Parent is an offender
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My Dad was arrested 2.5 years ago for downloading IIOC and my world completely fell apart. I feel completely traumatised by it all and my life has never been the same. At the moment I'm struggling on a daily basis. I know with most people on this gorum it's their partner who has offended I just wanted to see if I could connect with anyone who has had a parent comitt this crime and perhaps share ways to cope, resources etc. Thoughts with everyone going through this. Thank you.
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Hi JE
My dad is the offender, he was arrested in 2017 and was sentenced 2019. If you have any questions/support I am always here. I chose to stick by my dad as did my Mum and brother until recently my brother has chose to cut him off recently since his partner finding out.
In regards to coping I have just taken it day by day, and fortunately we have some family who have been very understanding, some not so understanding.
it is very difficult as it isn't something you can talk to people openly about and a lot of people have a lack of understanding but this forum helped me a lot throughout the process (I don't go on it as often as I did) and Lee was the biggest help.
take care of yourself x
My dad is the offender, he was arrested in 2017 and was sentenced 2019. If you have any questions/support I am always here. I chose to stick by my dad as did my Mum and brother until recently my brother has chose to cut him off recently since his partner finding out.
In regards to coping I have just taken it day by day, and fortunately we have some family who have been very understanding, some not so understanding.
it is very difficult as it isn't something you can talk to people openly about and a lot of people have a lack of understanding but this forum helped me a lot throughout the process (I don't go on it as often as I did) and Lee was the biggest help.
take care of yourself x
It's my adult son who's the offender, living with us at the moment and soon we will have to tell his children who he adores (I know his behaviour doesn't sound like he adores his kids but I think/hope some people reading this understand how the two things don't necessarily cancel each other out, especially once you inverstigate the whys and wherefores of the offence).
The kids adore their daddy and the thing that upsets me most of all is that the revelation might spoil that, if not immediately but later....I couldn't bear to see that.
This thread just shows the ripple effect of these crimes which our loved ones have no idea about when they commit them....
Big hug JE and everyone reading this xx
The kids adore their daddy and the thing that upsets me most of all is that the revelation might spoil that, if not immediately but later....I couldn't bear to see that.
This thread just shows the ripple effect of these crimes which our loved ones have no idea about when they commit them....
Big hug JE and everyone reading this xx
My father is the offender. Were 6m down the line now, but i cannot cope with anything most of the time. My life is upside down.
Thanks everyone for your replies.
I'm just in a deep dark hole of depression currently. And I don't know how to get out.
Janey I'm so sorry you're going through this. Feel free to message me.
I'm just in a deep dark hole of depression currently. And I don't know how to get out.
Janey I'm so sorry you're going through this. Feel free to message me.
My dad was arrested over the weekend for sexualised comms with minors. Don't know the extent of it yet but doubt it's good. Massively struggling right now.
Mango I'm so sorry to hear that. Thinking of you and please keep talking to us on here if it helps. It's a hard journey but you are not alone x
Thank you JE. It's honestly just helpful knowing I'm not alone in this. The helpline have been great and I'm going to take a look at the Impact course and Talking Forwards when I've had some time and space to process a bit more. Have you used those resources or are there any others you have found good? Do you still talk to your offending parent? I've always been close to my dad but can't envisage what our relationship will look like moving forwards, which adds to the general sadness.
I haven't actually heard of either of those. What's the impact course? I've just found some information about talking forwards and it looks like it could be a helpful service. I did the inform course through Lucy faithful which I found fairly helpful but everyone else in the group it was their partner who had offended so some things weren't relevant to me. Yes I still talk to him and like you we had always been very close. Unfortunately our relationship has never been the same which makes me sad every day.
Ah it was Inform, which is the one you've done, not Impact. I'm considering doing it but in a while when I'm emotionally more stable. Has your parent done the Impact/Engage Plus course? Did it help?
I've just started listening to the World According To The Knock podcast, which was recommended to me. It's not about a parent offending specifically but is very good.
I've had a busy weekend and am managing to distract myself quite successfully but not sure how I'll be when back to work (off today). I am worried about what might happen to my dad, but that's out of my control. More concerned right now about what our relationship will look like and my parents relationship too - my mum is talking about splitting up with him.
Are your parents still together? How are things between them if so? And are you able to speak to your dad about day to day stuff, or does what he did dominate the whole conversation?
I've just started listening to the World According To The Knock podcast, which was recommended to me. It's not about a parent offending specifically but is very good.
I've had a busy weekend and am managing to distract myself quite successfully but not sure how I'll be when back to work (off today). I am worried about what might happen to my dad, but that's out of my control. More concerned right now about what our relationship will look like and my parents relationship too - my mum is talking about splitting up with him.
Are your parents still together? How are things between them if so? And are you able to speak to your dad about day to day stuff, or does what he did dominate the whole conversation?
My husband is being investigated for sexual conversations with minors. Our son has told me he wants nothing to do with it at all. He's makiing plans to move out and he has told me he will only have contact with his Dad on his terms after he has moved out. A lot more has come to light than just the communication offences and I can understand why my son feels the way he does. Father and son don't have any real conversation and unfortunately my son has lost all respect for his Dad, I don't think they will ever repair their relationship. Which is very sad but it is a very real consequence of this type of situation.