New to this forum, but 2 years along from The Knock
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Hi Folks,
I just signed up to this forum and want to thank all of you in our odd little 'club' for your bravery and honesty. I didn't have The Knock. I had a phone call saying I needed to get home to let the police in or they would force entry. I had no idea what was going on, only that my boyfriend had been arrested for something, but he didn't know what. We collect replica firearms so thought maybe someone saw one of our blank firing weapons, but then I thought we would have had a visit from the armed support unit. I managed to leave my team of trainees to fend for themselves while I sped home to be greeted by a police van and a dog unit. The dog was specially trained to sniff out anything that can store data. I had no idea dogs were trained to do that. The police were easygoing and friendly. When I asked what it was about the head police officer said he couldn't tell me but that I need to read the search warrent...and there it was in black and white. Indecent images of children... I felt sick to my stomach. There's no way my boyfriend would do that. We're both happily child free. He has zero interest in chidren in any capacity.
After the the 3+ hour search I was left on my own. When my boyfriend eventually turned up, he came in through the door looking devasted and sheepish. I pushed him up against the wall and screamed at him.
That was December 2021. We had a 'quiet' Christmas holiday trying to come to terms not just with what he did, but with the realisation that came from the trauma of this event which sparked memories of his own sexual abuse by a family member from the age of 13 to 16 and a further sexual assault when he was boarding at college.
We went straight into private counselling (at great expense), and our therapist reminded me that although what he did was wrong, he also was the abused child, and so I've stuck by him as he tries to come to terms with that and certain self-destructive behaviours he's trying to tackle. He tells me his correspondance with the online paedophile (who turned out to be a police officer) was done out of 'morbid curiosity', and he never intended to meet up with the man's 'daughter'. He just wanted to know what makes men like that 'tick'. He also cut off communication with the man when things started to get too serious, like meeting up.
All we can do is hope his defence team takes good care of him against the best the CPS can throw at him. His plea hearing in Crown Court was this week. He has no idea how almost 1500 images ended up on his computor...and I believe him. He was pretty shocked by that tally. His trial is next year. It's been the worst time of my life, but I feel I've found a safe place here with people who understand the trauma that comes from being innocently associated with people who have made seriously bad choices...
I just signed up to this forum and want to thank all of you in our odd little 'club' for your bravery and honesty. I didn't have The Knock. I had a phone call saying I needed to get home to let the police in or they would force entry. I had no idea what was going on, only that my boyfriend had been arrested for something, but he didn't know what. We collect replica firearms so thought maybe someone saw one of our blank firing weapons, but then I thought we would have had a visit from the armed support unit. I managed to leave my team of trainees to fend for themselves while I sped home to be greeted by a police van and a dog unit. The dog was specially trained to sniff out anything that can store data. I had no idea dogs were trained to do that. The police were easygoing and friendly. When I asked what it was about the head police officer said he couldn't tell me but that I need to read the search warrent...and there it was in black and white. Indecent images of children... I felt sick to my stomach. There's no way my boyfriend would do that. We're both happily child free. He has zero interest in chidren in any capacity.
After the the 3+ hour search I was left on my own. When my boyfriend eventually turned up, he came in through the door looking devasted and sheepish. I pushed him up against the wall and screamed at him.
That was December 2021. We had a 'quiet' Christmas holiday trying to come to terms not just with what he did, but with the realisation that came from the trauma of this event which sparked memories of his own sexual abuse by a family member from the age of 13 to 16 and a further sexual assault when he was boarding at college.
We went straight into private counselling (at great expense), and our therapist reminded me that although what he did was wrong, he also was the abused child, and so I've stuck by him as he tries to come to terms with that and certain self-destructive behaviours he's trying to tackle. He tells me his correspondance with the online paedophile (who turned out to be a police officer) was done out of 'morbid curiosity', and he never intended to meet up with the man's 'daughter'. He just wanted to know what makes men like that 'tick'. He also cut off communication with the man when things started to get too serious, like meeting up.
All we can do is hope his defence team takes good care of him against the best the CPS can throw at him. His plea hearing in Crown Court was this week. He has no idea how almost 1500 images ended up on his computor...and I believe him. He was pretty shocked by that tally. His trial is next year. It's been the worst time of my life, but I feel I've found a safe place here with people who understand the trauma that comes from being innocently associated with people who have made seriously bad choices...