Sex addiction article
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Been reading this personal account of someone with a partner with porn/sex addiction on the Guardian today, and I'm thinking all over again whether I should continue to support him or whether I should leave :-(
I thought I'd kinda got over this
I thought I'd kinda got over this
I too have read that article.
What aspect of it is making you question what to do?
It must be do extremely difficult to know what to think. I've myself had therapy and attended SLA, so I understand and can relate the the reward cycle in the brain of watching more and more porn, more extreme stuff, meeting for sex, pushing boundaries. I've always been a little uncomfortable calling it an addiction because to me it felt more like escapism and the more unhappy or unsettled I felt, the more I did it. But I never cheated on a partner. In fact the reason I sought help was because it was stopping me getting into relationships because I didn't think I could be in a relationship and be faithful because of my relationship with sex and porn. I've friends that use alcohol or drugs as their escapism, mine was sex and porn - I always felt in one way or another it would be the thing that would have a big negative effect on my life - I was worried I'd get a life changing infection, meet someone dangerous or push BDSM and experimentation too far. I can have a drink, but can take it or leave it, I've tried a few recreational drugs but never felt a pull towards them, but even though I knew sex and porn was negatively impacting my life and what I wanted and putting my life in danger, I couldn't stop and when I could I had to make a real, conscious effort.
What aspect of it is making you question what to do?
It must be do extremely difficult to know what to think. I've myself had therapy and attended SLA, so I understand and can relate the the reward cycle in the brain of watching more and more porn, more extreme stuff, meeting for sex, pushing boundaries. I've always been a little uncomfortable calling it an addiction because to me it felt more like escapism and the more unhappy or unsettled I felt, the more I did it. But I never cheated on a partner. In fact the reason I sought help was because it was stopping me getting into relationships because I didn't think I could be in a relationship and be faithful because of my relationship with sex and porn. I've friends that use alcohol or drugs as their escapism, mine was sex and porn - I always felt in one way or another it would be the thing that would have a big negative effect on my life - I was worried I'd get a life changing infection, meet someone dangerous or push BDSM and experimentation too far. I can have a drink, but can take it or leave it, I've tried a few recreational drugs but never felt a pull towards them, but even though I knew sex and porn was negatively impacting my life and what I wanted and putting my life in danger, I couldn't stop and when I could I had to make a real, conscious effort.
SAL
That's a really good question. I am pretty certain he has never cheated on me and I know he has no attraction to children. I guess it's because some of the things mentioned in the article, the viewing porn while on holiday, the masturbating in bed while he thinks I'm asleep, have triggered me. I guess it's because I know he's been viewing porn, at times, and by many people's standards, obsessively, for a long time and it's not only made me feel not enough for him but also disrespected. I'm glad you asked, because it's made me question my gut reaction to the article and now I've had time to reflect I realise that it's just surfaced my insecurities, and I haven't really changed my mind about supporting him.
I think it was mostly an escape for him when he was stressed, and guess I should be pleased that he's pretty much gone cold turkey since the knock, because based on your experience, that was probably quite hard for him.
That's a really good question. I am pretty certain he has never cheated on me and I know he has no attraction to children. I guess it's because some of the things mentioned in the article, the viewing porn while on holiday, the masturbating in bed while he thinks I'm asleep, have triggered me. I guess it's because I know he's been viewing porn, at times, and by many people's standards, obsessively, for a long time and it's not only made me feel not enough for him but also disrespected. I'm glad you asked, because it's made me question my gut reaction to the article and now I've had time to reflect I realise that it's just surfaced my insecurities, and I haven't really changed my mind about supporting him.
I think it was mostly an escape for him when he was stressed, and guess I should be pleased that he's pretty much gone cold turkey since the knock, because based on your experience, that was probably quite hard for him.