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No feelings towards OH

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Jotieflower

Member since
June 2023

16 posts

Posted Fri June 16, 2023 9:58pmReport post

Has anyone been through this before? It's been only 1.5 weeks since the knock... two days ago I stopped crying, Yesterday was pure anger and today I feel nothing towards my Ex. I don't miss him, the house feels like mine, when I think of him I feel nothing. Today I allowed a 10 min call between him and the kids , I thought when I see his face and hear his voice I would be full of some sort of emotion.... I felt nothing. My heart wasn't pounding , I wasn't anxious I was just keeping time.

What is going on?

KMF

Member since
January 2023

10 posts

Posted Fri June 16, 2023 10:40pmReport post

Hi there,

I think I know exactly how you feel/ felt. I was just angry for months, the sadness would come and go but the anger always remained. I have been seeing a psycologist for 4 months now (6 months post knock) and she explained its very much a coping mechinism/ self preservation. In my eyes, sadness only gets you so far, have a cry and move on.. but anger can linger and for some reason I have felt that the easier emotion.

I unfortunatly have felt nothing towards anyone since the knock, other than anger/ frustration. Haven't taken it out on anyone, I would rather put phone on silent and ignore the world. Again, this was put down to a coping mechinism. And if we are feeling nothing towards people then no one can let you down... right?! That's been my logic anyway.

We have been betrayed and hurt by the one person who we least expected it from. That takes a long time to heal, and that healing process can look very different for everyone. I would recommend some counselling, so you can get it all out in a safe space and have someone validate your thoughts/ feelings etc. I was scared I would always feel nothing towards my friends and family (minus my kids who I have become even more protective and loving over) but she assured me that I was healing, and that may take some time.

You are delaing with A LOT so maybe the easier way to feel about your OH is nothing. Thats your way of dealing with that for now. Makes total sense to me!! Or maybe I am messed up too.... :) Take care of yourself and do/ say/ feel whatever you need to do, to get through this storm.

Love K x

Jotieflower

Member since
June 2023

16 posts

Posted Sat June 17, 2023 6:17amReport post

Thank you KMF. So good to know someone else has gone through this. Its a strange position to be in where I'm reading posts in this forum and I am not able to relate.

I guess it's like going into survival mode. I have my first counselling session next week.



Thank you for your post x

K4

Member since
October 2022

611 posts

Posted Sat June 17, 2023 7:25amReport post

It reminds me of being a teenager in that I have such a range of emotions,and I don't understand them, and they come and go with no rhyme nor reason.

Bitterbean

Member since
December 2021

635 posts

Posted Sun June 18, 2023 2:55pmReport post

I have nothing to add other than I can identify with all of the feelings everyone has described in this thread.

Nemesis

Member since
July 2021

125 posts

Posted Sun June 18, 2023 8:24pmReport post

I completely get these posts.

my house felt.... happier after a few weeks. Of course the children missed him.... but it certainly wasn't the emotions felt by many others.



I soon realised why.

But for some on this thread it is early days. It took me 2 years to realise the full truth. And perhaps many more will follow. Deep breaths and be kind to yourselves.

Gardener93

Member since
May 2022

47 posts

Posted Tue June 20, 2023 6:55amReport post

You might be completely disassociated with it all. I remember being similar between like weeks 2-10. I just wasn't reacting to any of it, I had turned into a zombie single handedly raising the baby, I was shattered , sad, my emotions and my life was on hold.

My coping mechanism at the start was the disassociating stuff but subconsciously. I found the weight of it all so unbearable I shut down and closed off.

It will get better. <3

Edited Tue June 20, 2023 6:55am

Still_in_shock

Member since
June 2023

14 posts

Posted Tue June 20, 2023 10:23amReport post

Yes I remember the feeling of nothingness and numbness. I always thought seeing photos of my ex would bring back so many emotions but our brains do whatever they need to do to protect us. You sound like you're doing brilliantly for you and your kids.