How do you cope with guilt
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Hey,
So it's almost a week since he broke the news to me, and the inital shock has worn off. It also feels asthough he's moved out of the danger zone of suicide, but I'm cautious about declaring that over, as he still needs to wait to hear back from employers etc about work, and losing it would be a major blow.
Now I'm a bit clearer from the onslaught of emotion when I was first told I am finding a new emotion emerging, which is guilt.
We were face timing the other day and he made a joke and I laughed, and then I immediately felt guilty for laughing when there are victims out there. When I saw him smile, part of me was glad because I was so worried at one point he would try to harm himself badly, but another part of me though "how can you smile?"
I know as a human who is trying to atone for what he did and change he does not have to live a life with no happieness ever, but I'm struggling with my own feelings of guilt if I feel happy, as well as judging him even if it's for a second.
I was brought up in a very religious family although I am not religious now myself, so I guess that might be something to do with it. But I'd love to hear about any ways you have found to deal with the guilt.
Thank you
So it's almost a week since he broke the news to me, and the inital shock has worn off. It also feels asthough he's moved out of the danger zone of suicide, but I'm cautious about declaring that over, as he still needs to wait to hear back from employers etc about work, and losing it would be a major blow.
Now I'm a bit clearer from the onslaught of emotion when I was first told I am finding a new emotion emerging, which is guilt.
We were face timing the other day and he made a joke and I laughed, and then I immediately felt guilty for laughing when there are victims out there. When I saw him smile, part of me was glad because I was so worried at one point he would try to harm himself badly, but another part of me though "how can you smile?"
I know as a human who is trying to atone for what he did and change he does not have to live a life with no happieness ever, but I'm struggling with my own feelings of guilt if I feel happy, as well as judging him even if it's for a second.
I was brought up in a very religious family although I am not religious now myself, so I guess that might be something to do with it. But I'd love to hear about any ways you have found to deal with the guilt.
Thank you
It's really hard, and I sometimes struggle to look kids in the eye knowing what I know my person has looked at.
the thing religion taught me was to hate the sim, love the sinner. This helps me to function, but once things have settled down I should like to do something more to support victims (and the LFF)
x
the thing religion taught me was to hate the sim, love the sinner. This helps me to function, but once things have settled down I should like to do something more to support victims (and the LFF)
x
You talk of smiles. I remember vividly the sadness of not seeing my sons smile or hearing him laugh, the pain of that decline was devastating for me.. To think I use to tell him for laughing too loud as he watched his favourite sitcoms on tv.
Because you laugh/smile it doesn't mean the pain or consequences of this horrible journey, is put aside or forgotten it's far from that.....
Please don't feel guilty you can smile and laugh, my lovely, it's not a crime xxxxx ;-)
Because you laugh/smile it doesn't mean the pain or consequences of this horrible journey, is put aside or forgotten it's far from that.....
Please don't feel guilty you can smile and laugh, my lovely, it's not a crime xxxxx ;-)
Thanks, for your replies. There really is nothing that can prepaire you for this.