Counselling
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Hi everyone.
I am currently thinking about getting some counselling for myself. I have read that some have, how did you go about organising it.
Looking at the hourly rate I'm just wondering how many sessions I would be able to afford.
Any advice would be appreciated.
Thank you Mata x
I am currently thinking about getting some counselling for myself. I have read that some have, how did you go about organising it.
Looking at the hourly rate I'm just wondering how many sessions I would be able to afford.
Any advice would be appreciated.
Thank you Mata x
Hi Mata
I have got my counselling through my GP, I had to wait a few weeks before I could start it and it's through relate.
I'm finding it really good although she's really making me think not just about what has happened but my marriage as well, it's not very comfortable and I'm feeling a bit of a doormat but I know it's true!!
I had counselling last year through my work but didn't get on with that at all, I didn't click with her and felt she was quite judgemental.
I do have a problem though, I didn't catch her name and I'm now 4th one in, I can't ask her now can I!!!
Please try your GP, honestly the counselling, if your get a good one, is fantastic and should help you sort your head a little
Take care and good luck xx
I have got my counselling through my GP, I had to wait a few weeks before I could start it and it's through relate.
I'm finding it really good although she's really making me think not just about what has happened but my marriage as well, it's not very comfortable and I'm feeling a bit of a doormat but I know it's true!!
I had counselling last year through my work but didn't get on with that at all, I didn't click with her and felt she was quite judgemental.
I do have a problem though, I didn't catch her name and I'm now 4th one in, I can't ask her now can I!!!
Please try your GP, honestly the counselling, if your get a good one, is fantastic and should help you sort your head a little
Take care and good luck xx
Tracey, make out its just a recent memory thing and ask her her name again. My own memory is so all over the place I keep calling my poor daughter by the dog's name. I'm sure she thinks I have dementia! Just blame it on recent events
MandyW, I'm so glad you said about the memory thing - mine is exactly the same. I heard someone (can't remember who - lol) liken our minds to a smartphone; they only have a certain about of space, so you can only store so much and the more apps you have running, the slower things go. The same for us - our minds are being used for so much that things like names disappear and thinks take longer to process.
Mata, I definitely think counselling is a good idea, and my one piece of advice would be to speak with a few counsellors until you find the right one for you. I started seeing a counsellor who, it turns out, just wasn't right for me - she was quite judgemental and made me feel ashamed of talking about my situation, which is absolutely what you don't want, so make sure you speak to a few professionals, outline your situation and find the right person for you.
Good luck xx
Mata, I definitely think counselling is a good idea, and my one piece of advice would be to speak with a few counsellors until you find the right one for you. I started seeing a counsellor who, it turns out, just wasn't right for me - she was quite judgemental and made me feel ashamed of talking about my situation, which is absolutely what you don't want, so make sure you speak to a few professionals, outline your situation and find the right person for you.
Good luck xx
Thank you for your replies...
I have made an appointment with my GP (who knows my situation) and will ask about what counselling she can offer me.
My emotions are totally all over the place atm (probably doesn't help with being my time of the month) but no day is the same. One day I can see myself telling him its all over and the next we are getting on with things. That's what I'm finding hard to deal with, on one hand it's not fair on either of us but on the other I didn't ask for this.
Thanks again xx
I have made an appointment with my GP (who knows my situation) and will ask about what counselling she can offer me.
My emotions are totally all over the place atm (probably doesn't help with being my time of the month) but no day is the same. One day I can see myself telling him its all over and the next we are getting on with things. That's what I'm finding hard to deal with, on one hand it's not fair on either of us but on the other I didn't ask for this.
Thanks again xx
Hi all
Its good to know you can get counselling. My work got an Occupational Health Therapist to ring me, she’s lovely.
The last I told my dr was that my husband had left me back at the end of 2016. Prior to knowing about his affair, let alone the rest.
I’ve got an appointment this Friday, but have no idea where to start.
i hope it goes well for you.
Sillyac
Its good to know you can get counselling. My work got an Occupational Health Therapist to ring me, she’s lovely.
The last I told my dr was that my husband had left me back at the end of 2016. Prior to knowing about his affair, let alone the rest.
I’ve got an appointment this Friday, but have no idea where to start.
i hope it goes well for you.
Sillyac
I had counselling through my GP. Didn’t have to wait long. It was helpful and she told me of the increase in referrals of women in similar circumstances.
Hi all....So I had my drs appointment this morning which I’ve been dreading. Anyway, he asked what was up and I said a couple things. Couple health things and the obvious. He said “Well, we’ve only got 10 minutes and won’t be able to cover it all” that was that, no more mention!
Has anyone done a self referral through the NHS?
I cannot afford to go privately.
I came away from the drs feeling worse than I went in, which says a lot. It takes a lot of bloody thought to get through the day doesn’t it. Trying to think of and remember all the things that need doing and all effort to not let thinking about your situation take over...
Reading all of your comments/advice really helps, thank you.
The last few weeks have been the toughest yet & I just want to know the outcome with CPS. Are the majority of cases IIOC on here? If people don’t mind me asking...
Has anyone done a self referral through the NHS?
I cannot afford to go privately.
I came away from the drs feeling worse than I went in, which says a lot. It takes a lot of bloody thought to get through the day doesn’t it. Trying to think of and remember all the things that need doing and all effort to not let thinking about your situation take over...
Reading all of your comments/advice really helps, thank you.
The last few weeks have been the toughest yet & I just want to know the outcome with CPS. Are the majority of cases IIOC on here? If people don’t mind me asking...
