Family and Friends Forum

Lish97

Member since
August 2021

49 posts

Posted Mon June 12, 2023 4:13pmReport post

Hi all,

Its been a while since I posted as I've been surprising well.... until today.

I just got a call from my partners mum saying cps has now got the charges after having it for 6 months and everything is in the swing now. I'm terrified as this has been almost 4 years since the first knock. Please help me understand what happens next im extremely scared I have been preparing myself for this but now I have lost all my courage and In panick mode. As we have no children involved I'm in the dark about it all. I'm scared for my partner and scared for myself as I don't know what happens now.



My partner worked with someone who only 3 months ago was charged with similar charges but he's not working there anymore but his partner is I haven't been able to reach out as we didn't want anyone knowing of our situation as well as his work placed reacted in 2 very different ways but I know that 3 months has past as its as if they never happened just a few little comments about him and that's it so it gives me some hope as I've seen the article wrote about him which was forgotten about but I no longer has social media and haven't since the first knock to protect us. What else can I do?



Sending love to all of you xx

K4

Member since
October 2022

611 posts

Posted Mon June 12, 2023 7:37pmReport post

Cps charges will lead to an appearance at magistrates. I think the date will be set with CPS letter.



depending on what your partner has been charged with and what he pleads, it might finish up in magistrates, or it might go to crown. Going to crown is not bad, as the judges there have more experience of these sorts of cases.



with regard to reaching out, I would personally do it - I would be delighted if someone did for me. But also understand the risks and why you might be hesitant



x

Lish97

Member since
August 2021

49 posts

Posted Mon June 12, 2023 8:05pmReport post

Thank you so much for your reply means alot. Its been years and I've been saying how the amount of time this has taken is awful and I wish they would hurry up and now its hear I wish it wasn't.

I have no idea if it will be custodial or not and I'm terrified if it is custodial as I'll be all alone I'm worried mental and financially can I get any help with that do you know at all. As I may have to move out my home. I've been told that this part happens fast and now I feel unprepared.

Parkerpoo1

Member since
July 2022

252 posts

Posted Tue June 13, 2023 6:26amReport post

Post deleted


Edited Thu December 21, 2023 10:08am

Lish97

Member since
August 2021

49 posts

Posted Tue June 13, 2023 9:43pmReport post

I will defiantly reach out, i work in a small shop with not many staff and I'm scared if they will find out as they all have children. I'm worried ill lose my job. The media is another thing will they post my address? Or his picture. I'm worried about my living situation as we live in a shared house and haven't told them and don't know how they would feel about this, we have had massive issues with roomates a few months ago and the house is back to what it was and now thing will be coming out I feel guilty our house will have to suffer more.

Tomorrow my partner will be having a phone call on the charges he will be receiving I'm so anxious about it as I'll be at work. I feel like my feet have been pulled out from under me and I'm struggling to get back up I keep going from denial and ignoring it to pure panick and worried of what will happen to my partner and me. I'm hope we at least get some answers tomorrow.

Lish97

Member since
August 2021

49 posts

Posted Fri June 16, 2023 3:17pmReport post

Update, we are still waiting for our letter but my partner was told its all the charges from the second interview which includes voyeurism. I'm at work as we speak shaking and feeling sick because I'm so worried about the outcome. I'm not sleeping well just staring at the ceiling as hours go by. My partner is doing well, he's scared but glad it's moving forward as it's been nearly 4 years. I'm trying to be strong for everyone but I'm really struggling.

Runawaygirl

Member since
March 2023

85 posts

Posted Fri June 16, 2023 11:48pmReport post

Hi Lish97

Didn't want to read and not reply. I am gob-smacked that you've been waiting 4 years. That's just awful and must be the longest time I've heard of. We only got the knock earlier this year and to think we might have to wait for 4 years to hear anything further is horrifying.

I'm sorry to hear you're not sleeping well. I've recently been trying the app Unmind and listening to Pink Noise at bed time. I seem to be able to drift off ok but then I'm also running a lot and a couple of glasses of wine before bed seem to help too :)

It's hard to be strong for everyone. Do something for you too. xx

Lish97

Member since
August 2021

49 posts

Posted Sun June 18, 2023 7:25pmReport post

Hi thank you, yeah this has been so long they gave us very little information these last few years just when they needed to speak to my partner.

Everyday I'm constantly getting butterflies that feel like I'm on a rollercoster and my heart starts racing. I'm so nervous on what to do if this hits media, work worries me and my housemates as we live in a shared house.

I will feel more at ease once the sentencing is out the way as I've spent years now living in the unknown even forgetting what's happening sometimes. And the thought of being able to build a different life is the light at the end for me.



I will have a look into that thank you :)