Torn between allowing son to return home
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Hi all,
I'm looking for advice regarding our son returning to the family home. He had devices seized after downloading and uploading iioc. He has attended a voluntary interview and told us he's been released under investigation (no bail conditions) after an initial screen identified an in depth forensic screen is required on one of his devices; the rest were returned. Cat A image was mentioned however he has stated the police told him very little.
We are unsure if he is being completely honest at this point. Children's services contacted us when the devices were seized as we have two younger children at home. They were satisfied as our son lived away from home at uni and we would not allow contact and closed the case.
Now he is nearing the end of his last year at uni and was due to return home this month. We are unsure whether to allow this due to the contact implications as we absolutely couldn't guarantee supervised contact with his younger siblings and also if this would even be allowed whilst under investigation. As he's an adult we've been told very little other than cat A iioc and uploading them. He's confident he won't go to prison but I'm not sure how he knows this if the police have not shared Info.
The alleged offending also took place in our home and this has caused us to have trust issues.
If I allow him to come home I worry about a LADO referral as I work with vulnerable children and have his two younger siblings at home.
Any advice would be much appreciated.
I'm looking for advice regarding our son returning to the family home. He had devices seized after downloading and uploading iioc. He has attended a voluntary interview and told us he's been released under investigation (no bail conditions) after an initial screen identified an in depth forensic screen is required on one of his devices; the rest were returned. Cat A image was mentioned however he has stated the police told him very little.
We are unsure if he is being completely honest at this point. Children's services contacted us when the devices were seized as we have two younger children at home. They were satisfied as our son lived away from home at uni and we would not allow contact and closed the case.
Now he is nearing the end of his last year at uni and was due to return home this month. We are unsure whether to allow this due to the contact implications as we absolutely couldn't guarantee supervised contact with his younger siblings and also if this would even be allowed whilst under investigation. As he's an adult we've been told very little other than cat A iioc and uploading them. He's confident he won't go to prison but I'm not sure how he knows this if the police have not shared Info.
The alleged offending also took place in our home and this has caused us to have trust issues.
If I allow him to come home I worry about a LADO referral as I work with vulnerable children and have his two younger siblings at home.
Any advice would be much appreciated.
My sons offending was picked up by LADO and I was immediately suspended........ he lived with us.
I was threatened with LADO (I'm a student nurse) but because I had been completely honest with my university it was felt pointless. I had previously asked on this forum if anyone works for the NHS and the consensus was, if you're honest with your employer, they tend to be very supportive.
With regards to him coming home, I think if he does, you should be prepared for SS to reopen the case.
With regards to him coming home, I think if he does, you should be prepared for SS to reopen the case.
Thanks so much for your replies.
I asked the Social Worker about informing my employer of the investigation and they said it's not necessary if I maintain no contact between my Son and his siblings and he is not currently living in the home.
However I'm terrified of my younger children being subject to children's services assessments and also losing my job if I allow him home. I am trying to be realistic and absolutely see the risks he may pose and therefore won't allow him to come home for my younger children's sake. But I also cannot afford to lose my career. I feel that makes me selfish, I feel so guilty but I feel it's the right thing. He maintains innocence and said it was an accident and mistake but if the police have sent his device for an in depth forensic screen I can't help but fear the worst.
Thank you again for responding.
I asked the Social Worker about informing my employer of the investigation and they said it's not necessary if I maintain no contact between my Son and his siblings and he is not currently living in the home.
However I'm terrified of my younger children being subject to children's services assessments and also losing my job if I allow him home. I am trying to be realistic and absolutely see the risks he may pose and therefore won't allow him to come home for my younger children's sake. But I also cannot afford to lose my career. I feel that makes me selfish, I feel so guilty but I feel it's the right thing. He maintains innocence and said it was an accident and mistake but if the police have sent his device for an in depth forensic screen I can't help but fear the worst.
Thank you again for responding.
I would suggest talking to the safeguarding lead at your work.
unless the vulnerable children you work with are in your house, I don't know if it matters who lives there. I know childminders can't continue to work; but guilt by association ended 5 years ago, so you may not automatically lose your job.
there is also sotired here, who is a teacher and her son is the offender and she has other children at home. She might be more help??
unless the vulnerable children you work with are in your house, I don't know if it matters who lives there. I know childminders can't continue to work; but guilt by association ended 5 years ago, so you may not automatically lose your job.
there is also sotired here, who is a teacher and her son is the offender and she has other children at home. She might be more help??