Letter today
Notifications OFF
Hi
Why is it something relatively small can completely throw you?
If been in a reasonable place since the middle of last week having had a rubbish few weeks. Anyway let from my solicitor telling me my husband was being released on 20th September, we'd had to have our financial settlement court date put off as he's refusing to come out of prison for it.
Now I know the date I'm been really tearful again, thinking about him constantly and writing about seeing him again - ridiculous really as I'm certainly not going to see him for another 3 months!!
The whole journey is just emotional turmoil, will we ever be as we were out do we learn to live in this state now?
Will there ever be a time that I don't think about him, his lies, our ruined life, and even bloody well feel sorry for him when he doesn't deserve it as he had treated me terribly!!
Xx
Why is it something relatively small can completely throw you?
If been in a reasonable place since the middle of last week having had a rubbish few weeks. Anyway let from my solicitor telling me my husband was being released on 20th September, we'd had to have our financial settlement court date put off as he's refusing to come out of prison for it.
Now I know the date I'm been really tearful again, thinking about him constantly and writing about seeing him again - ridiculous really as I'm certainly not going to see him for another 3 months!!
The whole journey is just emotional turmoil, will we ever be as we were out do we learn to live in this state now?
Will there ever be a time that I don't think about him, his lies, our ruined life, and even bloody well feel sorry for him when he doesn't deserve it as he had treated me terribly!!
Xx
Worried not writing!! Damn phone
Hi poster
You know you're so right, I am getting over things quicker so I must be moving in the right direction!
Sometimes you can't see the wood for the trees can you and need someone else to point out the photos!
I suppose if I were to look back to a year ago that was just total fantasy land and not in a good way, I'm not sure how I got up every morning and carried on, it isn't so often I have those days now
Thanks for the lovely words of advice, you have turned what I thought a negative into something that feels in part a positive xx
You know you're so right, I am getting over things quicker so I must be moving in the right direction!
Sometimes you can't see the wood for the trees can you and need someone else to point out the photos!
I suppose if I were to look back to a year ago that was just total fantasy land and not in a good way, I'm not sure how I got up every morning and carried on, it isn't so often I have those days now
Thanks for the lovely words of advice, you have turned what I thought a negative into something that feels in part a positive xx
Obvious not photos - this is so hard with a phone because your can't see all the screen therefore you can't amend it!!
Hi Tracey
Poster is right. It is pretty major situation.
so sorry for late response. I have been away for a week and the hotel had no wi fi. Still I had a break away and the holiday home had no wi fi. Still I feel pretty rejuvenated.
The thing with this offence is it’s conseqare never ending and as such closure can be a problem, that you don’t have with other addictions like drugs or gambling. I am also in a constant state of reevaluating what happened to him to cause this mess. I am enjoying my counselling and rediscovering myself and my inner confidence. I won’t take him back. But I do also feel a strange sense of sadness for how his life worked out and how his early childhood trauma impacted his whole life. But just as I am responsible for my choices so are these men.
I have learnt a lot about shame and self esteem in the last six months. My husbands was so low and while I feel sorry for the lost little boy. There is nothing we could do and we did nothing wrong.
Your doing so well Tracey. I admire everyone’s strength getting through this journey, they are our own feelings. You sound like a kind person I think it’s natural to contemplate how our lives and these became intertwined.
your feelings are natural don’t feel you need to minamise them it’s a huge thing you have been through. It’s put us all on a different life path we were expecting xxx
love and care beth Lou xx
Poster is right. It is pretty major situation.
so sorry for late response. I have been away for a week and the hotel had no wi fi. Still I had a break away and the holiday home had no wi fi. Still I feel pretty rejuvenated.
The thing with this offence is it’s conseqare never ending and as such closure can be a problem, that you don’t have with other addictions like drugs or gambling. I am also in a constant state of reevaluating what happened to him to cause this mess. I am enjoying my counselling and rediscovering myself and my inner confidence. I won’t take him back. But I do also feel a strange sense of sadness for how his life worked out and how his early childhood trauma impacted his whole life. But just as I am responsible for my choices so are these men.
I have learnt a lot about shame and self esteem in the last six months. My husbands was so low and while I feel sorry for the lost little boy. There is nothing we could do and we did nothing wrong.
Your doing so well Tracey. I admire everyone’s strength getting through this journey, they are our own feelings. You sound like a kind person I think it’s natural to contemplate how our lives and these became intertwined.
your feelings are natural don’t feel you need to minamise them it’s a huge thing you have been through. It’s put us all on a different life path we were expecting xxx
love and care beth Lou xx
I also consider where I came and that I also could be still living a lie in a relationship where my needs weren’t met. So in some ways although us finding out about their secrets. It means we are awakened to what really matters in life.
Hi Bethlou23
Glad you had some time away, hope you had a fab time with your daughter.
It really resonated with me when you said about feeling sad for him, I feel so sad for the person I thought he was and what he's lost but you are absolutely right, they have made choices, the same as we have made choices in our lives. I do realise about people having hard lives but they still don't make these awful choices that our partners and husband's have.
The judge at my husband's sentencing told him that no matter what he has suffered, no matter how vulnerable be is, he'll never be as vulnerable as the children he'd been viewing, they didn't have the choices my husband did - and he's right!!
We are strong women I just wished we always believed that
Take care xx
Glad you had some time away, hope you had a fab time with your daughter.
It really resonated with me when you said about feeling sad for him, I feel so sad for the person I thought he was and what he's lost but you are absolutely right, they have made choices, the same as we have made choices in our lives. I do realise about people having hard lives but they still don't make these awful choices that our partners and husband's have.
The judge at my husband's sentencing told him that no matter what he has suffered, no matter how vulnerable be is, he'll never be as vulnerable as the children he'd been viewing, they didn't have the choices my husband did - and he's right!!
We are strong women I just wished we always believed that
Take care xx