Family and Friends Forum

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The first few days/weeks are like living a nightmare ( hence the name) . Please look after yourself first and foremost . Try to eat even if it's just a biscuit here and there . You will go through so many emotions so don't try to make any big decisions now . I'm 8 months in and some days I feel Yes , I'm strong enough to fight for us then on other days I want him out of my life completely and try to gain some semblance of the 'normal' life I once had . But life now isn't as easy as that as we all know on here whatever decision we've made . You are not alone . We are all here for you . Talk as much as you like on here or just silently read the past posts , it really is a big help x

Aardvark, the first few days are hideous, you don't know what to do, think, feel, or say. I found it hard to sleep and eat and to be honest I think I barely functioned. I would get up in the night and go down and cry on the sofa.

I have no advice , all I can say is you will get through it somehow.

It's very traumatic so treat yourself well.

This forum is really helpful in terms of the process and information about what may happen next. I find it also makes me feel less alone as this is something that is hard to disclose to others.

Aardvark,

I'm so sorry you have joined us here. You've done amazing to reach out so soon. Let the dust settle and feel free to rant/ask questions/whatever you need when you are ready. You're not alone xxx

Sorry you have joined this club. As others have said the first few days/weeks are tough and an emotional rollercoaster. You have to look after yourself. Do you have children?

Please be very careful who you tell. Once it's told it can't be untold. I think we've all experienced issues by disclosing to people of our club. You have to know who you can trust.

Please keep posting on the forum. We are all in it together and here to help you.

Calling stop it now helpline is also worth it when you are ready. I'll be thinking of you hun x x x

I applaud your bravery and courage to reach out on day 0. That alone tells me you will be OK. That alone tells me you are strong. Many of us lurk in the shadows for weeks, months, maybe years. Reading but never posting. Commenting but never sharing.. there is you. You can move mountains. I'm sorry it happened to you as it happened to many of us. First few weeks carry the shock, but I promise within 4-6 weeks you are likely to start eating, sleeping and thinking rationally again. Just hold on. And welcome, to the club. You are not alone, no matter what the situation or your decision.

My initial reaction was exactly the same, wow that's impressive being so strong so early. I was a jibbering wreck when my house was full of police at 6am. I wish I had had the insight to get defensive from the get-go, I was better by the end of day 1 but by no means when the police were round. I was the submissive dog lying on its back (metaphorically, our dog was doing it for real for me!)
Well done, you have the right attitude, and as many have said, look after yourself. Don't be surprised if the reaction is delayed and you wake up in a few days and need to cry all day, that is completely normal. It's properly sh!t but you will get through this! X

Its hideous in those early days. I barely functioned but looking back on that first week the things that helped me were getting some fresh air each day (don't lock yourself away in the house), a pacey walk, see a GP and confiding in a very select group of people. So people who will happily do whatever you need. In my case cooking for me as I could barely eat. For sleep I also found the sleep stories on Headspace helped. In those early days its just about one foot in front of each other. In time it will start to ease

Its hideous in those early days. I barely functioned but looking back on that first week the things that helped me were getting some fresh air each day (don't lock yourself away in the house), a pacey walk, see a GP and confiding in a very select group of people. So people who will happily do whatever you need. In my case cooking for me as I could barely eat. For sleep I also found the sleep stories on Headspace helped. In those early days its just about one foot in front of each other. In time it will start to ease

I am so sorry you have found yourself in this awful club.
Please put yourself first and try to take care of yourself.
x

So sorry you have found yourself here, take it hour by hour in these early days. Take care of you you are very important.

I'm not going to say much, just wanted to add my name to the people here for you x