Family and Friends Forum

Beyonce

Member since
May 2023

63 posts

Posted Sat May 20, 2023 2:20pmReport post

I have struggled with anxiety & depression all my life since my 16 year old stepson was arrested 5 weeks ago I am functioning at work & home but lots of morning whirring thoughts & anxiety once alone.I'm so scared that my mental health is deteriorating & I considered counselling when I first heard the news then I seemed calmer as is his Dad but I think I'm just suppressing feelings.I am already on 40mg of citalopram & try meditation,outdoors,meals with friends or hubby.What other support could I try

This is my 3rd time in here & Ive spoken to the helpline

rainyday52

Member since
April 2023

450 posts

Posted Sat May 20, 2023 5:32pmReport post

Hi Beyonce - another mum here, although my son is much older but has had to come here to live since his arrest. It's horrible, isn't it? I think the way you feel is pretty common to lots of us on here and after the first shock when I felt like I was walking around in a dream, things do become calmer and occasionally they feel like normal until you remember what's going on. Then something happens and it's as if you're back to square one again with all those awful feelings and sense of hopelessness. As a parent we don't have that awful sense of betrayal that a partner might have, and in most cases we don't have that dilemma of whether we want to stay in a relationship or not (although perhaps for some parents in some circumstances they have to distance themselves from their child). But that's no real comfort as the distress and trauma are probably the same.

You seem to be doing lots of good and helpful things to cope. I'm not familiar with the meds you take but having a quick search online, it seems you might be taking the highest recommended dose. Maybe it's worth asking your GP if there's anything else you could take alongside the citalopram just for a short while.

I watched Boy George talking about some of his self-help techniques and was really intrigued by Tapping - I looked up some clips on social media and gave it a try, feeling very daft whilst doing it BUT it worked!!!! And it's so simple to do. Plus breathing exercises......probably things you already know about but I can send a few links if it would help.

You don't mention having someone to talk to. I know the fewer who know the better, but I told a cousin and a friend who I trusted and as well as getting it off my chest which was a relief in itself, it was so helpful to hear them speak fondly and supportively of my son (as well as being so shocked and disgusted by his actions). I thought everyone would think he was a monster and I'd have to cut myself off from all my friends to protect him despite being disgusted myself by what he's done.

Anyway, do take care of yourself and post on here whenever you want and consider the forum members as your understanding friends.

Lots of love xxxx

Edited Sat May 20, 2023 6:19pm