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The weekly Friday update x

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Upset mum

Member since
June 2020

2396 posts

Posted Fri July 7, 2023 4:18pmReport post

Good afternoon lovlies x

Hope you are all doing ok xx

Well what a week its been with the move but I am pleased to say everything is in its place, honestly after we moved everything in I could have cried where on earth was everything going to go but after lots of late evenings we have finally finished, and it feels like home , just waiting on the new sofa, the old house was lovely but what with the knock with my son and my second husband leaving, it was tainted with crap memories, but here it's a step forward dont get me wrong I wish my offending son was here but he is doing ok x

It was heartbreaking saying bye to my daughter and her boyfriend and of course my dog as she is going with them but I have done more in the last week than I have over the last 2 years, been out everday, shopping for bits, meeting my daughter and dog x

The only thing missing is I need to book a visit with my son the hungry catappiler wants feeding :-) xx

Smile through tears

Member since
September 2021

2547 posts

Posted Fri July 7, 2023 5:56pmReport post

You have done so well Upset - made one massive leap of change. You need to chill a bit now and enjoy it. Fresh start...... I'm sure you'll see lots of your daughter and a hug from your son, is this weekend a visit?

This week has not been stress free but everything remains on track - which is all I can ask for. I cut down on a couple of phone conversations with my son - just to have a breather. I emailed him and reminded him of the difficulties we have to face due to his crime. I don't want to upset him BUT I feel he has to know the truth - it's called reality ....

otherwise week not to bad...... hoping for a chilled weekend x I only want weather related storms!

Edited Fri July 7, 2023 6:03pm

Upset mum

Member since
June 2020

2396 posts

Posted Fri July 7, 2023 8:27pmReport post

Hi Smile x

Have a lovely weekend pottering about in the garden if weather permits xx

My son chose to cut back on calls he phones about 3 times a week now , we have 2 video calls a month and one visit x I would go every week but would probably drive him insane lol x hopefully we will visit next weekend x

He had some good news this week there are just over 650 inmates and they are trialling laptops they had 3 to give out and he was given one, due to behaviour, support, and him in general obviously it is restricted to access but he can now do his degree online, type his notes, has access to chess he is self learning how to play and he is allowed it in his cell so another bit of positive news for him and of course for me xx

Runawaygirl

Member since
March 2023

85 posts

Posted Fri July 7, 2023 8:59pmReport post

Average week here although I was hoping to get the risk assessment from work but no luck yet. Hopefully not too much longer to wait now. Also I was hoping for a review of my working situation but the meeting was postponed until next week due to staff availability.

OH has been quite depressed about the situation today. Well I think he's depressed every day but every now and then we talk about it which, to be honest, I hate. It just brings this sorry mess to the surface again. If we don't talk about it, it doesn't mean I don't stop thinking about it but it's not quite so real, if you know what I mean. Hard to explain.

I worry he's getting his hopes up too much for a NFA or a warning. I'm tending to go in the opposite direction and fearing the worst. We're both worrying about the media and potentially losing jobs, friends and having to move house. Assuming I don't end the marriage. It's like having the sword of Damocles over our heads. So many unknowns.

No plans for the weekend except the usual household chores.

Upset mum

Member since
June 2020

2396 posts

Posted Fri July 7, 2023 9:15pmReport post

Runawaygirl

Totally understand what you mean xx

This journey is horrendous and even worse as we have no say or control as to what happens x

I hope your work sorts out the assessment are they been supportive to you?

I'm sure your oh is struggling and to be honest hindsight is great but we cant change what is happening

You need to do something nice for yourself, honestly I have been the same mundane house chores, not wanting to do or go anywhere but sometimes we need to get those big girl knickers on and think stuff it life is to short and we have just one chance x

You don't need to decide to stay or leave, you cant control if its reported in the media, but what you can do is just take a day at a time, a long soak in a bubble bath, a new outfit, a hair cut, a bit of you time because you deserve you time xx hugs sent xx

Dawn19

Member since
June 2023

147 posts

Posted Fri July 7, 2023 9:58pmReport post

My daughter has been off school this week so I've had to work from home for 3 days and the other 2 days my OH had to be out of the house while I went into work. Though he was annoyed with me and snapping at everyone cos I was making him go out of the house on the 2 days I went to work. But I can't help thinking this whole situation we are in is his fault.

We had a visit from our 18 year old daughter today who moved in with her boyfriend a few months ago. She doesn't know anything about this even though I keep telling him he needs to tell her as she already feels like we are pushing her out.

Went to my weekly knitting and crochet club. Was nice to get out and do something for me. Ended up staying longer than planned even though my OH had come to pick me up and waiting outside for me, getting annoyed at waiting, but I was talking which was good for me.

The SS have closed our case, so I guess that is something. But we're still in limbo waiting for the police investigation.

