Come out in the wash!!
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So the only person in my family that knows my situation is my sister. I had a text from her yesterday saying "look after yourself and hopefully everything will come out in the wash"
Wtaf!!! I wish it was that simple!!!
Does people's sympathy really dwindle that easily?
Wtaf!!! I wish it was that simple!!!
Does people's sympathy really dwindle that easily?
The answer to that is yes and no. I've had relatives say this is boring to talk about, well all kinds of things. Sometimes my jaw drops at what people say to me, I wonder if people think before they speak. But also I think it's hard for people to know what to say, they struggle to understand, it's hard for all who know.
Yes, I do think people don't really know what to say. I told quite a lot of people and everyone is offering support. But I don't even know what to ask for in terms of support.
Mata, it sounds like your sister was probably TRYING to be supportive but isn't sure of what to say. There's no hard and fast rule on how to support in this situation, but it's also impossible as different people need different things.
I've had a range of responses from the (very few) people I've told. My closest friend in the world is aware and resorts to humour to help me get through things, as she knows that's how I cope! For anyone else, they might take her humour as being insensitive, but I find it picks me up. At the other end of the spectrum, I was told by my boss that I need to learn to separate work from home, as it's impacting on my work and I need to just "get on with it" - I wish!!
I've not told anyone recently - I've kept those "in the know" to a minimum, but if and when I tell anyone else, I think I will do so and explain that it's ok to not know what to say, that sometimes just a "hi" or "I'm thinking of you" is all I need, and if I want to talk in more depth, I'll initiate it.
I've had a range of responses from the (very few) people I've told. My closest friend in the world is aware and resorts to humour to help me get through things, as she knows that's how I cope! For anyone else, they might take her humour as being insensitive, but I find it picks me up. At the other end of the spectrum, I was told by my boss that I need to learn to separate work from home, as it's impacting on my work and I need to just "get on with it" - I wish!!
I've not told anyone recently - I've kept those "in the know" to a minimum, but if and when I tell anyone else, I think I will do so and explain that it's ok to not know what to say, that sometimes just a "hi" or "I'm thinking of you" is all I need, and if I want to talk in more depth, I'll initiate it.
Ha I know what you mean but I do prefer it when friends totally ‘de-serious’ the situation by saying stuff like that. I have enough of the reaction of it’s a terrible thing to be accused of, ‘oh the serious allegations’ ‘life changing’ etc etc. I know that but when people pooh pooh it it puts it into perspective for me. He’s not a child killer, he’s not waiting to pounce on kids in the local park, he’s not someone who’s almost non human....life goes on, I wish more people had that attitude.
I did say to my husband of our son "Well at least I'm not Ian Huntley's mum" in a weird lighten the mood kind of way. We're the only 2 people who know at the moment and the lighten the mood moments are few and far between.