Advice on social services
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Yikes, first post on here. But i have been here in the background for just over 6months now. And finally plucked the courage to speak. I've read so many posts too and its definitely kept me sane amongst the chaos. - Expecially at those 2am feeds!
So, 6 months ago my partner was arrested for download of iioc. Still under investigation. We have a 3 month old baby together, and i have two children from previous. Currently on Child in Need plan. For all 3 children, but for PR reasons (so they are saying) my two older children aren't allowed contact at all with my partner. Social worker has been so flakey with their 'assessments' and constantly moving the goal posts. And talking about risks, but they haven't got any sufficient evidence or even tried to (there isn't) source any by talking to my children. I feel we're actually going backwards as time goes on?! ... They have only spent an hour with my partner to somehow complete a risk assessment on him and have made their opinion of him already. I was told i was niave and needed to have a better understanding of online offending. - I've done lots of research and completed the inform course too.
The last visit from social worker was to end the plan due to it being a CIN and the bail extension. For supervised contact to remain in place with our baby but still no contact with my older children. I was then told they would be out of my life with the t&cs that he is never to live with us or to see older children. But they 'understand' i want to continue the relationship. (I have a good, clear understanding of why my partner has got to this point)
Has anyone else found themselves in a similar situation? I feel they are forcing me down a one-way path. Which with the investigation still ongoing, can they?
So, 6 months ago my partner was arrested for download of iioc. Still under investigation. We have a 3 month old baby together, and i have two children from previous. Currently on Child in Need plan. For all 3 children, but for PR reasons (so they are saying) my two older children aren't allowed contact at all with my partner. Social worker has been so flakey with their 'assessments' and constantly moving the goal posts. And talking about risks, but they haven't got any sufficient evidence or even tried to (there isn't) source any by talking to my children. I feel we're actually going backwards as time goes on?! ... They have only spent an hour with my partner to somehow complete a risk assessment on him and have made their opinion of him already. I was told i was niave and needed to have a better understanding of online offending. - I've done lots of research and completed the inform course too.
The last visit from social worker was to end the plan due to it being a CIN and the bail extension. For supervised contact to remain in place with our baby but still no contact with my older children. I was then told they would be out of my life with the t&cs that he is never to live with us or to see older children. But they 'understand' i want to continue the relationship. (I have a good, clear understanding of why my partner has got to this point)
Has anyone else found themselves in a similar situation? I feel they are forcing me down a one-way path. Which with the investigation still ongoing, can they?
We had them involved for 2 years dead on the day of the knock. We stayed at cin the whole time I stated from the start I was staying and end goal was for him to move back home. You can tell them that you don't want the case to close and normally they do re open it or get in contact after sentencing. Does it say on bail conditions that he isn't allowed contact
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It just states on his bail "no unsupervised contact with any under 18 unless approved by social care" but it wouldn't be unsupervised as i would always be there?
And yes, they seem to be sticking to the PR thing for that reason. The one thing that they say over and over is that they are going to tell my ex partner whats happening because my older children are his. However they haven't seen him for nearly 18 months due to him being abusive and violent towards me. And he was causing lots of problems, stalking me, having to put cctv up at my house, asking my oldest lots of questions about what i was doing etc whenever they would see him. It just became a very toxic environment for them. - And both school and nursery have backed me with this as they have seen the behavoir and children have openly expressed their feelings. And i was advised to keep them away. But Sw is rather keen to get him involved?!
But the threat is there that if i continue the relationship he would be informed to "safeguard the children from harm"... And the first initial social worker spoke to the oldest and asked what their worries were, they were all to do with biological and not my partner.
Its all just very confusing.
And yes, they seem to be sticking to the PR thing for that reason. The one thing that they say over and over is that they are going to tell my ex partner whats happening because my older children are his. However they haven't seen him for nearly 18 months due to him being abusive and violent towards me. And he was causing lots of problems, stalking me, having to put cctv up at my house, asking my oldest lots of questions about what i was doing etc whenever they would see him. It just became a very toxic environment for them. - And both school and nursery have backed me with this as they have seen the behavoir and children have openly expressed their feelings. And i was advised to keep them away. But Sw is rather keen to get him involved?!
But the threat is there that if i continue the relationship he would be informed to "safeguard the children from harm"... And the first initial social worker spoke to the oldest and asked what their worries were, they were all to do with biological and not my partner.
Its all just very confusing.
