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How do you carry on?

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Dobster

Member since
May 2023

33 posts

Posted Tue May 23, 2023 11:11pmReport post

When you have lost everything and you dread the future how do you carry on?

Losteverything

Member since
September 2022

216 posts

Posted Tue May 23, 2023 11:24pmReport post

What I've done is work backwards... work out what you want in the future and how you can achieve it.
For me that's meant leaving my partner cos I couldn't have the life I wanted with someone who had watched young children being raped ( sorry to be blunt but that's how I've coped and I've got strength from the belief that the're no excuses for what he's done )

of course everyone has the right to do what they want but for me I see more happiness in a future away from all this nightmare

InTatters

Member since
June 2022

175 posts

Posted Tue May 23, 2023 11:48pmReport post

Don't know

Smile through tears

Member since
September 2021

2546 posts

Posted Wed May 24, 2023 1:30amReport post

You grab everything in life that you enjoy, things in life that give you purpose. You think of the people that love and support you.

It's hard, but we fight the struggle each and every day. All of us fighting different battles but linked with the same emotions.

Not easy - especially when the rug has been pulled from under your feet by someone you love/loved.......

Edited Wed May 24, 2023 1:34am

Curlywurly

Member since
April 2022

14 posts

Posted Wed May 24, 2023 7:33amReport post

Because I have a young son who needs me and if it comes to his world crumbling because his Dad will no longer be a big part of his life, I will be the one to wipe away his tears and make sure he is ok. Even when all I want to do is crawl away and hide most days, I have to do my best to plaster a smile on and act like everything is normal for his sake, as hard and exhausting as that is

I think in this situation we all find strength we didn't know we had, simply because we have to x

Nemesis

Member since
July 2021

125 posts

Posted Wed May 24, 2023 7:45amReport post

I am sorry I don't know your situation

i lost my house, job, friends, the life that I knew



but.... i learnt the truth of a relationship and I gained the strength to stand up and represent myself in front of 3 judges, a trial... (long story) and I got my children safe.... safe and away from harm.
Through that legal process (not directly linked to the crime) I learnt more about the lies... and the hatred of him and his family against me. But I learnt the truth.

And that is priceless in ensuring the children are safe.

I never wanted the crime to define me, and it hasn't, it has made me stronger. So take the time, do what you need to do and what is right for you. And be kind to yourself

Green

Member since
June 2021

76 posts

Posted Thu May 25, 2023 12:38amReport post

Nemesis, I don't know if this helps, but I've been seeing your history and I wish I had a mother like yourself. You're amazing x

As for the OP, not thinking about the future at all. Just one day at a time. Going extreme on the love bombing with myself and my kids, exercising, eating nutrition good food, doing my hair, getting nice potions and lotions, making myself feel good. One day at a time.

Nemesis

Member since
July 2021

125 posts

Posted Thu May 25, 2023 9:13pmReport post

Definitely one day at a time..

one hurdle ... and then another

ans thanks Green. That made me shed a tear as I failed my girls. I didn't protect them in their own home. But the decoy ... protected them and got us safe. Someone said I was the luckiest woman ... and to some extent she was right. He got caught x

Parkerpoo1

Member since
July 2022

252 posts

Posted Thu May 25, 2023 11:51pmReport post

Post deleted


Edited Thu December 21, 2023 10:08am

Bitterbean

Member since
December 2021

634 posts

Posted Fri May 26, 2023 2:14pmReport post

Dobster

For me, the things that make me carry on are:

the fact that I personally have done nothing wrong

That, despite the things I've lost and/or may yet lose, there are lots of things I can still do with my life that can make it enjoyable and feel worthwhile

That this is my life and it's the only one I've got, if I give up on that I really do have nothing left

I think, finally, that this whole situation has made me so very angry; it's this anger that I tap into, and that makes me feel defiant and know that I still have a lot of fight left in me. I'm not letting anyone take away my anger, defiance and willingness to fight for myself.