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Fridays check in xx

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Upset mum

Member since
June 2020

2396 posts

Posted Fri June 9, 2023 3:42pmReport post

Afternoon lovlies

My usual check in to see how you are all keeping x

I'm gutted after reading one of the ladies outcome with her OH today but I know you will all be there to offer help and support when she is ready xx

A busy week and today I got confirmation we move in just under 3 weeks to my rental house so so much to get organized before then god help my daughter and her boyfriend having to pack up there stuff:-)

We have a visit with my son tomorrow and his brother is also coming so no doubt the hungry catappiler will be in full force xx

The sun has been out and hopefully will stay for a while xx

K4

Member since
October 2022

611 posts

Posted Fri June 9, 2023 4:06pmReport post

I do so love your hungry caterpillar lists!!



x

Inthemoment

Member since
February 2023

358 posts

Posted Fri June 9, 2023 4:55pmReport post

It all feels so real this week

We've had the disclosure of a handful of cat a and b images and a report of a further dozen indicative items (no idea what this means)

I've had the shock of realising they are investigating distribution as well as possession and 'making' (downloading). My person is adamant there's been no distribution but I don't know how they prove that either way. The sentencing seems horrific for distribution and I'm really scared about that.

We've got the 2nd interview coming up next week

We've listed the house for sale so have to deal with neighbours making polite chitchat about us leaving

I'm feeling really distressed by the recent sentences people have got on the forum and terribly sorry for the women and children impacted by this. To be honest I feel sorry for the perpetrators too. I feel like 99% of them would never have wanted to do this/put their loved ones in this position. It must be an awful place they are in to commit these offences.

I wish the helpline was open over the weekend as it feels so lonely and I'm at work so can't ring before 5pm (why do things always come to a head on a Friday)

Flower

Member since
February 2023

103 posts

Posted Fri June 9, 2023 5:14pmReport post

I found myself feeling broken, hopeless, helpless, and lost this week. It's really hard to watch the family and the home I built, slip through my fingers.

Upset mum

Member since
June 2020

2396 posts

Posted Fri June 9, 2023 5:23pmReport post

Inthemoment x

Honestly listening to what sentances others have been given really does set the anxiety in to overdrive but each situation are never identical even if the crimes are the same the outcome can be so so different, but of course it will worry you that is totally normal xx

Even with the second interview and you know the charges until it goes to court no one can tell you what he will get , this bloomin journey is so hard but you will get through it honestly xx

Can you take a break at work to perhaps be able to call the helpline?xx

Edited Fri June 9, 2023 5:28pm

Upset mum

Member since
June 2020

2396 posts

Posted Fri June 9, 2023 5:27pmReport post

Aww flower I just wanted to send you a huge fluffy hug that engulfs you with strength and warmth to let you know you are not alone even though it feels like everything is falling apart you will honestly find the strength to get through each day , you will of course have days of feeling lost and low, do you have support from friends and family?xx

Upset mum

Member since
June 2020

2396 posts

Posted Fri June 9, 2023 5:29pmReport post

K4 x

Hope your doing ok x

It's a bloomin expensive list lol x but worth every penny seen him eat xx

Seaside

Member since
July 2022

560 posts

Posted Fri June 9, 2023 5:34pmReport post

Upset I love the hungry caterpillar lists and hope you have a good visit with your son.

Been a difficult week as we have a family member who is seriously ill at present so trying to deal with that situation.

I have also been very upset and anxious because we were with some family members (who know nothing whatsoever about our situation )and the conversation turned to Phillip Schofield - one person then started expressing his opinion and using the P word to describe PS.

I managed to divert the conversation but found myself thinking that if they knew what had happened they would view my son in the same way despite having known him since he was 3 years old and this reinforced the fact that they must never ever know and we have to live a lie for the rest of our lives.

Inthemoment

Member since
February 2023

358 posts

Posted Fri June 9, 2023 5:35pmReport post

Thanks upset mum, it's just been a nightmare week, we've had inspectors in and I'm responsible for a lot of the reporting so pressure has been coming from every direction. I will hopefully be able to catch a break next week and give them a call.

Flower, you've captured my exact thoughts. We'd built an amazing life, but the foundations were false and now it is falling :(

I worry so much for my little one

Determined to enjoy some sunshine this weekend and make some memories

Saphire7

Member since
March 2023

20 posts

Posted Fri June 9, 2023 5:39pmReport post

We had a right balls up with the court this week, now got to wait again to see what happens, I hate the not being in control of anything. And I too have been getting anxious about recent sentences.

River

Member since
April 2023

68 posts

Posted Fri June 9, 2023 6:09pmReport post

Hey Upset Mum,

Always look forward to your Friday check ins. Hope you have a good visit tomorrow - looking forward to hearing the list of treats your son munches through. Any buttered crumpets??