Morning, so our knock was 20 months ago feels like forever ago now, We has social services involved for about 2 months at that time and closed the case my partner bail condition was he was allowed home with me and my 6 children 2 only being his.
Moving forward to 6 weeks ago when I had a call from social services saying they have had a referral the police and we would to see me and my partner, we both went to the meeting, then 2 police officers came in and said no the meeting was just with myself. I was told that he had looked at imagines from cat a to d and the investigating officer will be in touch with him to have another interview.
I was in shock as I wasn't expecting this at all.
Social services then came out and saw myself and my children, they have been put on cin plan and another assessment will be done once close is closed but my partner is allowed to stay in my house but I have to supervisor him with the children.
We are still waiting for the police to call him in for an interview, the waiting is killing me as I don't know what to expect.
Moving forward to 6 weeks ago when I had a call from social services saying they have had a referral the police and we would to see me and my partner, we both went to the meeting, then 2 police officers came in and said no the meeting was just with myself. I was told that he had looked at imagines from cat a to d and the investigating officer will be in touch with him to have another interview.
I was in shock as I wasn't expecting this at all.
Social services then came out and saw myself and my children, they have been put on cin plan and another assessment will be done once close is closed but my partner is allowed to stay in my house but I have to supervisor him with the children.
We are still waiting for the police to call him in for an interview, the waiting is killing me as I don't know what to expect.
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@Devils06 - Hi, it seems like they all work so differently?! That's good that he is still allowed in your home at least. A bit of normality?
Oh gosh, thats such a long time. I take it thats because the devices have been looked at? So with the cin plan, All of your children can be in the house with him too? - I hope you don't mind me asking these questions.
Well hopefully they hurry up and don't keep you waiting for that much longer.
Oh gosh, thats such a long time. I take it thats because the devices have been looked at? So with the cin plan, All of your children can be in the house with him too? - I hope you don't mind me asking these questions.
Well hopefully they hurry up and don't keep you waiting for that much longer.
@Cherry - They really are trying it with us. It's all because of him being on their birth certificate. Which is ridiculously awful considering how his behavoir has been, you'd think the "PR" would be taken away?! And its a massive kick in the teeth for my partner too who has too been there more for them than he's ever been. They ask for him all the time, because to them they understand who's been there and loved/provided for them.
The first social worker did a worksheet with my oldest at school about her worries, and they were all aimed at biological and she gave examples of his behavior, and the sw stated that she had a good understanding of good/bad touch. But since its been passed onto current, barely any interest in speaking to children and throws the telling bioloical at every possibility to put me on edge. Very quick to jump to that but isn't at all interested in wanting to listen and understand how dangerous it would be telling him. Then there would be a safeguarding issue! putting us all at danger.
The first social worker did a worksheet with my oldest at school about her worries, and they were all aimed at biological and she gave examples of his behavior, and the sw stated that she had a good understanding of good/bad touch. But since its been passed onto current, barely any interest in speaking to children and throws the telling bioloical at every possibility to put me on edge. Very quick to jump to that but isn't at all interested in wanting to listen and understand how dangerous it would be telling him. Then there would be a safeguarding issue! putting us all at danger.
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@Cherry - Thats so wonderful how supportive they are being for you and your daughter. And they listened to the prosessionals who are around your daughter on the daily like school.
Yes, school are being amazing. They have no concerns, and nursery too. It just seems to be the sw. Whats frustrating is how they throw these speculations around, but show no sign of attempting to explore their concerns?! No other professional has any concerns but their comments are disregarded because to sw, they are going with their "but what if"... but not wanting to ask the children anything. Its all a bit odd to me.
I wasn't aware until recent that they are newly qualified and first case of this kind too. So like you said, her personal opinion. So maybe i need to have a meeting with their management to see what we can do to move it forward for our children. But its nice to hear others having the same opinion in what im thinking too, Stops me thinking im going crazy! Thank you, so much x
Yes, school are being amazing. They have no concerns, and nursery too. It just seems to be the sw. Whats frustrating is how they throw these speculations around, but show no sign of attempting to explore their concerns?! No other professional has any concerns but their comments are disregarded because to sw, they are going with their "but what if"... but not wanting to ask the children anything. Its all a bit odd to me.
I wasn't aware until recent that they are newly qualified and first case of this kind too. So like you said, her personal opinion. So maybe i need to have a meeting with their management to see what we can do to move it forward for our children. But its nice to hear others having the same opinion in what im thinking too, Stops me thinking im going crazy! Thank you, so much x
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