Back to work
Notifications OFF
since it had been released in the papers and on social media about my dad, I got signed off for 3 weeks - I am not due back to work tomorrow and I am absolutely petrified to go back! I know a few people there know about it but I am so scared about going back and feeling paranoid that everyone knows, not really much reason for this post just so so anxious and just want the floor to swallow me up!
Evie my advice is you need to go back to work and get some routine and normality in your life. It’s going to be hard but you can do it. I bet no one will say anything and if they do it will be to support you. If they don’t well it’s their bad, makes them a horrible person who’s not worth your time.
Have you spoken to your line manager? Can they support you on the first few days to ease you gently back?
Just thing of the long term, the feeding frenzy will move on and just keep in the forefront of your mind that you’ve done absolutely nothing wrong!
Good luck lovely x
Have you spoken to your line manager? Can they support you on the first few days to ease you gently back?
Just thing of the long term, the feeding frenzy will move on and just keep in the forefront of your mind that you’ve done absolutely nothing wrong!
Good luck lovely x
Hi Jaded
Thank you so much, I know deep down I need to get routine back as I am just sat in my own thoughts all day, driving me insane! I think i’m just thinking worst case scenario and am just constantly paranoid, a few weeks in I’m sure I’ll be fine and things will slowly feel normal again!
Xxx
Thank you so much, I know deep down I need to get routine back as I am just sat in my own thoughts all day, driving me insane! I think i’m just thinking worst case scenario and am just constantly paranoid, a few weeks in I’m sure I’ll be fine and things will slowly feel normal again!
Xxx
Hi Evie. Good luck. The worst has happened already - it can’t get worse, only better.
Good luck Evie. I hope you feel supported. Remember that anyone who has judgements to make can’t say for sure how they’d react unless they’ve been in this situation, so pay no notice of anyone with anything negative to say.
Wishing you all the best with your return to work. Hopefully the routine will be a good thing. Xx
Wishing you all the best with your return to work. Hopefully the routine will be a good thing. Xx
Oh and sorry Jaded - no I have not told my line manager anything, she is the least understanding person and has very strong opinions, I think our HR department is good so I could go to them, I just say I’m off due to being depressed because im to scared to say the real reason, when I tell people it feels more real. The only person I told out of choice was my boyfriend and that was because when It was in the newspapers my friend messaged me about it so I told him before he found out that way!
Thank you Big Sigh, I really hope so!
Thank your JayneG, yes I agree it will say more about them.. no one can know how they’d react unless they’ve been faced with it! I just care WAY to much about people thoughts!
Thank you all so much xxx
Thank you Big Sigh, I really hope so!
Thank your JayneG, yes I agree it will say more about them.. no one can know how they’d react unless they’ve been faced with it! I just care WAY to much about people thoughts!
Thank you all so much xxx
Evie
all the best tomorrow. Your brave and courageous and have got this. Jaded is right if they say anything it should be for support. You did nothing wrong and have been through a very traumatic time.
i am greatful I am at work as giving me some sense of identity outside this situation. I I think it’s good you have had some time off to rest. It might be mentally exhausting being back but you will get there x
messa back tomorrow to say how your day went x
all the best tomorrow. Your brave and courageous and have got this. Jaded is right if they say anything it should be for support. You did nothing wrong and have been through a very traumatic time.
i am greatful I am at work as giving me some sense of identity outside this situation. I I think it’s good you have had some time off to rest. It might be mentally exhausting being back but you will get there x
messa back tomorrow to say how your day went x
Thank you!! I’ll let you know how it goes fingers crossed it goes okay. I know it will xxx
Go Evie go ! Hold your head high and concentrate on your job . You are a warrior
sorry this is late
x
sorry this is late
x
Hi Evie
Just want to say good luck today, you’ll be fine.
Deep breaths to calm yourself...
You can do it
Sillyac
Just want to say good luck today, you’ll be fine.
Deep breaths to calm yourself...
You can do it
Sillyac
Hi Evie,
Hope it goes well today, I was the same as you, it came out in the paper and all over Facebook in the half term, so I was terrified to go back to work as a lollipop lady and in a school, worried about what people would day. Nobody said anything, there was just one mum who's mum worked with my ex and all she does now is give me a dirty look, she used to say good morning before, but as long as she doesn't say anything vi don't care about vthe look. I also had to tell a few people that didn't know because I didn't want them to find out from Facebook, and they all have been really supportive.
So you might be surprised with people reaction. I'll be thinking of you today. Xx
Hope it goes well today, I was the same as you, it came out in the paper and all over Facebook in the half term, so I was terrified to go back to work as a lollipop lady and in a school, worried about what people would day. Nobody said anything, there was just one mum who's mum worked with my ex and all she does now is give me a dirty look, she used to say good morning before, but as long as she doesn't say anything vi don't care about vthe look. I also had to tell a few people that didn't know because I didn't want them to find out from Facebook, and they all have been really supportive.
So you might be surprised with people reaction. I'll be thinking of you today. Xx
Hello everyone,
Thank you for all your kind messages, it wasn’t as bad as I thought no one said anything and people were really kind to me, maybe not as many people know as I thought.
However I went to a meeting and came back to an email from the HR manager which was about me but wasn’t meant to go to me and it read “‘evie’ into current month for sickness. She has just returned from a 3 week absence if that happens again she will be in problems’.
What the f**k I am one shocked at how professional that is and two I haven’t just been signed off for no good reason? I am so angry, especially for a company that preaches so much about mental health awareness it’s a load of rubbish!
Donr know what I should do about that email or if I should report it?