Wishing you all the best for the move. Moving house is always so stressful. Hope it goes smoothly for you! I cannot stress the importance of hiring a man with a van - it took me years to finally cave and hire one after years of DIYing flat moves, but I finally hired one during my most recent move and they were a god send!

This week has been tough and long and I'm glad it's finally the weekend. Xx

Edited Fri June 9, 2023 6:10pm

Smile through tears

Member since
September 2021

2546 posts

Posted Fri June 9, 2023 7:09pmReport post

All ok here. Had a good week. My son has at last started his gardening NVQ - I'm so proud of him - which might sound weird to some......

Got a nice weekend planned with family - all baby steps......

have a great visit my lovely friend Upset.

everyone try to enjoy the nice weather x love to all....

Seaside

Member since
July 2022

560 posts

Posted Fri June 9, 2023 7:15pmReport post

Aaahh Smile that is fantastic news very well done of your son and you have every reason to be proud of him for doing this.

Hsve a lovely weekend xx

Webb89

Member since
July 2022

438 posts

Posted Fri June 9, 2023 11:15pmReport post

I am also looking forward to the hungry caterpillar list.

My week not too bad. Been on a few walks and going again tomorrow. It is what is keeping me sane at the moment. I seem ok except when i am working and become irriatable and angry. Angry that i am working and he is not. Angry that when he feels tired (oh has health issues since the knock mentally, but also has physical ailments) he has a little snooze. I am battling hayfever where my eyes are hurting and giving me headaches but i have no choice but to battle through and work. Not sure if i can cope with this in the longterm. Though i would still have to work if i was on my own, and probably more!



However, sun is shining and i am walking tomorrow which gets me out of the house. He never goes out so we do not get a break unless i go out. Perhaps one day i will go out and never come back.

Mandymoo

Member since
September 2021

295 posts

Posted Fri June 9, 2023 11:19pmReport post

I've Not had a bad week but I can feel my anxiety starting to come back though as we have sentencing in 2 weeks time and it's already playing on my mind all over again especially in the middle of the night.
my heart goes out to the lady who's partner was sentenced today. I was so hoping for a positive result for her. Just brings it home to me that we really are at the hands of the judge on the day. Xx

Upset mum

Member since
June 2020

2396 posts

Posted Sat June 10, 2023 3:24pmReport post

Seaside xx

I am so sorry your family member is not doing well sending hugs as always xx

The PS media honestly I just wish they would leave him alone but listening to peoples opinions are hard to digest so well done you for diverting the conversation, as you know we have no control over how others react, people have their own views and opinions that's there choice, but look how far you have all come especially your son so try not to worry about what would they think , its not living a lie its about living the new normal and getting through each day as best as you can xx never look back always look at where you all are now xxx

Upset mum

Member since
June 2020

2396 posts

Posted Sat June 10, 2023 3:27pmReport post

Saphire7

The courts delays are the worst, we had it 3 times with my son and I like you hate not been able to control anything but you will get there in the end no matter how hard it is, hugs sent xx

Upset mum

Member since
June 2020

2396 posts

Posted Sat June 10, 2023 3:29pmReport post

Hi River x

I am sorry you have had a tough week xx I hope you are ok though xx

Our visit was lovely, he looks well and was chatting whilst filling his belly :-)

4 toasted crumpets with butter to start with xx

Upset mum

Member since
June 2020

2396 posts

Posted Sat June 10, 2023 3:31pmReport post

Smile my dear friend xx

And so you should be so so proud of your son he is doing so well xx

Have a lovely weekend with your nearest and dearest, raise a glass to your boy xx

Upset mum

Member since
June 2020

2396 posts

Posted Sat June 10, 2023 3:39pmReport post

Aww Webb89 x

Please dont think like that :-( you have every right to be angry and the fact you are working all the hours you can and OH is home of course it is bloody unfair, we didn't ask for this but yet we are here , keep walking in the beautiful place you live, collect your thoughts and if you do decide you can't do this anymore then walk away and rebuild you will manage somehow xx

You can always message me if you want to chat xx

The hungry catappiler managed 4 toasted crumpets with butter, 2 warm sausage rolls, a tub of chocolate icecream, a cornnetto, a chocolate muffin, a bag of skittles shared with his sister, a bottle of Oasis, a can of fanta all in 2 hours, then he was going back to his cell for a sleep after the visit before his gym session this afternoon xx

Edited Sat June 10, 2023 3:42pm

Upset mum

Member since
June 2020

2396 posts

Posted Sat June 10, 2023 3:48pmReport post

Hi Mandymoo x

It is only natural for your anxiety to be at a high level as with court looming but as you know we all need it to happen to have closure on this part and then to be able to move on to the next part but as hard as it is you will get through it I promise xx

The saying of think of the worst outcome and pray for the best is so true, no one other than the judge can make the decision but what I can say is even the worst imaginable outcome you will get through it xx

Webb89

Member since
July 2022

438 posts

Posted Sat June 10, 2023 4:24pmReport post

Upset Mum.

