Family and Friends Forum

Today was my 1 year since the knock. Have been feeling anxious all week. All the emotions came back to the surface. The visor decided it was a good day to do a spot check. This destroyed me this morning, I was a wreck. It felt like the knock all over again. I had already booked it as leave thankfully.



I hope you have a better day tomorrow. Sending you hugs to get you through the day. X

Confused and Webb sending you both so much love and strength this journey is so hard and all it takes is one thing to put you back to the experience of the knock.

I hate the visor visits and fortunately have managed to be absent so far as they've been prearranged but if we have an unannounced one then I will just leave the house until he's gone because I don't want to have anything to do with him.

Take care of yourselves and tomorrow will be a better day xx

Post deleted

Enjoy your lunch xxxxx

i try my best not to pin point dates, it just resurfaces everything.

Confused and worried & parkerpoo1. I hope today went well for you both and you managed to have a nice day.

apart from the awful visit went out with OH it was nice. Just to forget about everything for a couple of hours. Been the first time in a year we have been out, except to walk our dogs. I wanted something to be a memory other than the knock!

Lovely Ladies x

The Anniversary is always full of dread and despair, I hate Thursdays with a passion at 6 27 am our lives changed forever, but we are settled in to a new normal, my son is ok he has adjusted well to his new normal, he has low days but that is understandable, so long as he is ok then so am I and his sister and older brother x take a day at a time , xxx

I feel like the body knows when an anniversary date is coming up. All those feeling resurface like muscle memory. You've made it through the first year. That's a huge achievement and something to be incredibly proud of x

It's weird, I don't remember the date of the knock at all. I remember the month, and that it was quite a nice day, weather wise. I remember that I was hanging out the sheets on the line and that I'd just heard Frank sinatra singing New York, New York on the radio. The rest is just a blur, fragments of things that happened and what was said. They were there for 8 hours, rummaging around and bagging stuff up. That's why I worry that although they didn't find much, the police twill be going for it in order to get something back for the time spent and number of people involved. The house seemed full of people. I'm surprised It didn't feel more violated, but I cleaned it all thoroughly afterwards and I've been clearing out and decorating ever since. Afterwrds I found a pack of their plastic gloves in one my adult children's old bedrooms.

With hindsight I wished I suggested they search under the floor in the crawl space. They wouldn't have found anything, but it's dead mucky and unpleasant under there! ;-)

I remember our 'knock' day being a sweltering hot day. They were dripping in sweat as they raped our home. They put on a false face of empathy but I could see straight through it. Was a day I lost all respect for the police.

Having that out of control feeling was terrifying - a time I try to put aside......

Smile, that sounds so awful. The sweating especially, I don't know why. Finding a pack of their gloves upset me, as though they thought there was something dirty about our home (it's not spotless, but no more messy and grubby than anyone else's I wouldn't think.)