Hi
again, I think it's one of those situations where it varies greatly from town to town. My GP referred me to a local mental health helpline who were only able to offer me counselling for the abuse I received from my father as a child (they work with a number of specialist orgs/charities to deliver the counselling). With hindsight, I wish I'd taken it and spoken about my current situation whilst there, but unfortunately, I didn't think of it at the time.
I am going to try 'Relate' who actually provided me with the counselling I needed in my twenties for my experience with abuse. I'm not sure how it works now, but at that time they operated on a donations basis, whereby you paid what you could afford.
Meantime, I'm practising lots of self-care, even the small things like a bubble bath and music can make all the difference and I will make sure I get counselling at the earliest opportunity when finances become available.
Sending love and positivity and anything else to help with the healing process.
again, I think it's one of those situations where it varies greatly from town to town. My GP referred me to a local mental health helpline who were only able to offer me counselling for the abuse I received from my father as a child (they work with a number of specialist orgs/charities to deliver the counselling). With hindsight, I wish I'd taken it and spoken about my current situation whilst there, but unfortunately, I didn't think of it at the time.
I am going to try 'Relate' who actually provided me with the counselling I needed in my twenties for my experience with abuse. I'm not sure how it works now, but at that time they operated on a donations basis, whereby you paid what you could afford.
Meantime, I'm practising lots of self-care, even the small things like a bubble bath and music can make all the difference and I will make sure I get counselling at the earliest opportunity when finances become available.
Sending love and positivity and anything else to help with the healing process.
Hi Crystal,
Thank you for your reply. You’re right about the little things to make yourself feel better and relax...
my children keep me going, but I get some days where I cannot seem to switch my mind off.
sillyac x
Thank you for your reply. You’re right about the little things to make yourself feel better and relax...
my children keep me going, but I get some days where I cannot seem to switch my mind off.
sillyac x
That's an appalling way for a doctor to act, I'm really lucky mine is so lovely and understanding, he makes me see him every few weeks so he can keep an eye on me. He's just the best, I wish you had that experience too!
Could you not see a different GP within the practice and when booking the appointment tell them you need a double one.
It's really unfair that you're not getting the help you need but please don't give up.
My story is around IIOC unfortunately and my husband is now residing at her majesty's pleasure! I went to a so near the prison he's in yesterday, it didn't even occur to me until I saw the signs for the prison, that made me feel peculiar, I hate the thought of him being in the even though I don't love him, who he really is but I do feel sorry for him, who I thought he was of that makes sense!
Xx
Could you not see a different GP within the practice and when booking the appointment tell them you need a double one.
It's really unfair that you're not getting the help you need but please don't give up.
My story is around IIOC unfortunately and my husband is now residing at her majesty's pleasure! I went to a so near the prison he's in yesterday, it didn't even occur to me until I saw the signs for the prison, that made me feel peculiar, I hate the thought of him being in the even though I don't love him, who he really is but I do feel sorry for him, who I thought he was of that makes sense!
Xx
Hi
my GP has been brilliant - so sorry yours hasn’t. Yes, my partner is for suspicion of IIOC.
I got some nhs counselling - but only on phone and for 5 weeks. Was CBT - sort of helpful but not exactly what Ineeded. Made worse because I told SS I was doing it and even tho they saw it as positive, they then checked up I was actually doing it. As soon as they did that I started to withdraw from it and just did the sessions so I could tick a box for SS. Luckily got some counselling sessions thro work and they have been good. The sessions don’t concentrate on what he has been accused of as I feel like I have quite a strong grip on “why” but I have been revisiting my life and looking at myself at lot more. My counsellor is really non judgemental and it feels good to talk to someone who doesn’t have a vested interest in the outcome. I haven’t told SS I am doing this counselling because every single area of my life is under scrutiny and I need this just for myself
my GP has been brilliant - so sorry yours hasn’t. Yes, my partner is for suspicion of IIOC.
I got some nhs counselling - but only on phone and for 5 weeks. Was CBT - sort of helpful but not exactly what Ineeded. Made worse because I told SS I was doing it and even tho they saw it as positive, they then checked up I was actually doing it. As soon as they did that I started to withdraw from it and just did the sessions so I could tick a box for SS. Luckily got some counselling sessions thro work and they have been good. The sessions don’t concentrate on what he has been accused of as I feel like I have quite a strong grip on “why” but I have been revisiting my life and looking at myself at lot more. My counsellor is really non judgemental and it feels good to talk to someone who doesn’t have a vested interest in the outcome. I haven’t told SS I am doing this counselling because every single area of my life is under scrutiny and I need this just for myself
Hi
Thank you all. I think I’m going to ring again tomorrow for another appointment with a specific dr. I was in shock when I left to be honest...
There’s always so much to think about and I don’t know about anyone else, but melt memory has become awful! I just want this dark cloud to shift.
I’ve got another appointment with CAB this week with regards to my children, but being in limbo is so stressful.
Yesterday afternoon and this afternoon have been better days, but I’m happy at home which isn’t the best solution.
Am already starting to feel anxious about work tomorrow, but am usually busy, so hoping the day passes reasonably quickly...
Thank you all again ???? this site really is so helpful
Sillyac x
Thank you all. I think I’m going to ring again tomorrow for another appointment with a specific dr. I was in shock when I left to be honest...
There’s always so much to think about and I don’t know about anyone else, but melt memory has become awful! I just want this dark cloud to shift.
I’ve got another appointment with CAB this week with regards to my children, but being in limbo is so stressful.
Yesterday afternoon and this afternoon have been better days, but I’m happy at home which isn’t the best solution.
Am already starting to feel anxious about work tomorrow, but am usually busy, so hoping the day passes reasonably quickly...
Thank you all again ???? this site really is so helpful
Sillyac x