Ups & Downs
Notifications OFF
Hello everyone
for a minute I thought everything had died down to find out more and more people are finding out about my Dad.
There is this one person in particular who has found out who LOVES to gossip specially due to our age, they don’t consider how this gossiping is affecting our life’s. She is going out her way to try and meet up with friends of mine who she’s not spoken to in years, sad really.
I know it’s out of my control and people are going to talk but it’s just making me so anxious and paranoid I genuinely only like to leave the house if I know it’s going to be to go somewhere outside of my country where me and my family will not be recognised. It is my friends 21st birthday and I don’t even feel comfortable going out to celebrate with her and she’s been my friend of 16 years.
I am so drained trying to keep this together and put on a brave face all the time, constantly lying to my mum about why I’m off work and anxious all the time, because if she was to find out it would be me looking after her not the other way round due to her depression and anxiety & then with my dad I’m always trying to stay strong for him because I can see in his eyes how sorry and how much his hurting that his done this to all of us. However yesterday I couldn’t help but lose my s**t at him as I was just so frustrated that at my age I feel so closed off and scared of judgement because of something he has inflicted on us. I get that he was in a dark place but I just can’t get my head around it, he knew what he was doing was illegal why the bell wasn’t he thinking of the mess it could cause to the family.
Sorry for the rant, I think I’m just having an off couple of days!ultimately I know these are minor things to others but it just frustrates me how because of someone else’s action I feel like I can’t live my life how I should be living it. Why should I at my age have to be better each strong one for everyone around me, and not the other way round! Just annoyed.
Xx
for a minute I thought everything had died down to find out more and more people are finding out about my Dad.
There is this one person in particular who has found out who LOVES to gossip specially due to our age, they don’t consider how this gossiping is affecting our life’s. She is going out her way to try and meet up with friends of mine who she’s not spoken to in years, sad really.
I know it’s out of my control and people are going to talk but it’s just making me so anxious and paranoid I genuinely only like to leave the house if I know it’s going to be to go somewhere outside of my country where me and my family will not be recognised. It is my friends 21st birthday and I don’t even feel comfortable going out to celebrate with her and she’s been my friend of 16 years.
I am so drained trying to keep this together and put on a brave face all the time, constantly lying to my mum about why I’m off work and anxious all the time, because if she was to find out it would be me looking after her not the other way round due to her depression and anxiety & then with my dad I’m always trying to stay strong for him because I can see in his eyes how sorry and how much his hurting that his done this to all of us. However yesterday I couldn’t help but lose my s**t at him as I was just so frustrated that at my age I feel so closed off and scared of judgement because of something he has inflicted on us. I get that he was in a dark place but I just can’t get my head around it, he knew what he was doing was illegal why the bell wasn’t he thinking of the mess it could cause to the family.
Sorry for the rant, I think I’m just having an off couple of days!ultimately I know these are minor things to others but it just frustrates me how because of someone else’s action I feel like I can’t live my life how I should be living it. Why should I at my age have to be better each strong one for everyone around me, and not the other way round! Just annoyed.
Xx
County ***
Hell* hahaha it’s so hard to type on your phone on this forum x
Evie, these aren't minor things at all. You're a wonderful person, trying to stay strong and support those you love. You're entitled to have a melt down and you need to look after you as well as anyone else you're trying to support through this. So you don't need to apologise when you need to rant on here. I can't say anything else by way of suggestion on how to cope with the gossip. I'm in the very early stages myself and in my case it's my son.
You're amazing. Stay strong. Look after you whenever you get the chance. Lots of love and hugs xxxxx
You're amazing. Stay strong. Look after you whenever you get the chance. Lots of love and hugs xxxxx
Awww thank you so much MandyW!
Just so so so anxious to go back to work Tuesday but I think routine is what I need back rather than being sat in my pyjamas all day being a bum hahaha!
Big hugs xxx
Just so so so anxious to go back to work Tuesday but I think routine is what I need back rather than being sat in my pyjamas all day being a bum hahaha!
Big hugs xxx