Hope everyone is okay xx

Webb89

Member since
July 2022

438 posts

Posted Sat July 8, 2023 12:20amReport post

Hello friday check in

This week i have had my hair and nails done as its my birthday this coming week. Like all milestones it brings up good and bad. This time last year i was on my own as OH was on remand, while away we had two close family birthdays. But i am trying to be positive.



Nothing bad has happened this week and feel better after been pampered. Still no decision long term but taking each day as it comes and living in the moment. That is what my councillor has been working towards as i always dread the future. Beginning to learn that i cant control everything. There is one thing knowing this and another accepting.
Heres to another week. X

Smile through tears

Member since
September 2021

2547 posts

Posted Sat July 8, 2023 6:45amReport post

I always smile Upset - when you mention big girl knickers..... on a lighter note - I visualise all us lucy faithfull forum ladies in primark, holding up knickers and saying 'ahhhhhh, no - there not big enough. ;-)

Seaside

Member since
July 2022

560 posts

Posted Sat July 8, 2023 7:11amReport post

Upset I am pleased to hear that your move has gone well - a new start and time for you to make new memories xx

Smile my dear friend I hope you are ok you certainly made me smile with the idea of us all choosing big girl knickers in Primark !!

I certainly needed my big girl knickers yesterday as it was the day on which my son should have been graduating had it not been for the knock so I was in an absolute mess of emotions-sadness and anger mixed together.

Today I'm going for a long walk and hopefully will start to feel better but right now all I want to do is weep for the life we once had .

Smile through tears

Member since
September 2021

2547 posts

Posted Sat July 8, 2023 7:34amReport post

I see where your coming from Seaside - I was gutted when I had to take steps to terminate my sons job. He was in custody so I was left to sort it out. I only informed them he wished to terminate his employment due to a nervous breakdown. They were so good offering him options etc. then to find out what had happened via the media circus...... heartbreaking........



it's in the top of the list of horrendous things I had to go through.....

hug sent. Breathe deeply ......

Edited Sat July 8, 2023 7:36am

Upset mum

Member since
June 2020

2396 posts

Posted Sat July 8, 2023 10:30amReport post

Ahh Seaside sending hugs as always xx

I hope the walk helped clear your head x

We can totally understand how you must have been feeling but you have got this remember that xx

Smile I did chuckle at your Primark comment lol xx

Runawaygirl

Member since
March 2023

85 posts

Posted Sat July 8, 2023 4:49pmReport post

Upset Mum

Work are being incredibly supportive, thankfully. I have HR checking in quite regularly and we're arranging a face to face chat next week as there are a few things I want to go over.

My boss is there being supportive too. Not in any particuar way but I know that if I'm having a bad day, she'll understand. I just need to drop her a note to let her know the situation and that, otherwise, I'm ok.

In terms of being kind to myself, I'm keeping up my fitness (I need to lose a few pounds anyway) and I've just taken up joga which I've found I really enjoy.

Saturday chores now complete and feet are up with a mug of tea. And breath.

Seaside

Member since
July 2022

560 posts

Posted Sat July 8, 2023 5:29pmReport post

Thanks Smile and Upset I went out for a long walk and feeling better now-when I got back home my son gave me a huge bunch of flowers and told me that he's booked a meal for tomorrow to mark having made it this far despite everything that has happened-he is very aware of what he has thrown away but we are moving forward now xx

Mandymoo

Member since
September 2021

295 posts

Posted Sun July 9, 2023 2:18pmReport post

Sorry I'm late replying to this, had the most horrendous migraine that's wiped me off my feet for the last couple of days.
it's been a funny week. After my sons sentencing I expected to feel a bit flat for a few days but it's been 11 days now and I still feel like there's a big black cloud hanging over me and something bad is still to happen. I'm still checking the papers everyday to see if there's any mention (don't laugh). Do you think it would have been reported by now if it was going to be? Also we've heard absolutely nothing from probation. Is this normal. We've not got a clue what we can and can't do. Just feel in limbo.

Anyway I'm sat in the sun now drinking a glass of wine and im going to have an hour off from worrying if it kills me :-) xx

Seaside

Member since
July 2022

560 posts

Posted Sun July 9, 2023 2:55pmReport post

Mandymoo I sympathise with the migraine I suffer with them as well and it seems to be worse if the weather is humid.

I was the same as you after my son was sentenced constantly worrying and checking the papers every day-we we're extremely lucky that nothing has been reported at all and since its now 6 months I hope that it won't be.

Was your address read out in court?- our address wasn't at any time fortunately.

We didn't hear from probation until after we had a visit from the visor which was about a week after sentencing.

Enjoy your glass of wine and look after yourself.

Mandymoo

Member since
September 2021

295 posts

Posted Sun July 9, 2023 4:07pmReport post

No our address wasn't read out so I'm hoping it won't be published now.
what is the visors role? And how do they differ from the probation officer? There's still so much I don't know about this process xx