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Having a bad day!

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LilyRose84

Member since
October 2022

77 posts

Posted Fri May 12, 2023 8:44pmReport post

Hey everyone! Hope you're all doing okay. I haven't been on for a while as although it's my sanctuary at times i also find sometimes it starts to take over when I start reading all the discussions.



Anyway, having a bad day and me and my OH have had another huge row, (tends to happen every couple of weeks now) and he's stormed off like a child back to his moms. He just can't seem to understand how hard this is for me, the pressure to work, look after 3 children, a dog and run the house all while pretending everything is ok and lying to people I work with and some of my closest friends and family.



I don't want to sound selfish and childish but I feel so sorry for myself at times. It's not fair that I'm left here holding everything together, I was so happy and looking forward to a happy ever after and it's just all gone up in smoke.

Dawn14

Member since
June 2021

472 posts

Posted Fri May 12, 2023 9:00pmReport post

Hi,

First of all, u r NOT being selfish or childish love, our oh really don't understand how hard it is on us, so DO NOT feel bad at all he needs to realise how hard it is xx



Sending u love and hugs xx

Upset mum

Member since
June 2020

2396 posts

Posted Fri May 12, 2023 9:10pmReport post

You are definitely not been selfish

He may stomp off but he needs to understand you are here because of his actions

He is fortunate to have you in his life and so he should be so please dont put this on anything you have done xx

Parkerpoo1

Member since
July 2022

252 posts

Posted Fri May 12, 2023 9:54pmReport post

Post deleted


Edited Thu December 21, 2023 10:08am

Anxious mummy

Member since
February 2023

99 posts

Posted Fri May 12, 2023 10:01pmReport post

Your feelings are totally normal. Trying to

hold our world together because of their mistake is the hardest thing ever. He has no right to be in a sulk with you. It was his actions that led to this awful situation. You are doing an amazing job x

LilyRose84

Member since
October 2022

77 posts

Posted Fri May 12, 2023 10:22pmReport post

Thank you everyone for your kind words ??
my mom is the only person who knows what's happened and she has said exactly the same thing.
I wouldn't be in this position if it wasn't for his actions and he is lucky I'm even trying to support him.
I do think I have to start to put myself first otherwise I will be no good for the kids and they're my priority.
We're still waiting for 2nd interview, it's been 8 months of this living nightmare since the knock. Hopefully it'll be better when I know exactly what I'm up against x

Smile through tears

Member since
September 2021

2546 posts

Posted Sat May 13, 2023 5:36amReport post

Bless - I can fully see and understand your hardships LilyRose. - yes it's an emotional ordeal but practical and day to day stuff are even harder to cope with too.

I feel sometimes my son has the easy part, although no fun in prison all the practical things are took care of. He's fed and watered with no financial demands or having to face people.

Weve been thrust into a difficult family situation, continue to work - pay bills and deal with everyday things, which as you say is damn hard going at times.

yes indeed - our love is always there - but we've a damn right to be angry! Famous last words too - we are innocent......

Edited Sat May 13, 2023 5:38am

K4

Member since
October 2022

610 posts

Posted Sat May 13, 2023 7:29amReport post

LilyRose!



I hear you completely! I wish I had married some of the women on this forum. We keep EVERYTHING together, run all the errands and have to pretend that nothing is wrong. We are incredible.



whereas my OH is effectively a bachelor now - can't be unsupervised with his kids so very few parenting responsibilities, has moved out to his own flat, new job etc so doesn't have to face up to people he knew before.



(He does feel awful, and does whatever he can to support me)



it is just so EXHAUSTING and ANGERING.



so, if things don't work out after all this is over, and anyone fancies a wife, please let me know. We can conquer the world together.



ps I'm straight, but I don't think many of us can cope with sex anymore anyway, so don't think it's a deal breaker

Smile through tears

Member since
September 2021

2546 posts

Posted Sat May 13, 2023 8:08amReport post

Love it K4!!!!!!

I think having a cat or dog would be easier at least they don't spend hours on line and getting themselves into all sorts of trouble!!!!!!

now I'm having visions of a cat tapping away on a keyboard!!!!! :-)

Edited Sat May 13, 2023 8:26am

K4

Member since
October 2022

610 posts

Posted Sat May 13, 2023 8:38amReport post

If I can't find a wife, a dog will be my next call - excellent advice, thank you.



Worst part is picking up their literal shit, rather than the metaphorical shit we have been dumped with!! Much more manageable



x

Blue Sky

Member since
February 2023

205 posts

Posted Sat May 13, 2023 8:45amReport post

Post deleted


Edited Fri January 12, 2024 4:16pm

Smile through tears

Member since
September 2021

2546 posts

Posted Sat May 13, 2023 9:10amReport post

Give me a pooper scooper and a plastic bag anything must be an easier option to the kind of 'S' we are dealing with!!!!!!

Edited Sat May 13, 2023 9:12am

K4

Member since
October 2022

610 posts

Posted Sat May 13, 2023 9:28amReport post

Blue sky; can I add you to the future wife list??



smile - bless you for not swearing! Maybe we will meet up for dog walk??

x

Upset mum

Member since
June 2020

2396 posts

Posted Sat May 13, 2023 11:32amReport post

K4

Your comments did make me chuckle thank you lol x

Bitterbean

Member since
December 2021

634 posts

Posted Sun May 14, 2023 7:34pmReport post

I've been reading this post and the one from Parkerpoo1 and her other half's pity party. It seems to follow a pattern of behaviour I seen in my partner too of simply failing to see most of the time how awful the impact of what they have done is to partners and family members. And when you point it out to them the thrust of the response is "well it's even worse for me". Oh really.

I'm fortunate that I haven't had to take sole care of small children, but I do resent having to be his "minder" on those occasions where there are children around, as per the bail conditions. And yes the not being able to tell people why I feel so crap, having to lie to cover for him, and generally having to smile and carry on with life as though everything is like normal, well, it's doing my head in.