pray for a good outcome tomorrow otherwise I don't know what I'll do.
Parker sorry you didn't get the outcome you thought. I can see how it took the pressure off though x
Hold out lovely.
My persons PSR was listened too and the judge went with every recommendation on there.
Stay fiathful, thinking of you tomorrow xx
My persons PSR was listened too and the judge went with every recommendation on there.
Stay fiathful, thinking of you tomorrow xx
Thanks gardener. Theres a lot of mitigating circumstances in the PSR so I really hope it makes a difference.
Ideal situation is that he gets what PSR has suggested, no press in the court room and we can start moving forward with fixing our marriage which has been on hold for 2 years.
Thank god for this forum. X
Ideal situation is that he gets what PSR has suggested, no press in the court room and we can start moving forward with fixing our marriage which has been on hold for 2 years.
Thank god for this forum. X
Hi,
Hoping for the best outcome for you tomorrow. Love and strength xxx
Hoping for the best outcome for you tomorrow. Love and strength xxx
Hi Lois, can I ask what the mitigating circumstances are on the PSR? Some things I've read are classed as mitigating but then I read something else that says the same things are aggravating circumstances:( xx
Lois,
Good luck for tomorrow, I will keep you in my thoughts.
What you said about luck resonated with me, I've had nothing but crap after crap but it didn't end up being a bad luck streak. I hope the same for you and sending lots of cyber luck to you <3
Good luck for tomorrow, I will keep you in my thoughts.
What you said about luck resonated with me, I've had nothing but crap after crap but it didn't end up being a bad luck streak. I hope the same for you and sending lots of cyber luck to you <3
Thank you everyone (insert heart emoji) x
Betty, he was sexually abused by a man as a 7 year old. Kept it quiet for years then saw the person when he was shopping with our daughter when she was little. That triggered a porn addiction and then the offending. He's reported it to the police now. Waiting to hear if anything has come of it. He was also emotionally and physically abused by his grandmother who was his legal guardian and he was a child carer for. He was under care of SS as a child and they picked up none of it. Breaks my heart Doesn't excuse the offending but suggests how his path was taken there.
Wishing you and your person the very best for tomorrow. We stand beside you xxxx
I have no doubt that your person is sorry and is willing to just move forward. Praying no media for you too.x
I have no doubt that your person is sorry and is willing to just move forward. Praying no media for you too.x
Thank you Polly. The media will just finish me off I think. I know it blows over eventually but I'm ashamed of being associated with it. I don't want it to affect my kids or my career which I have almost finished 5 years of study for. (2 years of study through this shit storm!) Don't think I'll ever know how I've kept going!
Thanks Lois, my person was sexually abused by a friend in his early years and then raped by a man one night walking home when he was around 13years old, breaks my heart too, this led him to pyshological distress right through to adult hood and finding his own way of coping with self harm and recreational drugs:(. He always says he could be out one night and the person might see him but he wouldn't know who it was as it was a winter's evening and he got attacked from behind.
He's given all this information to his solicitor and we're hoping it's mitigating circumstances which might explain the path he went down. He's disgusted with himself and working on himself to fully recover from the past and deal with his own wrong doings that got him here.
Everything crossed for the best outcome tomorrow for you xxx
He's given all this information to his solicitor and we're hoping it's mitigating circumstances which might explain the path he went down. He's disgusted with himself and working on himself to fully recover from the past and deal with his own wrong doings that got him here.
Everything crossed for the best outcome tomorrow for you xxx
Fingers crossed for you tomorrow. I remember how surreal it felt for me.
At least by the end of the day tomorrow you'll know what you are working with.
Hope you manage to get some sleep tonight.
At least by the end of the day tomorrow you'll know what you are working with.
Hope you manage to get some sleep tonight.
Just wanted to say that I hope it goes well tomorrow. It's a horrible feeling, my heart goes out to you and I'll be thinking of you xxx
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We are by your side for tomorrow xx
Strength and hugs to you both xx
Strength and hugs to you both xx
Sending strength x Whatever the outcome you 'will' cope. Good luck x
Hoping you get a good result tomorrow
Best of luck and keeping everything crossed for you, hope you manage some sleep Xx
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Lois,
Bless you lovely. Good luck for tomorrow. Keeping all my fingers crossed for the best possible outcome for you and your husband. I'll be thinking of you and I really hope it goes well. I really hope you have an understanding judge who reads everything and takes the PSR into consideration.
Hope you manage to get some rest tonight. xx
Bless you lovely. Good luck for tomorrow. Keeping all my fingers crossed for the best possible outcome for you and your husband. I'll be thinking of you and I really hope it goes well. I really hope you have an understanding judge who reads everything and takes the PSR into consideration.
Hope you manage to get some rest tonight. xx
Thank you everyone. You are all so kind and amazing. We're all hurting in one way or another right now but we all still manage to encourage and support each other even though we're going through something so distressing. So thank you, it really does mean so much. Hugs to you all x x x
Betty,
That is horrendous for your OH and for you as the partner of someone who has been abused in their past. As a partner it truly is heartbreaking hearing how someone you love so much has lived with such trauma for so long. In my person's case, he only told me after the knock. He intended to take it to the grave with him. I completely understand your situation.
It is worth mentioning to your OH solicitor to push for a PSR. That way he'll have a meeting with probation and he can give them lots of information about his past etc which should all be documented for the judge to see and will support any recommendations that the probation service make regarding sentencing.
My heart goes out to you my love. Dealing with the knock and supporting someone who has had childhood trauma is hard. He is lucky to have your support x x x
That is horrendous for your OH and for you as the partner of someone who has been abused in their past. As a partner it truly is heartbreaking hearing how someone you love so much has lived with such trauma for so long. In my person's case, he only told me after the knock. He intended to take it to the grave with him. I completely understand your situation.
It is worth mentioning to your OH solicitor to push for a PSR. That way he'll have a meeting with probation and he can give them lots of information about his past etc which should all be documented for the judge to see and will support any recommendations that the probation service make regarding sentencing.
My heart goes out to you my love. Dealing with the knock and supporting someone who has had childhood trauma is hard. He is lucky to have your support x x x
Polly, thank you. I never thought of it like that. Hopefully future me will be pleased I stuck it out. I've wanted it so bad for so long that I didn't want to give up x x
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Good luck for today and I really hope you get the outcome you need.
Sending you lots of love and strength and standing beside you in spirit xx
Sending you lots of love and strength and standing beside you in spirit xx
Good luck today . Hope everything turns out the best it can for you x
Aww Lois thank you for your reply, my person only spoke of his abuse after the knock too when he started sessions with his therapist. It is truly heartbreaking isn't it and yet we know people will condemn our persons without seeing the whole horrendous story that they too suffered. I don't condone what he's done but I see heartbreak in his eyes. He keeps saying "he did what he did to me and I don't know who he is, he's got away with it, what could I have done"
We will definitely be pushing for a PSR and his therapist has also told us he has done a character reference on how he's progressing with him from day one to now, 14months later.
I am thinking of you today for closure of this awful journey and the best outcome you wish for xxx
We will definitely be pushing for a PSR and his therapist has also told us he has done a character reference on how he's progressing with him from day one to now, 14months later.
I am thinking of you today for closure of this awful journey and the best outcome you wish for xxx
Good luck for today I understand the anxiety I've been there it's horrendous almost like knock all over again wondering if he'd call me or the barrister would. We went through it 3 times due to barrister*hit show . Anyway nig hugs to you ??