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Hi everyone,
Hope everyone's plodding along.
Just thinking out loud really. I'm having a few low days. A year past sentencing and i should be thinking thats one year on SOR done. But I feel very lonely and sad that it's my children's childhoods I'm counting down. I have a few good friends who don't know and are busy with their own lives. We were advised not to tell them.
I look back over the last 18 months and tell myself I'm amazing for surviving this and coming out the other end. Some days I'm stronger, today is not one of these days.
These things just set me off again:
I'm struggling to find somewhere in our budget for a few days away and that oh is allowed.
Children starting new school and worried what the DSL will think about us.
Doubting myself that I've done the right thing staying (2 weeks ago I was 90% sure I had done the right thing).
I don't come on here very often anymore, sometimes I think it's a bit of denial on my part and other stories makes me overthink what other scenarios might happen / could happen. Which may sound selfish but after been on the forum I always have terrible dreams that night about my oh.
Does anyone else feel like this? It's strange because this forum helped me a lot during my journey. I suppose it's a bit like reliving everything with worse 'what ifs'.
Then some days I come on here and feel like I have so much give and help others.
not sure what the point of my post is really just wanted to check in and say hello, happy for inboxes too x
Hope everyone's plodding along.
Just thinking out loud really. I'm having a few low days. A year past sentencing and i should be thinking thats one year on SOR done. But I feel very lonely and sad that it's my children's childhoods I'm counting down. I have a few good friends who don't know and are busy with their own lives. We were advised not to tell them.
I look back over the last 18 months and tell myself I'm amazing for surviving this and coming out the other end. Some days I'm stronger, today is not one of these days.
These things just set me off again:
I'm struggling to find somewhere in our budget for a few days away and that oh is allowed.
Children starting new school and worried what the DSL will think about us.
Doubting myself that I've done the right thing staying (2 weeks ago I was 90% sure I had done the right thing).
I don't come on here very often anymore, sometimes I think it's a bit of denial on my part and other stories makes me overthink what other scenarios might happen / could happen. Which may sound selfish but after been on the forum I always have terrible dreams that night about my oh.
Does anyone else feel like this? It's strange because this forum helped me a lot during my journey. I suppose it's a bit like reliving everything with worse 'what ifs'.
Then some days I come on here and feel like I have so much give and help others.
not sure what the point of my post is really just wanted to check in and say hello, happy for inboxes too x
Hey you ! 6 months after sentencing, although we've no children together, I still asked myself if I'm doing the right thing . I honestly love him and see him as my person , but then restrictions come into place and I doubt everything. Yes sometimes the forem triggers me too , but everyone has different journeys and just because it happened to them , as horrific some of the stories are , doesn't mean it's gonna be your story . We are gonna have couple counselling soon to see if it helps . Maybe try this ? Lovely to hear from you x
Hi newlady,
did you find a couples counsellor that specialises in this crime and if so where did you find them please? It is very much on my to do list once I've finished my own counselling x
did you find a couples counsellor that specialises in this crime and if so where did you find them please? It is very much on my to do list once I've finished my own counselling x