I want a divorce, but he won't leave
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My husband has been charged for downloading iioc for the second time. He was arrested (for the second time) almost two years ago now, but he hasn't been sentenced yet. It might go to trial. The first time I supported him. We moved away from where I had family and friends so we could start a new life. I thought he would change. I was so wrong. The second time round, I have still supported him, for the sake of our children. I know he is only an online offender. However, our relationship has completely broken down and I can't bear to live under the same roof again. He says he wants to wait until all the troubles are over. But I want it all to end now.
Our children still don't know anything. I managed to shelter them the fist time, nothing was reported. But I'm afraid this time we won't be so lucky and the media will report it. I would like to move away with just the children, to protect them and myself. But I don't work and my husband is still paying the mortgage. It's difficult for me to work because social services have left us alone for now, he has been allowed to live with us but I have to supervise contact, so I can't leave them alone with him. I have no other support to help me look after the children.
I feel trapped in this situation and I don't know what to do. I can't leave because I have nowhere to go. It feels as if I know a bomb is going to fall on our house and I'm tied up and can't leave!
Does anyone have any advice? I can't reason with him. He seems to think he will get away with this and no harm will come to me and the children.
Our children still don't know anything. I managed to shelter them the fist time, nothing was reported. But I'm afraid this time we won't be so lucky and the media will report it. I would like to move away with just the children, to protect them and myself. But I don't work and my husband is still paying the mortgage. It's difficult for me to work because social services have left us alone for now, he has been allowed to live with us but I have to supervise contact, so I can't leave them alone with him. I have no other support to help me look after the children.
I feel trapped in this situation and I don't know what to do. I can't leave because I have nowhere to go. It feels as if I know a bomb is going to fall on our house and I'm tied up and can't leave!
Does anyone have any advice? I can't reason with him. He seems to think he will get away with this and no harm will come to me and the children.
Thank you for your reply lee1969, I don't want to go to the police or ss because I don't want them to be involved again, but there is someone from the council I spoke to before who I can maybe go for advice again.
Thanks again xx
Cristina
Thanks again xx
Cristina
Oh Cristina that sounds horrible. I don’t have any experience of divorce/ separation but I thought that if you had children then you may be on a stronger foot as he would have some sort of duty to support you. If this is his second time it may be that he would be looking at a custodial sentence so looking at your finances now may be a really good idea. If he gets that sort of sentence then you would need to think about how to pay the mortgage anyway. Have you thought about making sure you have a separate bank account of your own, so you can make sure you have your own money if you need it. Try citizens advice. Or maybe even some women’s aid projects if there are any near you. Good luck xx