2 1/2 years and still waiting for invesrigation
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Hi all,
I haven't been on here in a very long time.
we had the knock 2 1/2 years ago, still
waiting for the outcome of an investigation. The OIC has changed twice due to the light of time. In that time my husband has moved out but wants to move home. Is carrying on to the outside world like everything is normal. Heading out and about and working.
me on the other hand have anxiety and had to start medication having never experienced this before. Have been in hospital with high blood pressure and heart problems diagnosed with severe stress. I am Lying to everyone in my life and really can't take anymore of this shit show.
the time frame so far is just cruel.
i am So frightened of the fall out when everyone finds out about this and more that I have kept quiet altho I have separated from him he is still seen about and about with our children a lot.
i am trying to find the strength to cut my ties. Sell our lovely big house etc....... but I literally will be all on my own, I have no family and the amazing friends I have got will turn their backs for me keeping his flight secret!
life is so unfair. I really don't know which way to turn
I haven't been on here in a very long time.
we had the knock 2 1/2 years ago, still
waiting for the outcome of an investigation. The OIC has changed twice due to the light of time. In that time my husband has moved out but wants to move home. Is carrying on to the outside world like everything is normal. Heading out and about and working.
me on the other hand have anxiety and had to start medication having never experienced this before. Have been in hospital with high blood pressure and heart problems diagnosed with severe stress. I am Lying to everyone in my life and really can't take anymore of this shit show.
the time frame so far is just cruel.
i am So frightened of the fall out when everyone finds out about this and more that I have kept quiet altho I have separated from him he is still seen about and about with our children a lot.
i am trying to find the strength to cut my ties. Sell our lovely big house etc....... but I literally will be all on my own, I have no family and the amazing friends I have got will turn their backs for me keeping his flight secret!
life is so unfair. I really don't know which way to turn
Hi starry
2 1/2 years is so long it's not fair that we're just all expect to put our life's on hold, it's like they don't care abouts us all just sat waiting to move on. We're nearly 11 months now and still no where near the other side, we were told a few weeks ago by the oic that my husbands stuff is still in a queue waiting.
I too worry about what people will think if this gets out, especially as we've been trying to carry on as normal for the sake of our children. I feel so guilty, he came to our daughters dance show and was chatting away to other parents like normal and I couldn't stop thinking they'll all gonna hate me.
2 1/2 years is so long it's not fair that we're just all expect to put our life's on hold, it's like they don't care abouts us all just sat waiting to move on. We're nearly 11 months now and still no where near the other side, we were told a few weeks ago by the oic that my husbands stuff is still in a queue waiting.
I too worry about what people will think if this gets out, especially as we've been trying to carry on as normal for the sake of our children. I feel so guilty, he came to our daughters dance show and was chatting away to other parents like normal and I couldn't stop thinking they'll all gonna hate me.
Confused wife I am the same, carrying on as normal but fearful of the social repercussions on me and our child if people find out I allowed him to go to things. We're minimising his access to social events but sometimes it's not possible to avoid engagements, such as extended family gatherings (you can be ill or working for all of them!)
It's hard to know what to do for the best
It's hard to know what to do for the best
Thank you both for replying, my feelings exactly.
So so hard on us and our children, I feelmlike il be judged whatever I do.
So so hard on us and our children, I feelmlike il be judged whatever I do.
I cannot imagine how it feels to live in limbo all this time, my thoughts are with you. In regards to your friends, if it does all come to light (no guarantee it even will) you can lean on the fact that investigation ≠ guilt and you wasn't sure he had even done what he was accused of. You can spin whatever narrative you like on your life to make it easier for you, I pride myself on being honest but in circumstances like this sometimes a lie is necessary for peace and normality. Even though my partner was acquitted I haven't told any friends because there's always a fear of "there's no smoke without fire" and it's just not worth it. I hope you manage to sort your house, there's no fallout once the investigation is done and you have a happy future ahead of you. Big hugs xx
We are also 2.5 years in from the knock. My OH had a second interview in December 2022 and they said it would be sent to CPS after that but not heard anything since. We are still together but it really has taken its toll. I have days where everything is fine and life goes on as normal but then days where I'm extremely anxious about the future ( mainly the threat of media and how people will react knowing I've stayed with him) I hope you get answers soon as this limbo is horrible isn't it!
Thank you.
the limbo is just awful, it's so cruel to the innocent party.
it actually feels worse than it do at the start if that makes sense.
it doesn't help that he thinks I'm over thinking things and dramatising things and I am being blamed for the being the one to break up the family. His counsellor has given him hope that families can get through and he says I haven't made the effort
thinking of everyone in this boat
the limbo is just awful, it's so cruel to the innocent party.
it actually feels worse than it do at the start if that makes sense.
it doesn't help that he thinks I'm over thinking things and dramatising things and I am being blamed for the being the one to break up the family. His counsellor has given him hope that families can get through and he says I haven't made the effort
thinking of everyone in this boat