Ex becoming difficult to deal with
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Hi everyone,
I've not posted in a while but I left my ex partner and started fresh with my little one.
He sees her once/twice a week, I've always said he can see her when he wants. He is supervised, no personal care.
Yesterday we had an argument because he's got in to a new relationship without telling me. He's now telling me that I'm lying about what SS have said to me and that I'm restricting what he can and can't do with our little one. He says what I've told him (only me to supervise, no personal care) are lies and he wants his rights to our daughter written down by SS. Our case was closed in October because I had left him.
He's called SS today to get his 'rights to our daughter' written down. I've told him they'll tell him what I've told him. They never did give me anything with what he is and isn't allowed to do, but I've followed everything they've told me. Surely this will not reopen the case because he's asking questions? I've finally got over this period of my life and I can't do it again.
He's also gaslighting me quite a lot. I think if SS call me it's time for a contact centre.
I've not posted in a while but I left my ex partner and started fresh with my little one.
He sees her once/twice a week, I've always said he can see her when he wants. He is supervised, no personal care.
Yesterday we had an argument because he's got in to a new relationship without telling me. He's now telling me that I'm lying about what SS have said to me and that I'm restricting what he can and can't do with our little one. He says what I've told him (only me to supervise, no personal care) are lies and he wants his rights to our daughter written down by SS. Our case was closed in October because I had left him.
He's called SS today to get his 'rights to our daughter' written down. I've told him they'll tell him what I've told him. They never did give me anything with what he is and isn't allowed to do, but I've followed everything they've told me. Surely this will not reopen the case because he's asking questions? I've finally got over this period of my life and I can't do it again.
He's also gaslighting me quite a lot. I think if SS call me it's time for a contact centre.
Purple rain I have no expertise in this area but my gut reaction to your post is that him getting angry and demanding about his rights with regard to his children is unlikely to endear him to anyone, least of all social services.
Yes exactly Bitterbean. It's only taken him 9 months and a new relationship to suddenly be bothered about these 'rights'.
I have an ex from hell...
Play hard. Get him to go through court, get social services
and Maybe ask if his new person knows about the offence....
but the scary thing here is why he really wants to do personal care... throw that at him. Why not just enjoy the time with the child doing fun stuff?
Contact centres may be the best option and get him to pay
Play hard. Get him to go through court, get social services
and Maybe ask if his new person knows about the offence....
but the scary thing here is why he really wants to do personal care... throw that at him. Why not just enjoy the time with the child doing fun stuff?
Contact centres may be the best option and get him to pay
His threats are pathetic. He won't endear himself to social services with his attitude. They will have none of it. You are in control about whether he can see you child at home supervised or at a contact centre. He doesn't really have a choice!
Thanks for the replies!
Well, he called them, demanding his rights in writing, they told him he'll have to go through court which he definitely won't do.
He came to see our daughter yesterday nice as pie.
Apparently his new person knows about the offence, I'm not 100% sure though! Have to take his word for it. I'm not particularly interested anymore, just want him to get on with his life and me with mine! X
Well, he called them, demanding his rights in writing, they told him he'll have to go through court which he definitely won't do.
He came to see our daughter yesterday nice as pie.
Apparently his new person knows about the offence, I'm not 100% sure though! Have to take his word for it. I'm not particularly interested anymore, just want him to get on with his life and me with mine! X
I understand the gaslighting thing. Have lived it. My only advice, which is hard, is to understand and fully BELIEVE in your own truth. Don't second guess yourself. Decide on it and live it. You can only come out of the other side stronger.
And, because my first instinct is not to sugar coat but I often try to but am naturally quite blunt, he's talking out of his arse and we both/all know it. Stick to your guns. Call him out!! And know, whatever comes back at you, you're in the right and he's just posturing because he has someone who is saying oh woe is you, this is so unreasonable etc etc - sigh.
As in the penguins on Madagascar, smile and wave...
And, because my first instinct is not to sugar coat but I often try to but am naturally quite blunt, he's talking out of his arse and we both/all know it. Stick to your guns. Call him out!! And know, whatever comes back at you, you're in the right and he's just posturing because he has someone who is saying oh woe is you, this is so unreasonable etc etc - sigh.
As in the penguins on Madagascar, smile and wave...