Family and Friends Forum

Your not naive - you've been thrown into a frightening new world, it's all such a shock to take in. Our minds will always think, what went wrong for this to happen right under our noses - you look for a reason. There's so many questions in our head with sadly only very few answers.

I stand by my son, I know he's not what people label him and to be honest I've reached the point now I don't give a damn what anyone thinks.

Try not to fret what others think or advise, go with your gut reaction, which might twist and turn as time goes on. It's a horrible jouney but with it comes a learning curve, you'll gather strength my lovely, you'll cope and move forward.

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Sometimes it is best to stop seeking the opinions of others as you will drive yourself to insanity. In time our racing thoughts do quieten. Sit with them allow them space and let them go. You may never fully have answers or fully understand and that's ok. I personally don't feel this is a time to 'play devils advocate' nor do I feel it is anyone's right to do so. Each of us has a very different story and journey and each will make our own choices and make our own decisions based on a much greater picture and in depth knowledge of our person and our family. The opinions of others are irrelevant. This is your life and your family and this doesn't define you. You can be happy again despite this xx

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Always hopeful . I could have written your post myself. My person too recieved iioc through a couple of social media messages but he deleted them straight away(not savvy enough to know they rarely completely delete off the device) . I do struggle with why , when he saw what the first message contained he stupidly opened the second but I do believe him that he never went looking for it and was disgusted by what he saw. He is and always has been an excellent husband, father, son, friend . He made a stupid, stupid , naive mistake that has ultimately wrecked our life as we knew it.If it gets public knowledge, society will only know what the media chooses to tell them which is usually a twisted version of the truth but should i throw away the last 30yrs because that is what society expects me to do ?Would have my decision to stay/go have been easier if he had actively been seeking those images ? I used to think yes , if so then there would have been no question of me standing by him but after reading many of stories on this forum I now know it's not as easy as that . I see a broken man who is devastated that he has brought this to my , my children's and our families doors . He is disgusted with himself that whatever part he has paid in this has helped facilitate the abuse of those poor children in the images but he is still the good , kind man I've loved for half my life .

In our situation it's certainly not easy to just switch off a relationship. Some just cannot reconcile with the offender and go on to make a new life, but there's nothing wrong with those that decide to try to make it work.