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Getting back to Work

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GingerBiscuit

Member since
June 2023

7 posts

Posted Mon July 3, 2023 3:50pmReport post

I'm only four weeks into this mess. I have been off work sick for the whole time but would like to try and get back to bring some normality into my life. Well I think I'd like to get back! Not sure if I'd mentally cope!

I'm worried though as this will mean going into work to change my hours. Normally me and my partner share the childcare between us but now this is impossible as he can not be unsupervised with the kids and can only be supervised by me.

How do I tell my work? Social Services have told me work have to be accomodating but do they really?

Distressed and pregnant

Member since
November 2020

997 posts

Posted Mon July 3, 2023 4:15pmReport post

Hi,

Is it possible to ask your GP for a note requesting a phased return period where you do fewer hours per work day and are able to do this whilst the children are at school or nursery? Have you thought about what you will do with the upcoming summer holidays? Would it be viable for a family member or friend to have the children during this time? I told my manager at the time about the knock and like you I had a month on sick leave and another month on a phased return so I did shorter days. I had the option to extend the phased return but after the two months I felt able to go back to full time hours and actually needed that distraction.
Employers do need to accommodate flexible working patterns for parents but what this looks like in reality can vary greatly. If you work for a larger company they generally have more scope for flexibility than smaller companies although you may actually get more support in a smaller company as they can often be more understanding of personal issues. I'd look into the option of a phased return before deciding on changing your hours permanently as you may commit to more than you feel comfortable doing in an attempt to compensate for your drop in hours. The last thing you need is more stress at the moment xxx

Parkerpoo1

Member since
July 2022

252 posts

Posted Mon July 3, 2023 6:11pmReport post

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Edited Thu December 21, 2023 10:08am

Parkerpoo1

Member since
July 2022

252 posts

Posted Mon July 3, 2023 6:11pmReport post

Post deleted


Edited Thu December 21, 2023 10:08am

Blue Sky

Member since
February 2023

205 posts

Posted Mon July 3, 2023 7:21pmReport post

Post deleted


Edited Fri January 12, 2024 4:16pm

Jotieflower

Member since
June 2023

16 posts

Posted Mon July 3, 2023 9:15pmReport post

I after the knock, I msged my boss to say I had an emergency family crisis Nd needed a week off. During that time I spoke to Hr and disclosed the situation, work has been great and accommodating. I went back to work after that week as needed a distraction from the hell that was going on in my life and just needed things to be as normal as possible for my kids.

I found it great to take my mind off things and has helped me to not dwell on it all. Work also had help@hand which offers free counselling as well as other benefits which I have taken advantage of.

Work offered me a phased return back or temporary part time if I needed it. They know I have pickups and drop offs to manage on my own so I just make up the hours when kids are in bed.

GingerBiscuit

Member since
June 2023

7 posts

Posted Thu July 6, 2023 5:28pmReport post

I think I just need to be brave and go in and speak to work. It's scary though. You feel your partners shame is your shame. Or that you walk round with it written on your back!

I guess I don't have to go into every detail. Just the situation I've found myself in.

Runawaygirl

Member since
March 2023

85 posts

Posted Thu July 6, 2023 7:17pmReport post

I just wanted to say how much I relate to your words about "your partners shame is your shame". That's exactly how I feel.

I had to tell work - it's in my terms and conditions due to change of personal circumstances. I have to say, they have been amazingly supportive and regularly check in with me to make sure I'm ok.

Good luck x

Nemesis

Member since
July 2021

125 posts

Posted Thu July 6, 2023 7:38pmReport post

I also told my boss on day 2. It was awful as he was such a great family man, he adores hos wife and children (same age) so I was humiliated

but work was amazing, he told his boss aseys face it, it ain't a usual situation.



they were very supportive and reduced my hours etc

I took 2 months off (due to logistics as it was summer hols so I needed to cover childcare) and I had also started to clear the house, and clean... and clean and clean ... and paint...

I went back to my family a few weeks, my boss actually thought I wouldn't be back, but I always knew I would be back, whilst I sorted the next stages of my journey and life x