Xxxx
Thank you for all your kind messages, it wasn’t as bad as I thought no one said anything and people were really kind to me, maybe not as many people know as I thought.
However I went to a meeting and came back to an email from the HR manager which was about me but wasn’t meant to go to me and it read “‘evie’ into current month for sickness. She has just returned from a 3 week absence if that happens again she will be in problems’.
What the f**k I am one shocked at how professional that is and two I haven’t just been signed off for no good reason? I am so angry, especially for a company that preaches so much about mental health awareness it’s a load of rubbish!
Donr know what I should do about that email or if I should report it?
Xxxx
Unprofessional *
oh my god I cannot type on this phone on this forum it’s so confusing and at the end of the post that was just the end of her email that I copied and pasted lol sorry for how rubbish I am!
oh my god I cannot type on this phone on this forum it’s so confusing and at the end of the post that was just the end of her email that I copied and pasted lol sorry for how rubbish I am!
Hi Evie, glad to hear it wasn’t as bad as you thought.
If it was me I’d print a couple of copies off to keep for my own protection. I’d then ‘reply all’ and say, very non confrontational, ‘I don’t think that was meant for me?’.
Imagine her squirm.....
keep your powder dry, you’ve got enough on your shoulders at this time but you’ve got copies to keep should you need it.
If it was me I’d print a couple of copies off to keep for my own protection. I’d then ‘reply all’ and say, very non confrontational, ‘I don’t think that was meant for me?’.
Imagine her squirm.....
keep your powder dry, you’ve got enough on your shoulders at this time but you’ve got copies to keep should you need it.
Hi Jaded
I know how cringe, that’s exactly what I did I responded ‘i think you may have sent me this by mistake’ & she was like ‘thanks, please can you close your sickness on the portal’
I’ve kept it for my records I am so angry, a HR department is meant to be there for you not doing stuff like that!
I also asked what she means my problems, she completely aired my email.
Xxx
I know how cringe, that’s exactly what I did I responded ‘i think you may have sent me this by mistake’ & she was like ‘thanks, please can you close your sickness on the portal’
I’ve kept it for my records I am so angry, a HR department is meant to be there for you not doing stuff like that!
I also asked what she means my problems, she completely aired my email.
Xxx
Oh Evie
what a first day back. I am pleased some collgues have been professional they must have been happy to see you too. I really care for my work colleagues like my friends.
That email was outrageous. Printing it off is good plan just in case any problems. I was very paranoid that I was being pushed out and punished when I went back. This offence can set you off thinking the worse.
thanks for letting us know how it went. You are one strong lady xx
what a first day back. I am pleased some collgues have been professional they must have been happy to see you too. I really care for my work colleagues like my friends.
That email was outrageous. Printing it off is good plan just in case any problems. I was very paranoid that I was being pushed out and punished when I went back. This offence can set you off thinking the worse.
thanks for letting us know how it went. You are one strong lady xx
Good for you Evie. Now tomorrow go in, walk tall and smile!
Evie, I'm so sorry you had to deal with that kind of unprofessional conduct from HR - it's disgusting.
Try not to let it concern you too much; for the time off you've had, when you've produced a sick note with a reason, it's appalling to talk in that tone, whether or not you were ever going to see it.
I'm lucky that I have a trusted colleague who has been incredible in supporting me at work, but the business owner hasn't been so great so I know how tricky it can be to deal with people being difficult in the workplace. Chin up today - you've done absolutely nothing wrong. Stay strong. xx
Try not to let it concern you too much; for the time off you've had, when you've produced a sick note with a reason, it's appalling to talk in that tone, whether or not you were ever going to see it.
I'm lucky that I have a trusted colleague who has been incredible in supporting me at work, but the business owner hasn't been so great so I know how tricky it can be to deal with people being difficult in the workplace. Chin up today - you've done absolutely nothing wrong. Stay strong. xx
Evie I'm so glad it went well for your first day back, stupid email aside! Good advice from Poster. I was relieved to hear today that my daughter's newish job had shown she has a nice boss and colleagues which I hope means she will be supported when I tell her about her brother and when it hits the press.
I echo what someone else has said about your strength. You're amazing x
I echo what someone else has said about your strength. You're amazing x
Hello everyone
thank you so much all for your lovely comments that’s why I love this forum because we’ve all been put into this situation out of our control but everyone is so supportive of each other.
Today was much better, that lady who sent the email called me and asked me for a meeting it was all a miss understandmenta it meant I would be ‘in problems’ if I was to be signed off as I would not get the pay and would also owe the company money (don’t get how it works) but I also get my full payments apart from a day and a half as well. I explained to her partly why I was off I didn’t say what my dad has done just that some things hit the papers/media etc and she was so supportive and advised if anyone was to comment ‘she is bigger and uglier’ than all of them and to come to her as my company will not tolerate anything like that.
Xxx
thank you so much all for your lovely comments that’s why I love this forum because we’ve all been put into this situation out of our control but everyone is so supportive of each other.
Today was much better, that lady who sent the email called me and asked me for a meeting it was all a miss understandmenta it meant I would be ‘in problems’ if I was to be signed off as I would not get the pay and would also owe the company money (don’t get how it works) but I also get my full payments apart from a day and a half as well. I explained to her partly why I was off I didn’t say what my dad has done just that some things hit the papers/media etc and she was so supportive and advised if anyone was to comment ‘she is bigger and uglier’ than all of them and to come to her as my company will not tolerate anything like that.
Xxx
Great to hear Evie, hope everyday gets better for you x
That's brilliant. I'm so glad she's being supportive xxx