Is there an end to this?
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It has been a month since my partner had his computer taken by the police. He was put on police bail which we were told would be for 3 months. As he isn't allowed to be with my daughter unsupervised as she is under 18, he is sleeping in the car as he has nowhere else to go.
We have just been managing to get by and I've been trying to hold things together, but today he has gone really down after speaking to his counsellor. I thought they were supposed to be making him feel better, but today she upset my partner by saying this could go on longer than 3 months.
I am still trying to understand how this has happened as he has never been in trouble with the police before and has always been law abiding. I am struggling to hold things together and wondering how long I can.
We have just been managing to get by and I've been trying to hold things together, but today he has gone really down after speaking to his counsellor. I thought they were supposed to be making him feel better, but today she upset my partner by saying this could go on longer than 3 months.
I am still trying to understand how this has happened as he has never been in trouble with the police before and has always been law abiding. I am struggling to hold things together and wondering how long I can.
Please consider reposting this under the discussion and support tab as you'll get more replies there. I'm sure the counsellor didn't mean to upset your husband but was just warning you that this will probably go on for a long time. Our case is currently coming up to 2 years and lots of other women on here have been waiting a long time. Xx
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Hi Dawn - hope you see the suggestion to repost on the Discussion and support forum so more people read and reply.
I just wanted to say that I'm so sorry to hear you're going through this and that your partner is having to sleep in the car because of his bail conditions. The 3 months would refer to the time allowed for bail before it has to be extended and there should be some paperwork with the date that your partner has to speak to the Officer in Charge of his case to be given a new date or sometimes it changes to being 'Released under Investigation' in which case the bail conditions cease - but if you have children that's when a social worker will probably make contact, if they haven't already, to look at safeguarding the children. I'm sorry that this isn't good news for you as you were probably hanging on for that 3 months to be up - and occasionally things do move quickly, but the norm is for this to drag on. I think it's important for your partner to have somewhere to sleep other than his car, do you have anyone you trust enough to tell what's happening who doesn't have any under 18 year olds?
Would you feel comfortable speaking to someone on the Helpline here? Lots of people have found that really helpful as a safe place to offload. Could your partner speak to his GP as it sounds as if he may well need some help with his mental health.
Sorry not to have anything more positive to share. We are just about approaching 6 months in our son's case with no progress in sight yet so it's a long slog I'm afraid.
I just wanted to say that I'm so sorry to hear you're going through this and that your partner is having to sleep in the car because of his bail conditions. The 3 months would refer to the time allowed for bail before it has to be extended and there should be some paperwork with the date that your partner has to speak to the Officer in Charge of his case to be given a new date or sometimes it changes to being 'Released under Investigation' in which case the bail conditions cease - but if you have children that's when a social worker will probably make contact, if they haven't already, to look at safeguarding the children. I'm sorry that this isn't good news for you as you were probably hanging on for that 3 months to be up - and occasionally things do move quickly, but the norm is for this to drag on. I think it's important for your partner to have somewhere to sleep other than his car, do you have anyone you trust enough to tell what's happening who doesn't have any under 18 year olds?
Would you feel comfortable speaking to someone on the Helpline here? Lots of people have found that really helpful as a safe place to offload. Could your partner speak to his GP as it sounds as if he may well need some help with his mental health.
Sorry not to have anything more positive to share. We are just about approaching 6 months in our son's case with no progress in sight yet so it's a long slog I'm afraid.
Whoever told you it would all be sorted in 3 months shouldn't have said that. We got told it would be barely any time and it took nearly 18 months there are a few on here I've seen done in under a year but most seem to be roughly two years or longer. It's just a waiting game of any development. Has he got no family he could stay with he can't be sleeping in his car for what could be a long time. Could he go into temporary housing as he is classed as homeless? You could speak to unlock they maybe able to help
I'm really sorry to be the bearer of bad news, but you need to get him somewhere to live.
We have been on repeat bail for 18 months so far..
We have been on repeat bail for 18 months so far..
Thanks for taking the time to reply.
He doesn't have any family and the closest friend he has lives 4 hours away. He used to talk to him every day but since this he hasn't talked to him much. I've told him to check in with him for his mental health more than anything but he doesn't feel able to yet. He has had the offer of a room, from one of my friends but he doesn't know her and I don't think he wants to impose on her. Framework are supposed to be contacting him on Thursday, so fingers crossed they can sort something out.
His counsellor referred him to his GP for his depression, but the earliest date they said they could book him in is 3 July.
He doesn't have any family and the closest friend he has lives 4 hours away. He used to talk to him every day but since this he hasn't talked to him much. I've told him to check in with him for his mental health more than anything but he doesn't feel able to yet. He has had the offer of a room, from one of my friends but he doesn't know her and I don't think he wants to impose on her. Framework are supposed to be contacting him on Thursday, so fingers crossed they can sort something out.
His counsellor referred him to his GP for his depression, but the earliest date they said they could book him in is 3 July.