Family and Friends Forum

Hi Smudgekin, I don't believe you have messaging enabled yet so don't be disheartened if no one gets back to you

I guess it's public because a lot of people read but don't post, and it aims to support everyone. It's quite hard to find if you don't know it exists which gives me reassurance

Hope you are doing ok. I am standing by my person and am lucky to have the full support of both sides of my family. I'm sure others will reply who have felt less supported with tips of how to handle it

Hi,

I can completely understand your fear in being identified. I've been posting for about two and a half years and haven't had anyone target me in any way. Once your posts appear without being moderated then you'll be able to use the private messaging function. Perhaps it might help you if anyone willing to use private messaging gives you a brief overview of their situation so that when you're able to use private messages you can reach out to the ones who are/have been in a similar situation to yourself.

In my case my partner was arrested and charged for sexual communication with a minor nearly three years ago. I was three months pregnant with our daughter, I also have two older children from a previous relationship. He was remanded until sentencing six months later. I ended the relationship but still supported him as a friend and my daughters father. We're now over two years post sentencing, I supervise contact with our daughter and ss have closed the case on the understanding that we go back to them if/when he moves back in. We are working on our relationship and have support from his family, my family support myself and my children and some will ask about him but others including my older children don't want anything to do with him but have made it clear that they would remain in my life if he moves back in.

You don't have to go into specifics on the forum, you could ask for people to share their experiences on certain things you are facing or are concerned about facing in the future; social services involvement, charges, sentencing, courses for both yourself and your person. I know that there is a lot of information on here about these topics but if you ask about people's experiences then you should meet the threshold for private messaging xxx

I inderstand what you mean. But I suppose it is the only way. And if someone wants to scam they will anyway.

The only people who would try and identify me is solicitors acting for my ex as they were unethical, and even the ombudsman agreed.

amd I suppose my exs family. Bearing in mind none of them know about his crime it is unlikely. I suppose if if his mum or dad are reading it they should know the court matter was never important but I got access to information which meant I know now the depth of their lies. And I learnt things which made their comments about their grandkids ludicrous and disgusting.

And if anyone else works it out they will probably semd me to a retreat as many have said it is amazing I am still standing. Us girls are strong though and this forum has been great for support and information.

if I post something 'detailed' which if a family member saw could poss put two and two together - I just erase it within a couple of days. Anything else I leave on the forum.

private messaging is brilliant and I have made two very close friends since using it ....

My lovely, I would really hope that people don't use the forum to use things against people. But I must as

it I am cautious about things, but it is also important that all sides are shown. Many stay, many leave and sometimes we don't understand reasons etc.

but I suppose that is Norma for groups of women. Opinionated,and see our opinions as correct (in a nice way). And this is such a emotive crime with huge ramifications for us, in many ways.

but the forum is so helpful for information, advice, guidance and a hand hold,

Share what you feel right to do.



my ex was communication, and then images. 4 years, and some proven some not proven in a criminal law. I have been to family court 3 times, represented myself. My kids are amazing. I saw in their school book that they are most proud of me ... but we also went somewhere recently and honestly it was hilarious (scary slides), and I couldn't stop Laughing (in fear). But they said, mum... we haven't seen you laugh so much in ages...



so I have started to build our future. We are homeless, long story, we relocated, I left my amazing career... but I needed to put my children in a place of safety. We are growing, and gaining our strength. But I have also learnt to protect myself. I won't trust people who broke that. I will be civil, I will facilitate things, but the relationship before the knock has gone. Everyone makes choices, but lies.... nah!



so it does take time to feel comfortable. I became a mum due to another forum and the support there so I suppose that is why i use this. To gain support, and knowledge.

But you will have lots of support here, and do what you few comfortable with.



it is early stages for you, does it get easier?? Not sure.... but the routine comes, but for me, the stigma and humiliation has been horrendous. Some are lucky with no reporting... but I wasn't... and twice ... due to updates... and for the kids.... that is awful.


so he kind to yourself, keep your strength for whatever is ahead x

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