Anniversary sentencing
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Hi everyone,
Hope you are all ok.
I've never posted on here but my goodness I have read a lot, for nearly 3 years of my life. This forum has been a comfort blanket for the darkest days during this scary, challenging and horrific time that I and all of you reading thought we would never have to go through.
It all began in 2020 for me and due to covid was a very long drawn out process. I never had the mental capacity to post on here but I feel I owe it to myself and to everyone here to say hello and thank you for all your threads that have offered support, advice, love and comfort to a silent reader here.
It was my Dad in our story.
When we got the knock at the door I had to stop watching soaps like Coronstion Street because I felt like I used to watch as an escape from reality of story lines that would never come into my life. But I soon couldn't cope with the crippling anxiety watching anything on the TV relating to similar stories or police dramas. I am sure many of you can relate too, and something that people who aren't going through this understand.
It had been a year since sentencing and it was just as bad as I prepared myself for, if not worse. All over the newspapers, news, social media and my already crushed world felt like there was absolutely no coming back from.
The first week after sentencing was the absolute worst. I had to take time off work and try and work out a plan now that the world knew. I should add, my family and I stuck by my Dad the whole way through. It wasn't easy, and there were times when known of us knew if we were doing the right thing. But we've always been a close family and knew we needed to stick by one another. This made it harder when everyone around us found out. I felt like the house was highlighted in yellow for all to see on a pedal stool and that we were the core of gossiping points for everyone around us.
Sorry, I know I'm rambling but I guess I'm here to say that life does start to get a little easier and better. The steps are so small and life does change, and although I will never be able to get over this properly, our lives are arriving at a new kind of normal which feels more stabilised a year on from sentencing.
If anyone has any questions for me, I am at a place now where I am ready to offer my view from personal experience and I feel I owe it to all of you here for the amount of advice I have read throughout the last 3 years.
Whatever stage you are going through right now, please know that you are strong and you will weather the storm (whichever pathway that might take).
I am so proud of each and everyone of you for being present even though it feels like your world is collapsing around you.
Sending hugs and love xxx
Hope you are all ok.
I've never posted on here but my goodness I have read a lot, for nearly 3 years of my life. This forum has been a comfort blanket for the darkest days during this scary, challenging and horrific time that I and all of you reading thought we would never have to go through.
It all began in 2020 for me and due to covid was a very long drawn out process. I never had the mental capacity to post on here but I feel I owe it to myself and to everyone here to say hello and thank you for all your threads that have offered support, advice, love and comfort to a silent reader here.
It was my Dad in our story.
When we got the knock at the door I had to stop watching soaps like Coronstion Street because I felt like I used to watch as an escape from reality of story lines that would never come into my life. But I soon couldn't cope with the crippling anxiety watching anything on the TV relating to similar stories or police dramas. I am sure many of you can relate too, and something that people who aren't going through this understand.
It had been a year since sentencing and it was just as bad as I prepared myself for, if not worse. All over the newspapers, news, social media and my already crushed world felt like there was absolutely no coming back from.
The first week after sentencing was the absolute worst. I had to take time off work and try and work out a plan now that the world knew. I should add, my family and I stuck by my Dad the whole way through. It wasn't easy, and there were times when known of us knew if we were doing the right thing. But we've always been a close family and knew we needed to stick by one another. This made it harder when everyone around us found out. I felt like the house was highlighted in yellow for all to see on a pedal stool and that we were the core of gossiping points for everyone around us.
Sorry, I know I'm rambling but I guess I'm here to say that life does start to get a little easier and better. The steps are so small and life does change, and although I will never be able to get over this properly, our lives are arriving at a new kind of normal which feels more stabilised a year on from sentencing.
If anyone has any questions for me, I am at a place now where I am ready to offer my view from personal experience and I feel I owe it to all of you here for the amount of advice I have read throughout the last 3 years.
Whatever stage you are going through right now, please know that you are strong and you will weather the storm (whichever pathway that might take).