It is so kind of you posting individual replies. It did make me laugh reading the list your son managed to eat. Bless him.

sorry was feeling sorry for myself last night. Been for my walk and feeling much better. Looking at joining a gym. Exercise is certainly the key for my mental health.



Heres to everyone having the best week that we can.

K4

Member since
October 2022

611 posts

Posted Sat June 10, 2023 4:45pmReport post

I'm not surprised he went to bed after eating all that!! Honestly, these lists make me giggle and smile so much!!

Thank you.



x

Upset mum

Member since
June 2020

2396 posts

Posted Sat June 10, 2023 4:49pmReport post

Webb89 x

Always here for you and yes you have the right to feel sorry for yourself x if you need me just send me a private message xx

Upset mum

Member since
June 2020

2396 posts

Posted Sat June 10, 2023 4:53pmReport post

K4 x

Honestly I have no idea where he puts it , but I love how much he can cram in, the meals arnt great topped up with his eating disorder, he gets by day by day, it isn't ideal but he certainly enjoys our visits lol xx

Runawaygirl

Member since
March 2023

85 posts

Posted Sat June 10, 2023 6:02pmReport post

Upset Mum - do they not feed him?! But seriously - do they have a toaster or do you buy this for him at a cafe or something?

I'm stressing about next week. OH has a meeting at work about the "knock" and the allegations that he has breached lots of company policies. OH has asked me to dial in and join the meeting and I'm dreaded it quite frankly. The outcome could range from verbal or written warning to termination of employment. Lord knows what we would do (for money) if he is let go.

I keep reminding myself (having read it somewhere on this forum) that I didn't ask for this but was I so bad in a previous life or something? Why did I have to end up in this shi!t. :( And yes, I do still love him and will support him.

Upset mum

Member since
June 2020

2396 posts

Posted Sat June 10, 2023 6:44pmReport post

Evening Runawaygirl x

The prison food is hit and miss and because he has an eating disorder the menu isn't great but he gets by, the canteen he can order from allows him to buy his protein shakes etc but they are costly x so on a visit its always good to see him eat xx

It must be so awful not knowing what work will do but if they are a decent company hopefully they will look at him and not the crime x

Honestly why do we think it must have been something we did that caused us to end up here but as females that is what we do BUT can I just say YOU have done nothing wrong, yep we are here on this shitty journey through no fault of our own so please remember that and be kind to yourself xx

Parkerpoo1

Member since
July 2022

252 posts

Posted Sat June 10, 2023 8:22pmReport post

Post deleted


Edited Thu December 21, 2023 10:08am

Upset mum

Member since
June 2020

2396 posts

Posted Sat June 10, 2023 9:09pmReport post

Parkerpoo1 x

Honestly what you have had to deal with is truly awful, I would deffinatly recommend having cameras fitted x if the police put a marker on your home then it is there duty to respond immediately x it could give you some piece of mind xx

Mandymoo

Member since
September 2021

295 posts

Posted Sat June 10, 2023 11:38pmReport post

Upset mum - thank you, you have a knack of making me feel better xx

Smile through tears

Member since
September 2021

2546 posts

Posted Sun June 11, 2023 5:35amReport post

Runaway girl - the food in each prison varies - so does the portions. In my sons last prison the food was cooked in house (by inmates) and was much better than where he is now where food is 'bought in'. You supplement on food/snacks you personally buy, plus the lads share each others grub, it can be currency! ie a box of teabags for a haircut! Upset will back me up in saying you'd be amazed what can be cooked in a kettle!!!!

Upset - glad your visit went well, bet you certainly needed air conditioning in your car yesterday!!!!! All worth it - great stuff x

Polly Pocket

Member since
May 2022

440 posts

Posted Sun June 11, 2023 1:24pmReport post

Hello you lovely lot :)

Just checking in to say I'm around the place xx

Lovely to hear from you all x

Upset mum

Member since
June 2020

2396 posts

Posted Sun June 11, 2023 2:42pmReport post

Hi Polly xx

Its always lovely to hear from you xx

Hope you are doing ok xx

Polly Pocket

Member since
May 2022

440 posts

Posted Sun June 11, 2023 3:46pmReport post

Yes not too bad at the moment xx just living that limbo life the best we can! It's hard to have a good time with impending doom.. but we try to stay in the moment.

It really is one day at a time x