Therapy for OH not working
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We had the knock three months ago. My husband tried to commit suicide and since then has been undergoing therapy with a psychologist. At first he seemed sorry and said he would put me and my son first and not make a divorce difficult for me. I feel like the therapy is making him worse and more self absorbed. Three months on it feels worse than ever as he now seems to think there is an excuse for his behaviour. Which means he is being nasty, refusing to divorce and claiming I should move out and rent whilst he lives in the family home! We have a farm and he now insists on turning up every day (when my son is at school) which is plain creepy. I know from my lawyer that I have rights and could go hard ball with this, including a non molestation order. Has anyone else found things got worse when their therapy started? I wonder if it will help at all or whether I am simply dealing with a selfish nasty person? He is so volatile I hate having him around. I have to see him twice a week for the supervised visits, which I now dread
Anxious mummy I think you would have to get legal advice. It doesn't sound right what he's doing.
I too worry that if I decide to leave that he will refuse to move, and insist that I'm the one who has to leave our home. At first I was devastated at the thought of this but I'm coming around to accepting that if it will happen. At least moving to somewhere new would help me mentally with a fresh start, but I'd want to stay in the area because it's where all my friends are.
I too worry that if I decide to leave that he will refuse to move, and insist that I'm the one who has to leave our home. At first I was devastated at the thought of this but I'm coming around to accepting that if it will happen. At least moving to somewhere new would help me mentally with a fresh start, but I'd want to stay in the area because it's where all my friends are.
Don't let him threaten you, he's acting as if he's got the upper hand and he doesn't... you do.
I had the same situation where he refused to move out so I had to spend 6 weeks staying with friends. I've had threats of refusing to sell our house etc. he can't stop you selling , you can apply to the courts for a right to sell and based on what he's done I was told there'd be no problem (£300)
the way I got him out of the house was to threaten to ring his family and friends and tell them what he'd done. That made him move within 48 hours!!!!
I had the same situation where he refused to move out so I had to spend 6 weeks staying with friends. I've had threats of refusing to sell our house etc. he can't stop you selling , you can apply to the courts for a right to sell and based on what he's done I was told there'd be no problem (£300)
the way I got him out of the house was to threaten to ring his family and friends and tell them what he'd done. That made him move within 48 hours!!!!
Yes!!! So much worse. I'd love to know what goes on in those sessions. My person has become so vile o have decided to severely restrict contact. Have to have some because of the kids who want to speak to/see him.
It's interesting that his behaviour has got much worse since his counselling!
I just don't buy into any excuses cos that's what they are.... excuses!!!!!
I just don't buy into any excuses cos that's what they are.... excuses!!!!!
My ex was vile and very nasty
Regardless of the reason my advice (having been through family court) is to start the practical stuff. And finances. We were unmarried, with a property and children who he in reality will hardly see (for many reasons)
There are many solicitors who offer free advice so start getting it. I used a mckenzie friend and did it myself (ruddy hard) but I saved a fortune. My ex showed himself to be a bully and an abuser in many ways
The judges were so lovely to me (only 1 was cross as I dared to enter his court without a barrister...) but the last one wished me and my children all the best in life...
so ... my advice is get the order started, get the financials sorted. My ex always financially wanted the best for the children.... until ,.. strangely he did not have access to them ... coincidence ... or not. But I learnt the hard way. If the nasty starts it is unlikely to stop (as I found)
Regardless of the reason my advice (having been through family court) is to start the practical stuff. And finances. We were unmarried, with a property and children who he in reality will hardly see (for many reasons)
There are many solicitors who offer free advice so start getting it. I used a mckenzie friend and did it myself (ruddy hard) but I saved a fortune. My ex showed himself to be a bully and an abuser in many ways
The judges were so lovely to me (only 1 was cross as I dared to enter his court without a barrister...) but the last one wished me and my children all the best in life...
so ... my advice is get the order started, get the financials sorted. My ex always financially wanted the best for the children.... until ,.. strangely he did not have access to them ... coincidence ... or not. But I learnt the hard way. If the nasty starts it is unlikely to stop (as I found)
My ex was vile and very nasty
Regardless of the reason my advice (having been through family court) is to start the practical stuff. And finances. We were unmarried, with a property and children who he in reality will hardly see (for many reasons)
There are many solicitors who offer free advice so start getting it. I used a mckenzie friend and did it myself (ruddy hard) but I saved a fortune. My ex showed himself to be a bully and an abuser in many ways
The judges were so lovely to me (only 1 was cross as I dared to enter his court without a barrister...) but the last one wished me and my children all the best in life...
so ... my advice is get the order started, get the financials sorted. My ex always financially wanted the best for the children.... until ,.. strangely he did not have access to them ... coincidence ... or not. But I learnt the hard way. If the nasty starts it is unlikely to stop (as I found)
Regardless of the reason my advice (having been through family court) is to start the practical stuff. And finances. We were unmarried, with a property and children who he in reality will hardly see (for many reasons)
There are many solicitors who offer free advice so start getting it. I used a mckenzie friend and did it myself (ruddy hard) but I saved a fortune. My ex showed himself to be a bully and an abuser in many ways
The judges were so lovely to me (only 1 was cross as I dared to enter his court without a barrister...) but the last one wished me and my children all the best in life...
so ... my advice is get the order started, get the financials sorted. My ex always financially wanted the best for the children.... until ,.. strangely he did not have access to them ... coincidence ... or not. But I learnt the hard way. If the nasty starts it is unlikely to stop (as I found)
I work in mental health and believe in therapy, but it is really important that the person undergoing therapy is emotionally stable and most Importantly, open to it.
It is possible that there are underlying issues such as addiction or childhood trauma that leads to these offences. However it is important that it seen as an explanation rather than an excuse. The person should still take responsibility for their actions.
My OH was in active cocaine addiction when he offended and he often describes himself under the influence as another person. My answer to that is that it was him who chose to take the drug knowing the behaviour it would lead to, no-one else.
Addiction & trauma are horrific but people still make choices.
It is possible that there are underlying issues such as addiction or childhood trauma that leads to these offences. However it is important that it seen as an explanation rather than an excuse. The person should still take responsibility for their actions.
My OH was in active cocaine addiction when he offended and he often describes himself under the influence as another person. My answer to that is that it was him who chose to take the drug knowing the behaviour it would lead to, no-one else.
Addiction & trauma are horrific but people still make choices.