I am so proud of each and everyone of you for being present even though it feels like your world is collapsing around you.
Sending hugs and love xxx
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Post deleted by user
Mylifenow x
Firstly thank you for been incredibly brave and telling us of your journey xx
You sound incredibly strong (even though it may not have felt like it at times)
I am so pleased you have supported your dad, how is he doing?x
Even though you are past sentancing and the horrific portrayal of what the media reported about your dad you have all managed to get through the toughest journey of your lives and you will continue to thrive as a family, yes a new normal way but with you supporting him speaks volumes of the kind and caring person you are xx
I wish you all the very best as you continue on with your lives xx
Firstly thank you for been incredibly brave and telling us of your journey xx
You sound incredibly strong (even though it may not have felt like it at times)
I am so pleased you have supported your dad, how is he doing?x
Even though you are past sentancing and the horrific portrayal of what the media reported about your dad you have all managed to get through the toughest journey of your lives and you will continue to thrive as a family, yes a new normal way but with you supporting him speaks volumes of the kind and caring person you are xx
I wish you all the very best as you continue on with your lives xx
I really appreciate this being shared.
I try not to remember exact dates, already the (painful) anniversary's are becoming a blur. I just find it personally increases my anxiety and also having a poor memory helps!!!!!
Hi Mylifenow, and thank you for sharing so openly and honestly. Your family sound really wonderfully close although I'm sure you've had many questions to ask and maybe even some doubts about your dad, and here you all are standing by him. I hope he knows what a very lucky man he is!
We haven't been able to be a close family for some years as our son has been in a very difficult marriage which we've been so concerned about. He's been isolated from friends and family through controlling behaviour (not claiming that's any excuse for his offending but we wouldn't be surprised if it was part of the reason which his therapist will tease out hopefully) but since having to come and live with us he has reconnected with us all especially his sisters, and despite the horrors of the situation, we are thankful to now be a much closer family but I know it's not always as simple as that for others so I certainly don't take it for granted but see it as a silver lining in a very dark cloud.
I do identify with your comment about not watching police stuff on TV. I love the theatre and as my OH isn't a fan I often go along by myself (Billy No Mates!!). Literally 2 days after our son had been arrested I had a ticket to see the stage version of Shawshank Redemption. I definitely wasn't keen to see a drama about brutality in prisons!!!! However I decided to go as I told myself it was all about America and nothing like our son's possible future. The play was fine - really inspiring despite the violence - but a lady sitting next to me decided to tell me in the interval how she had taught in a prison and then to my horror told me it was the sex offender's wing. I just wanted her to shut up and go away but kept a polite smile on my face and she then said how surprised she was as these were often really nice men! Then I had to try not to burst into tears!!!!
Thank you again for sharing your story and all the best for your family's future xx
We haven't been able to be a close family for some years as our son has been in a very difficult marriage which we've been so concerned about. He's been isolated from friends and family through controlling behaviour (not claiming that's any excuse for his offending but we wouldn't be surprised if it was part of the reason which his therapist will tease out hopefully) but since having to come and live with us he has reconnected with us all especially his sisters, and despite the horrors of the situation, we are thankful to now be a much closer family but I know it's not always as simple as that for others so I certainly don't take it for granted but see it as a silver lining in a very dark cloud.
I do identify with your comment about not watching police stuff on TV. I love the theatre and as my OH isn't a fan I often go along by myself (Billy No Mates!!). Literally 2 days after our son had been arrested I had a ticket to see the stage version of Shawshank Redemption. I definitely wasn't keen to see a drama about brutality in prisons!!!! However I decided to go as I told myself it was all about America and nothing like our son's possible future. The play was fine - really inspiring despite the violence - but a lady sitting next to me decided to tell me in the interval how she had taught in a prison and then to my horror told me it was the sex offender's wing. I just wanted her to shut up and go away but kept a polite smile on my face and she then said how surprised she was as these were often really nice men! Then I had to try not to burst into tears!!!!
Thank you again for sharing your story and all the best for your family's future xx