Thinking about what lies ahead
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I've always been a worrier but this whole mess is the worse thing I have ever experienced. Different emotions on different days but thoughts of what will happen in the future take over.
Worried about when it all comes out in the media. How to face people and try to explain it wasn't me I didn't know! Then will there be any repercussions. The fear of going to bed at night and having my windows put in or the house graffitied. Told you I overthink everything.
Then if he gets jail what about all his belongings? I threw him out on the day we got the knock but apart from me there is no one else to sort it. What did others do in this situation any advice would be appreciated xx
Worried about when it all comes out in the media. How to face people and try to explain it wasn't me I didn't know! Then will there be any repercussions. The fear of going to bed at night and having my windows put in or the house graffitied. Told you I overthink everything.
Then if he gets jail what about all his belongings? I threw him out on the day we got the knock but apart from me there is no one else to sort it. What did others do in this situation any advice would be appreciated xx
Where is he now ? Can you not just bring his stuff in o him now so you hvnt that to worry about . That fear of media ect is still there in me . I know how it feels even tho I'm past sentencing. It has got easier but it's still there . I jumpmwjem door knocks especially at night and if any cars park outside my house .
Also , try to live each day as it comes . Difficult believe me I know . But deal with one thing at a time or you'll end up Burnt out , also have you rang the helpline or your GP honey x look after you first
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Newlady he has a flat not far from me. If he gets a custodial sentence I will probably have to take his stuff as he will loose the flat.
I really respect the ladies that have stuck with their men and have supported them. Takes a lot of guts.
I really respect the ladies that have stuck with their men and have supported them. Takes a lot of guts.
Dobster, I can relate to what you say, I'm terrified of it all coming out and people knowing about what he has done, I worry everyone will think I knew and that I am ok with his awful behaviour. I started to see a counsellor as I am so traumatised. I think I now understand that I cannot predict how people will react and that somehow I need to be able to come to terms with that it's beyond me control as a lot of this journey is, beyond our control.
At the end of the day I need to take care of me, focus on what I want because he made the choices he made without a thought or care for me. I have to come to terms with that and move forward with my life and those who know me will know the truth everyone else can gossip if they want to.
Be kind to yourself and do the things that make you happy. And live each day as it come, very difficult to do but that is something I try to do everyday.
At the end of the day I need to take care of me, focus on what I want because he made the choices he made without a thought or care for me. I have to come to terms with that and move forward with my life and those who know me will know the truth everyone else can gossip if they want to.
Be kind to yourself and do the things that make you happy. And live each day as it come, very difficult to do but that is something I try to do everyday.
Hi Dobster, if you've thrown him out and you are no longer together none of it is your problem it's his!!!
Also take all his stuff to his flat and HE will have to make arrangements to have it moved and put in storage if he goes to jail .
this is his fault, his problem to sort out.. he chose this.
Also take all his stuff to his flat and HE will have to make arrangements to have it moved and put in storage if he goes to jail .
this is his fault, his problem to sort out.. he chose this.
I also told everyone around me what he'd done . I've only had kindness and sympathy from people.
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All I can say Dobster, I know it's extremely hard to do this, but I speak with hindsight and reflection is try not to panic and overthink. All these horrible sinarios you are loosing sleep over might not happen, they might but it's out of your control if they do...... always remember you are innocent.
I imagined a smashed home/car (peered round the door as I left in the mornings with fear) being shunned by friends and neighbours, everyone pointing their fingers at us. Hate mail - vigilante groups chanting outside the gate. All because the media dished out our name & address.
I've recently been through a health scare and it's certainly put things in perspective for me. I thought hang about there's me worrying about my son, BUT - I matter too - I have my life to look out for . My son will be 40 when released so strong enough to cope with sorting out the mess he created!!!!! Just TRY your very best to keep calm.... hug sent x
I imagined a smashed home/car (peered round the door as I left in the mornings with fear) being shunned by friends and neighbours, everyone pointing their fingers at us. Hate mail - vigilante groups chanting outside the gate. All because the media dished out our name & address.
I've recently been through a health scare and it's certainly put things in perspective for me. I thought hang about there's me worrying about my son, BUT - I matter too - I have my life to look out for . My son will be 40 when released so strong enough to cope with sorting out the mess he created!!!!! Just TRY your very best to keep calm.... hug sent x
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It really is true Blue Sky I speak from the heart. Tough stuff HAS happened - certainly not a bed of roses but I'd say 90% of those terrors never materialised.
And I hope Dobster doesn't mind me sharing those words from Smile through tears too!!
As my grandson tells me (usually when he fancies a bit of my cake!) SHARING IS CARING xxx
As my grandson tells me (usually when he fancies a bit of my cake!) SHARING IS CARING xxx
Dobster x
We have all been where you are and our minds are our worst enemy
We have no control over this and we think the worst imaginable happening,
My sons case was reported horrifically but we have had no repercussions, yes I know its out there and I hope when my son is out of prison he doesn't Google himself
All we can do is to take one day at a time we can't control something that is out of our hands, But we are stong beyond what we could ever imagined to be ,xx
We have all been where you are and our minds are our worst enemy
We have no control over this and we think the worst imaginable happening,
My sons case was reported horrifically but we have had no repercussions, yes I know its out there and I hope when my son is out of prison he doesn't Google himself
All we can do is to take one day at a time we can't control something that is out of our hands, But we are stong beyond what we could ever imagined to be ,xx