Plea hearing
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Hi everyone,
So my partner had his plea hearing yesterday. He was in and out within 10 minutes which was good.
But I feel like life is crashing around me, he asked his solicitor what the outcome might be for him and they said due to the charges it maybe custodial but lots of people have gotten away with far far worse. This is what I'm worried about the most, I'm full of worry, im not sleeping, I'm crying at everything and anything, I'm having constant panick attacks. To add to it I have my partners family and my family bombarding us with 101 questions. I can barely form a sentence let alone answer their questions.
His dad said about relocating but since saying that I've been left to do it on my own. It's stressful especially when I am struggling to speak to anyone on the phone. But I feel even more stressed because if we move away and he gets custodial how will I pay the rent on my own?
I feel so overwhelmed and I don't want to go to work but I'm here now wishing I could go home. But I can't I need money ???? I just want to Curl in a ball and shut off from the world.
Send love and strength to you all xxx
So my partner had his plea hearing yesterday. He was in and out within 10 minutes which was good.
But I feel like life is crashing around me, he asked his solicitor what the outcome might be for him and they said due to the charges it maybe custodial but lots of people have gotten away with far far worse. This is what I'm worried about the most, I'm full of worry, im not sleeping, I'm crying at everything and anything, I'm having constant panick attacks. To add to it I have my partners family and my family bombarding us with 101 questions. I can barely form a sentence let alone answer their questions.
His dad said about relocating but since saying that I've been left to do it on my own. It's stressful especially when I am struggling to speak to anyone on the phone. But I feel even more stressed because if we move away and he gets custodial how will I pay the rent on my own?
I feel so overwhelmed and I don't want to go to work but I'm here now wishing I could go home. But I can't I need money ???? I just want to Curl in a ball and shut off from the world.
Send love and strength to you all xxx
We're still at the pre-charge stage waiting for forensics to come back for our son's online offences. I'm seeing the court stuff as this awful mountain to get over sometime in the future so we know what we're dealing with, and I'm sure I'll feel like you in that in between place when it's all happening but isn't complete yet with a big question mark hanging over everything. For us it's not the same as if it was a partner as if he gets a custodial it won't affect us in the same way as his immediate family (although we may discover that his wife won't then let us see our grandchildren which would be another cause for grief).
I can't really offer anything other than a big hug but I know others here have already been through the court hearing process, both those whose person got a custodial sentence and those who didn't, who can give you their wisdom from real experience. And they are still around to tell the tale so that's a bit of hope that people do get over this nightmare, scarred but still breathing. At least that's how I talk to myself on a good day.
I think the best bit of advice I've read here is to not make hasty decisions although if you're a planner like me it's hard not to. Do your family know how stressed you are or are you putting on a brave face with them? Have you spoken to your GP about how you're feeling? There is no shame in getting some medical help or even a sick note if things become too overwhelming - we wouldn't think twice about having time off work for any other traumatic experience.
As for the solicitor's words, they can't know for sure as so much is dependent on what happens on the day but I'm guessing your OH's solicitor is just quoting from the sentencing guidelines which are pretty heavy reading but only guidelines. Are you getting together things for mitigation like character references? Again, having those seems to be a bit random as far as how much they help at sentencing but at least you will know you gave it your best shot rather than kicking yourselves that you didn't do more - plus it will give you something to think about rather than being at the mercy of your thoughts. Look after yourself Lish xxx
I can't really offer anything other than a big hug but I know others here have already been through the court hearing process, both those whose person got a custodial sentence and those who didn't, who can give you their wisdom from real experience. And they are still around to tell the tale so that's a bit of hope that people do get over this nightmare, scarred but still breathing. At least that's how I talk to myself on a good day.
I think the best bit of advice I've read here is to not make hasty decisions although if you're a planner like me it's hard not to. Do your family know how stressed you are or are you putting on a brave face with them? Have you spoken to your GP about how you're feeling? There is no shame in getting some medical help or even a sick note if things become too overwhelming - we wouldn't think twice about having time off work for any other traumatic experience.
As for the solicitor's words, they can't know for sure as so much is dependent on what happens on the day but I'm guessing your OH's solicitor is just quoting from the sentencing guidelines which are pretty heavy reading but only guidelines. Are you getting together things for mitigation like character references? Again, having those seems to be a bit random as far as how much they help at sentencing but at least you will know you gave it your best shot rather than kicking yourselves that you didn't do more - plus it will give you something to think about rather than being at the mercy of your thoughts. Look after yourself Lish xxx
Hi my love - sorry to read how overwhelmed you are feeling and curling up in a ball is a time I'm sure we've all been through.
I'm well down the jouney these days but when a blip happens I just wish everyone would go away, keep their opinions to themselves and let me be.
Not a lot to offer just reassurance and a hug x
I'm well down the jouney these days but when a blip happens I just wish everyone would go away, keep their opinions to themselves and let me be.
Not a lot to offer just reassurance and a hug x
I'm so sorry that this is becoming so difficult. I would suggest speaking to citizens advice or the unlock charity about your finances. My OH had to move out the day of the arrest. A blessing about renting rather than having a mortgage is that you may be able to claim universal credit to help with the rental costs if you drop to one income x
Lish
I am so sorry you are feeling so much uncertainty and the pressure of this journey heightens it more x
The solicitor, the police can advise on what they think he could get , the good old saying of plan for the worst and hope for the best is all you can do hun x
Not one person can give you an outcome until the day of sentancing and only the judge can decide on either custodial or suspended xx
Sending hugs to you xx
I am so sorry you are feeling so much uncertainty and the pressure of this journey heightens it more x
The solicitor, the police can advise on what they think he could get , the good old saying of plan for the worst and hope for the best is all you can do hun x
Not one person can give you an outcome until the day of sentancing and only the judge can decide on either custodial or suspended xx
Sending hugs to you xx