how to speak to loved ones
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Unfortunately my journey on this horrible path started a few years ago, and I am struggling today more than I have in a while.
I am now 6 months past my partners court date, and I finally know what I am dealing with, but yet I don't feel any better. I feel different.
My family have known about it all since the start, but I haven't been able to open up to them about how I'm feeling, and they don't ask me. It's been hard and lonely.
They don't know that I still talk to him, they don't know how confused I am about my feelings. And I think the reason I'm so scared to speak to them is because I know they will judge and impart their own opinions, not listening to my feelings and what I have been through. It will only feel like they are taking away any decision I have left.
So I wanted to ask, how have you all found this situation, approaching it with those closest to you? If you have done this.
The longer we don't talk about the elephant in the room, the worse it is getting and the more alone I feel. But I know they won't understand.
I am now 6 months past my partners court date, and I finally know what I am dealing with, but yet I don't feel any better. I feel different.
My family have known about it all since the start, but I haven't been able to open up to them about how I'm feeling, and they don't ask me. It's been hard and lonely.
They don't know that I still talk to him, they don't know how confused I am about my feelings. And I think the reason I'm so scared to speak to them is because I know they will judge and impart their own opinions, not listening to my feelings and what I have been through. It will only feel like they are taking away any decision I have left.
So I wanted to ask, how have you all found this situation, approaching it with those closest to you? If you have done this.
The longer we don't talk about the elephant in the room, the worse it is getting and the more alone I feel. But I know they won't understand.
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Trying x
Maybe just arrange a time to sit down with them and let them know how YOU are struggling, its never going to be an easy conversation but you cant keep it bottled up it is obviously playing on your mind and wellbeing xx
You don't have to go in to your relationship with him, this is about your relationship with your family, it will always be the elephant in the room but it really does not have to be no matter how difficult the start of the conversation will be, your not asking for them to forgive but you need them to listen to how sad and upset you are or if you cant then what about writing a letter to them? Sorry not much help but I really do feel for you xx sending hugs and remember you are not alone we are all here to offer support xx
Maybe just arrange a time to sit down with them and let them know how YOU are struggling, its never going to be an easy conversation but you cant keep it bottled up it is obviously playing on your mind and wellbeing xx
You don't have to go in to your relationship with him, this is about your relationship with your family, it will always be the elephant in the room but it really does not have to be no matter how difficult the start of the conversation will be, your not asking for them to forgive but you need them to listen to how sad and upset you are or if you cant then what about writing a letter to them? Sorry not much help but I really do feel for you xx sending hugs and remember you are not alone we are all here to offer support xx
Have you spoken to a counsellor about this? I would suggest finding someone you can talk it all through with in detail.
Failing that, write it all down.
family relationships are so complex, and our relationships with our people so fraught, it is so hard to make decisions and navigate the minefields.
I'm sorry you're faced with this
x
Failing that, write it all down.
family relationships are so complex, and our relationships with our people so fraught, it is so hard to make decisions and navigate the minefields.
I'm sorry you're faced with this
x
Thank you for all your replies.
It's difficult when you're so close to someone, but yet still don't feel like you can talk to them, which then makes you feel very alone.
But it also must be hard for someone to understand or know how to support you, when it's something with such a huge stigma attached to it and something you never imagined would happen to you.
Blue sky, I'm sorry to hear that, I hope things get better, just make sure you are doing what's right for you, if that is a bit of space.
Parkerpoo, I completely resonate. The hiding and the lying is the worst part.
Upset mum, thank you, that really means a lot. I guess no matter how scary "trying" is, it is worth trying.
K4, writing it down is a good idea, I actually started to try and write it all down for the first time the other day, I haven't finished but I'm hoping this helps, and I am still on the waiting list to speak to a counseller.
Sending you all love x
It's difficult when you're so close to someone, but yet still don't feel like you can talk to them, which then makes you feel very alone.
But it also must be hard for someone to understand or know how to support you, when it's something with such a huge stigma attached to it and something you never imagined would happen to you.
Blue sky, I'm sorry to hear that, I hope things get better, just make sure you are doing what's right for you, if that is a bit of space.
Parkerpoo, I completely resonate. The hiding and the lying is the worst part.
Upset mum, thank you, that really means a lot. I guess no matter how scary "trying" is, it is worth trying.
K4, writing it down is a good idea, I actually started to try and write it all down for the first time the other day, I haven't finished but I'm hoping this helps, and I am still on the waiting list to speak to a counseller.
Sending you all love x