Scared to feel normal-ish
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When the trauma of it all dies down, when the filling every minute with busy jobs dies down, does anyone else feel scared to be? To be okay? To have hope that a normal-ish life could be possible. I've been feeling okay, not forced positive but singing in the car to the radio and then stopping myself because, what if? What if another crushing blow comes?
But what if another blow does not come? I am trying to think what can i control and try not to worry about things i cannot. I do not always succeed but i do try.
my counsilor always tells me live in the now. If u spend all your time worrying about the past and worrying about the future you lose the here and now. So sing in your car and enjoy it, live in the now.
my counsilor always tells me live in the now. If u spend all your time worrying about the past and worrying about the future you lose the here and now. So sing in your car and enjoy it, live in the now.
So tired
I'm the same we are around 6 months past sentencing and my oh is home back as a family. But we are ok for weeks then I have a random day where I question everything and think why does this feel like normal how it used to almost I then have a wobble which turns into a argument feel terrible for it then carry on like normal.
Enjoy your life a new normal as it is but sing dance be happy have a wobble then carry on the next day like it never happened
Sending hugs
I'm the same we are around 6 months past sentencing and my oh is home back as a family. But we are ok for weeks then I have a random day where I question everything and think why does this feel like normal how it used to almost I then have a wobble which turns into a argument feel terrible for it then carry on like normal.
Enjoy your life a new normal as it is but sing dance be happy have a wobble then carry on the next day like it never happened
Sending hugs
Thanks ladies. I'm generally a positive person but have found recently that I think I have lived so long with something hanging over me, that I find it difficult not to? Does that make sense.
I've decided to switch my worry to hating my wrinkles and my hair. This process has aged me. I don't recognise myself looking in the mirror so I can be in a mood about that instead. I've bought myself one of those weighted hula hoop things!
I've decided to switch my worry to hating my wrinkles and my hair. This process has aged me. I don't recognise myself looking in the mirror so I can be in a mood about that instead. I've bought myself one of those weighted hula hoop things!
I saw a photo of myself taken about 2 months before my sons arrest. Now when I look in the mirror I can't believe how much I have aged and how tired I look. I can't image a time when I'll feel genuinely happy again x
Me too Mandy. Me too x
Sotired I feel exactly the same way as you I have days when it almost feels normal but I'm constantly worried that it won't last.
Last week I met up with a close friend who knows what happened and her daughter who doesn't know anything about it-daughter asked quite innocently how my son was and I just froze luckily my friend covered for me by saying that I had 2 sons so which one did she mean which enabled me to reply that son was ok thanks but it was a very awkward moment.
Mandymoo same here when I see myself in a mirror or in photos from just 3 years ago before all this nightmare began I barely recognise myself I have aged so much.
I have decided that I really need to start taking more care of myself though as at present I am not feeling at all well which I think is completely due to the trauma of the knock and subsequent PTSD.
I think that realistically I will always now live with a degree of fear and anxiety.
Last week I met up with a close friend who knows what happened and her daughter who doesn't know anything about it-daughter asked quite innocently how my son was and I just froze luckily my friend covered for me by saying that I had 2 sons so which one did she mean which enabled me to reply that son was ok thanks but it was a very awkward moment.
Mandymoo same here when I see myself in a mirror or in photos from just 3 years ago before all this nightmare began I barely recognise myself I have aged so much.
I have decided that I really need to start taking more care of myself though as at present I am not feeling at all well which I think is completely due to the trauma of the knock and subsequent PTSD.
I think that realistically I will always now live with a degree of fear and anxiety.
Do you know what I did yesterday. I don't approve of myself... I had a duck it moment and got Botox!!!
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@so tired.
im going to sound really weird but bare with me.
the trauma of what persons have done and caused have made you build little walls, some of those walls seem impossible to ever climb over or get around. However it's those that live in this walled up town that never leave it and feel guilty or odd when the walls start to come down to the town you were originally in. There is nothing wrong with getting over the walls or going around them, you know they are still there but you are able to live without them interfering with your day to day life.
Don't feel guilty that you have gotten used to the day to day stuff and now are enjoying the new normal. There is nothing wrong with that. You can't live in the past forever, eventually everyone moves forward. And yeah I know coming from me all that sounds totally off, but you know I'm not exactly normal lol
have fun with the new normal and don't feel guilty (or off that's normal because you're not used to it yet), enjoy your weighted hula hoop but wear something thick under it or you will end up feeling like you've been punched a hundred times the next day, it takes some getting used to but it is fun xx
im going to sound really weird but bare with me.
the trauma of what persons have done and caused have made you build little walls, some of those walls seem impossible to ever climb over or get around. However it's those that live in this walled up town that never leave it and feel guilty or odd when the walls start to come down to the town you were originally in. There is nothing wrong with getting over the walls or going around them, you know they are still there but you are able to live without them interfering with your day to day life.
Don't feel guilty that you have gotten used to the day to day stuff and now are enjoying the new normal. There is nothing wrong with that. You can't live in the past forever, eventually everyone moves forward. And yeah I know coming from me all that sounds totally off, but you know I'm not exactly normal lol
have fun with the new normal and don't feel guilty (or off that's normal because you're not used to it yet), enjoy your weighted hula hoop but wear something thick under it or you will end up feeling like you've been punched a hundred times the next day, it takes some getting used to but it is fun xx
Hi so tired
I too feel exactly the same . We're about 2 months post sentencing and I feel flat !
I hoped that I would feel happy again after it was over but I don't . The dark clouds is still overhead. I used to be such a happy go lucky type of person but the stress and upset of the past two years have left deep scars .I'm hoping in time it will fade xx
I too feel exactly the same . We're about 2 months post sentencing and I feel flat !
I hoped that I would feel happy again after it was over but I don't . The dark clouds is still overhead. I used to be such a happy go lucky type of person but the stress and upset of the past two years have left deep scars .I'm hoping in time it will fade xx
Too tired - good for you. I'm not brave enough yet. Let us know if you feel it's made a difference x
So tired, I completely understand your post.
We had a night out on sat (my son included) with a bunch of friends, all who know about what's happening with my son. It was an amazing night, we danced, we laughed we drank way too much. All my friends treated my son no differently than they did before.
BUT I did wake the next morning (a little fuzzy lol) hoping that our happy feeling wasn't all fake, I felt guilty for allowing myself to have such a great time, knowing it could all come crashing down if the media get their claws in when we finally get to court. Its such a strange feeling, like we need permission to have a good time xx
We had a night out on sat (my son included) with a bunch of friends, all who know about what's happening with my son. It was an amazing night, we danced, we laughed we drank way too much. All my friends treated my son no differently than they did before.
BUT I did wake the next morning (a little fuzzy lol) hoping that our happy feeling wasn't all fake, I felt guilty for allowing myself to have such a great time, knowing it could all come crashing down if the media get their claws in when we finally get to court. Its such a strange feeling, like we need permission to have a good time xx
I've enjoyed reading this thread, partly because it's reminded me that I'm not alone and that so many people feel the same as I do, and also uplifted because you are all so strong and brave and carrying on and looking after yourselves well. I've allowed myself to wallow too much and now I feel encouraged to pick myself up and get on with life.